Truly The Devil's Holiday (Well, Almost...)

Here's some amusing irony for ya: The actual Halloween post tonight is number 667, not 666, that'd be yesterday's post, weird eh? The Devil's not in the details, he's a day late.

I'm including a little Dia De Los Muertos style image since the nature of my late night writing and posting means that people will read about my Halloween bullshit on November 1st rather than the day itself.

Best search that lead some poor soul here today? "What do Halloween mean?" via Google, which I'm not sure was in relation to the holiday itself or the deeper meanings of Michael Myers murderous behavior. Something to do with either Druids or pre-marital sex, faceless interweb stranger.

You're welcome.

In honor of the holiday, I'm including a particularly gruesome video mashup that features a horrorpunk song that's caught my wife's fancy, 1000 Corpses performed by Die Monster Die. I love the song, although the visuals here aren't necessarily that inspired as far as matching up to choruses or anything, but serve to illustrate just how gory Italian horror director Bruno Mattei can get and is consequently not safe for the average office environment.




The wife and I took time today to grab some lunch together, so we headed out shortly before noon to a restaurant. On the way I tried to get ahold of Macguffin, because I'd only this morning found out that he and Blancodeviosa's dog had passed away, via her blog. I wasn't expecting to get him on the phone (and didn't, as a matter of fact); his grief tends to be internalized rather than something he shares too much of. I feel horrible for both of them, he was a really sweet dog who meant a lot to them, my heart really goes out to their household.

We spent the afternoon getting the installation of the new television for the den lined up finally, which is nice to have a date for, although it is in a couple more weeks from now. The guy we'd been dealing with had a week's vacation that he took which threw off our being able to contact him and set things up earlier.

On a somewhat related note, I also called the alarm people to get the alarm system on the house set up in our names. The wife has been trying once a week for the past month to get these people to call her back, I call once, tell them that the guy they keep sending us to never returns any voicemail, in seconds I'm talking to a guy on the phone about the account that used to be held at this address, then I get a call about 20 minutes later from the very same guy who never called the wife back, all "Hello sir, what can I do for you?"

This has happened on more than one occasion; the wife calls a business about whatever, sometimes more than once, gets zero response, I call, identify myself and tell them what we want to happen, and then suddenly we have action. It's a very sad statement about our society, because my wife definitely holds the purse-strings around here both as a bread-winner and as the person who will be paying their exorbitant service charges, but they seem to respond better when they hear a man's voice on the phone. I think it's because the wife isn't as assertive as she should be with people, except when they've finally made her really made and she's then a total bitch to them about it. I can be more of a diplomatic prick when I want to, hell, today I even got to use a variation on the line from American Beauty where Spacey asks if the guy he's calling for actually works there, because he never seems to be in. I was quite proud of myself.

I walked Bella in the afternoon again, then set up the TiVo to grab the Ghost Hunters marathon and their live episode from the Waverly Hills Sanatorium, as well as a couple of Simpsons re-runs that were on this evening. With the evening approaching, we opened our bags of candy and put together our assortment of goodies for the kiddos. The wife picked up burgers for supper and we settled in to eat and see if we'd actually have any kind of turnout with the trick or treaters this year, since it's a new neighborhood. We had a great run last year, but had no idea how many kids to expect.

While waiting to see if any kids turned up, we started watching Fido, a charming and hilarious zombie film set in the 50's with domesticated zombies that do household chores and things like that once they have a collar around their necks to keep them in check. The movie is a lot of fun, I'd highly recommend checking it out, Billy Connolly gives a great performance as Fido, a lonely boy's best friend.

We had sporadic visitors from around 7:00 until the last straggler came at 9:30. We finished the movie and then turned out the lights around 10:30. The kids all seemed to enjoy the set-dressing pretty well, which made me happy, I like to get some kinda reaction. I may try to actually try and snap a picture on things this year, for posterity and possible posting if anyone's interested, I never got any kind of pics last year. The recurring question I've heard both years we've used the bolt of red paint spattered cloth has been "is that blood?", which I never know exactly how to answer. I don't necessarily want to really freak out some little 6 year olds or something, but do they really give a shit about the mechanics or will a Tootsie Roll shut them up?

When asked that question by an older kid this evening I just said "Do I look like I can afford to live in a house this nice? We had to get rid of the owners somehow..."

Now it's late and I'm listening to the Destroy The Brain Halloween music special while I work on this, it's a nice little mix of tunes, you should check it out.

I'm out kids, it's been a long day.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Dia De Los Muertos, Halloween, Horror Punk, Die Monster Die, Family Death, Depressing, Television, Ghost Hunters, Movies, Fido, Billy Connolly, Podcasts, Destroy The Brain

Step Into My Parlor

It was a fairly uneventful day, but I can happily say that Halloween has been spread around the front of the house for tomorrow night.

I got up at a decent hour for a change due in part to the alarm as well as the Yorkie having a fit about one of the lawn guys being here to do sprinkler maintenance. Once I got her ass calmed down, I checked e-mail while the wife left for a meeting.

