I woke with the alarm this morning hoping that the weird depression that's been nipping around the corners might've lessened in the night, but things quickly took a turn for the worse, because why wouldn't they? I looked in on my stupid Simpsons game
, then got the house opened up for the day and took the Yorkie
to grab the newspaper in the morning chill, the result of a cold front that's blown in because apparently it's just never going to be spring here again.
Since the pup was so excited and scenting the air on our little outing out front, I decided to let her have a ramble around the back yard, where she immediately stopped and ate God
knows what off the fucking ground, because she's too fucking stupid to realize that she gets ill EVERY TIME SHE DOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS
. I was about six feet away from her and she ran like she'd been shot at when I leaped after her to try and get whatever
it was out of her mouth, which pissed me off even further, so I finally snatched her up by the back door and tried to see if anything was still in her mouth, then tossed her inside, where she ran to cower under the wife's feet in the Office
I was so furious at this I couldn't even see straight, so I sat briefly in the Office
, explaining what had happened but when I couldn't seem to calm down even slightly I decided to just leave, go shopping somewhere or just drive around, pick a fight with some random asshole in Walmart
or whatever to take my mind off of things. I mean, I was already
in a bad mood, so to have the dog pulling shitty tricks just seemed like a tipping point that I wasn't prepared to deal with, so rather than walk around punching any more door facings at the house I dressed and apologized to the wife and just fucking left.
I absolutely hate
feeling this way, not being in more control of my emotions, especially when were talking about these weird nebulous feelings of depression. I've been dwelling on Macguffin
and his suicide a lot in the past week, and I don't know how to lessen the swell of sadness that wells up within me when I wish I could still talk to my friend about movies, the things we enjoyed together or the things that I've since discovered in his absence, and the fucked-up-edest part of all of it is I don't even know what triggered it. It's not the anniversary of his death or anything like that, so I really have no idea what my major malfunction is.
Pointing the car towards the South
side of town, I took a prowl through the Walmart
over there to see if anything caught my eye, carrying around and eventually talking myself out of a Mill Creek
set of 50 horror movies, as I figure that sort of thing from them tends to stay in print. I hit up the nearby Starbucks
for some coffee and then took a pass through the local books, music and video outlet to see if anything caught my eye.
My next stop was Best Buy
to take another run at their little 'upgrade and save' promotion, at which point the kid just hands me the coupons back, which I'm fairly sure is a big no-no, so I just thanked him and tossed them into my bag with my various purchases, since I figured I could re-use them later.
and I had made plans to meet at a little Japanese
steakhouse on the Loop
, so I hit up Target
to kill some time, then finally made my way across the Loop
to meet him for a bite to eat, hoping that my lousy mood would lighten a bit by the time we finally got together. As it turned out lunch was fine, though I felt a little bad because EL
was still on a bit of a high about the art show from this past weekend and I was doing my dancing around being depressed shtick, so I apologized for that and we caught up a bit before finally going our separate ways.
On a complete wild hair I decided to run over to the Best Buy
just to see what (if anything) they might have that their store here did not, since I had the coupons to use again if I chose to. I turned up exactly nothing, so that was a big waste of time, but I did start to feel like the drive might've lightened my mood slightly. I hit the liquor store on the way back into town to replenish the booze at the house, then finally headed home to work on the blog and try to do something of substance in the afternoon.
Once I got home I spent some time on the interwebs, working on the blog for a couple hours before finally making myself a cocktail and settling into the den to finally watch something that'd been on the TiVo
Death Rides A Horse
|That Must Be One Terrified|
is one of the best titled Spaghetti Westerns
out there and something that came highly recommended from several internet acquaintances, so when I saw it on cable I made sure to grab it and then let it languish there for months on end. The movie was really good, with John Phillip Law
plays the adult version of a boy who saw his family killed by robbers, and has spent his life training his shooting skills to hunt them down. He joins forces with a recently released criminal played by Lee Van Cleef
, who is looking for the same men for the money that they owe him, and if you have an idea that these two men have more than this in common, well, you're already ahead of the plot. It's a great flick, and both leads give great performances; it was well worth the wait.
The wife finally made it home from her various errands, so we caught up a bit and compared notes on the day, then got into the evening's television schedule, which involved playing catch up on last night's episode of Bates Motel
, a show that always manages to straddle the line of "oh, that's neat" and "Oh, C'MON
" with the way they seem to write the characters. The wife digs it, so I'm sure we'll ride it out, but there's definitely some bits that I think could bear some re-writes were it up to me.
We caught the recent special Louis CK: Oh My God
to wrap up the evening, which I believe premiered the weekend that we were out of town for that wedding, so it was nice to finally catch up on my Louie
viewing, then we called it a night shortly afterward. I took some time to file away some books in the Library afterward, then finally headed to the interwebs to get this post dummied up before I lost the details of my day.
I headed to bed in the hopes that I might wake up in a better humor, as this lingering funk is really driving me nuts.
Be seeing you.