I threw on the iPod and listened to the latest Night Of The Living Podcast while I worked, getting a good chunk of the thing done before the wife got back. She asked if I wanted to go grab lunch, so I came to a stopping point while she was on the phone with her Middle Sister.

The Sister ended up joining us for lunch, which is a rare occurrence, but we had a decent meal and I enjoyed visiting with her, she wasn't in one of her twisty moods that drives the wife nuts.

The wife and I went into Best Buy after lunch, the wife bought a couple of Wii games and I picked up the Daywatch flick that came out today, the sequel to Nightwatch, a film I enjoyed a lot.

Back at the house in the afternoon, I decided to throw the Halloween stuff together for the entryway. I took out the bolt of bloody fabric I used last year, cut it to size and swagged it from the ceiling from the front door back to the entryway to the den. The approach this year is a little different, since our entryway isn't as long as the old house and I figured I could repurpose some of the cloth for the windows. Once that was sufficiently draped, I took the remaining portion of the cloth and cut it to size to fit over the front window closest to the door, so the front of the house looks like a crime scene. I started using the pieces of recently purchased faux-rotted cloth to box in the entryway some, creating a rectangular space that I moved a table from the den into. The table was then draped with more cloth and bloody gauze to distract from its waxed sheen. I collected a few odds and ends from the soon to be library in the back of the house, some quasi-cheesy wrought iron candle holders with the appropriately messy wax dripped all over them, several skulls of varying sizes and a Hellraiser Lament Configuration (puzzlebox for you non horror-nerds reading this) to be strewn about the table.

I had bought an assortment of variously sized skulls this year, which I arranged more carefully than I care to admit in a large glass urn, topping it off with a life-sized one that sits in greeting for guests. I also had a little bag of bones to scatter around for more of a TCM discarded carcass vibe. All of this was done in an effort to distract from the fact that the walls of the entryway are a bright yellow color, which doesn;t make fro a very creepy canvas on which to work.

Satisfied with the final product, I took the dog for a little walk, making a lap about four blocks down and back.

The wife was on the phone fielding some calls regarding a couple of charity things, so I popped in Silver Bullet, one of those weird guilty pleasure movies that I can't seem to get away from. I know the movie is heavily flawed, but I still enjoy it. How can you not love a drunken Gary Busey blurting out lines like "I'm a little too old to be playing Hardy Boys meet Reverend Werewolf!"? The wife joined me a little ways into the flick, fished in by the Haimster like any good child of the 80's.

She actually napped while I watched some television after the movie, and we ended up getting into a stupid argument when she woke up, presumably because I was feeling irritable for no real reason. Thankfully this was quickly smoothed over, because why the fuck would I try to stay mad at the person I spend about 90% of my time with?

We had a late supper and then called it a night soon afterward.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! iPod, Night Of The Living Podcast, DVD, Movies, Daywatch, Nightwatch, Decorating, Halloween, Silver Bullet, Gary Busey, Corey Haim

All's Well That Ends Well

I slept later than I intended to this morning, got up and checked e-mail while the wife caught me up in her day thus far. She had been up bright and early, actually out of the house and running errands while I snored, which is a weird flip from our early time in the relationship. I used to always leave her and the dog asleep when headed out to work back when I had a 'real' job, now the opposite seems to happen more often than not.

Weird.

She had a luncheon to attend, so I sent her on her way and popped in the iPod so I could get to work. I listened to the newest (Cool) Shite On The Tube, which gave a surprisingly optimistic review of the latest Resident Evil film, and the latest Destroy The Brain. I prepped the second project for graphing completely and got started on the first one, getting about a 1000 feet into it before the eyes were feeling the strain. The wife was home by this time, so I visited with her for awhile and left her shopping the web while the Yorkie and I took an afternoon jaunt.

I'm trying to turn over a new doggie parent leaf, what can I say? Bella seemed to really enjoy her outing, although we had a moment of alarm when a nest of streamers tied to a telephone pole fluttered in the breeze and she thought she was under attack.

I hadn't really eaten anything by this stage of the day, so when we got home I checked witht he wife and then called in an order for some Thai food. I went to pick up the food, making a side trip to the post office to mail a few things that I hadn't had a chance to catch our mailman with.

I ate my late lunch and popped in the last thing we had laying around from those rental throttling pricks at Netfux.

Believers is directed by Daniel Myrick (of Blair Witch fame) and concerns two EMT who answer a call at a remote gas station where a woman has passed out. When they arrive the woman is in cardiac arrest, and as they try to save her a truck full of armed men shows up and takes the woman, her daughter and the EMT's back to the strange underground bunker where they are staying. Members of a cult who believe that the end of the world is nigh, they are determined to convert the EMT's before the morning, when they have plans to shake off this mortal coil themselves. It was a pretty interesting take on the fanatical cult idea, but it is somewhat predictable, so it might rub some people the wrong way. I'm going to try and write a full review for the BSL (which is recently updated, BTW) later in the week, though I don't know that there's a lot to say beyond the bare-bones description above. A decent flick, but I can see why it would put some viewers off.

We snacked on this or that instead of having an actual meal for dinner, especially since I ate lunch so late and settled in to watch some television for the evening.

Heroes had a little more to offer me this week by way of Claire's dad being more of the super-spy badass type that we see now and again from him. I think I like him the most when he's being a cold-blooded bastard. Oh, and those damned South American kids finally got across the border into the US, which has felt like they were filming it in realtime because it's taken so fucking long.

Californication ended its season with a bang, and I absolutely loved it, check the show out if you get the chance. I think the biggest selling point for the series has been the sustained amount of vulgarity that is balanced with an equally sincere amount of heart from the characters. No matter how lost and aimless Hank's character has been throughout the season, the love he felt for Karen has always been apparent, and as she prepares to marry her current lover, your heart breaks for him even if he is a giant asshole a lot of the time. I think that's been an underlying selling point of the series as well, the melancholy of things, knowing that it's easy to not appreciate what you have and not realizing it until it's too late. It certainly makes me cherish the wife more and want to make sure she knows how much she means to me.

A great series, I can't wait to see it on DVD and watch it in a little marathon.

I'm out.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! iPod, Cool Shite On The Tube, Resident Evil Extinction, Destroy The Brain, Yorkie, Netflix, Movies, Believers, Daniel Myrick, Blair Witch, Television, Heroes, Californication

Cinematic Sunday Thirteen

The wife was already up and running this morning when I finally got out of bed, and she and the Yorkie approached me about an outing I'd made noise about taking today. The dog has seemed pretty bored around the house lately, so I had mentioned that we should take her for a walk, something we rarely do, because we're kinda lousy dog parents.

We took a pretty decent little jaunt (for the dog's little legs, anyway), walking about six blocks to a park and making a lap around it before coming home. I made breakfast while the wife started a load of laundry. We ate and gave the dog a few nibbles, then hit the couch for a leisurely afternoon. I flipped through the paper while we watched some television left over from earlier in the week, including a new 30 Rock, then decided to pop in a movie from those rental throttling pricks at Netfux.

Return To House On Haunted Hill was a straight to video sequel to the 1999 re-make, which a lot of people hated. Swimming upstream as always, it was a flick I kinda enjoyed, at least up until the evil starts boiling out of the walls and the CGI bullshit takes over in the third act. The sequel basically shoves a mythical idol into the setting of the haunted house, which lures an assortment of people there in pursuit of this statue. The statue it turns out is the source of all the evil that's been keeping the ghosts trapped in the house and pissed off all these years.

As sequels go it's somewhat pointless overall, but has some decent moments.

Our friend Brian came by and hung out for awhile, he'd been out of town for a week or so, so we had a lot to shoot the shit about.

After he split we popped in Jason X, a much reviled entry in the Friday The 13th series that I quite enjoyed when I caught it on cable years back. I'd bought it when I ran across it for around $4.00 awhile back, and since the wife seems to get into the cheesier stuff pretty easy, I though this would be a good call. It was as I remembered it, a silly movie with a few interesting kills that puts Jason into the future wreaking havoc on a space ship. It a fun film that doesn't take itself seriously at all, which I suppose is probably why so many people hate it.

We ordered in some dinner and watched our customary Sunday night shows, Desperate Housewives and then Dexter before calling it a night.

The trailer hunt is getting a little slim of late, but here's what I turned up that I think may or may not be interesting.

I notice that the horror genre is definitely petering out for the year in favor of more family fare, but I was able to turn up this trailer that's been around for a month or so. A thriller called P2, which stars Wes Bentley as a creepy garage attendant who stalks and captures Rachel Nichols when she's stuck working late on Christmas Eve. I don't know that there's anything truly extraordinary here, but it looks interesting enough, as the average thriller fare goes.



Here's the trailer for this year's After Dark Horrorfest, which I guess will showcase 8 more fair to middling genre films, if they run true to last year's quality of lineup. God bless 'em for doing what they can for the genre as a whole, but only one of the films from last year was truly extraordinary and the rest that I have seen at this stage were okay to downright stupid.

Here's the teaser which features images from all the films in question for this year, hit the link above for more info about individual movies, and the festival itself happens November 9 - 18:



Finally, I'll close with an English trailer for a French horror/fantasy film called Eden Log, directed by Franck Vestiel. The story of a man who awakes, suffering amnesia next to a man's body in a cave. Pursued by an unknown creature, he is forced to try to understand whatever has happened to him while on the run.



I'm out kids, there'll be work to do tomorrow.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Yorkie, Television, 30 Rock, Movies, Return To House On Haunted Hill, Jason X, Desperate Housewives, Dexter, Trailers, P2, Rachel Nichols, Wes Bentley, After Dark Horrorfest, Eden Log, Franck Vestiel

Workday, Television And Dinner...Oh, My.

I slept in again, the wife was showering and getting dressed when I finally let the dog's persistent nuzzling at my hand wake me. The wife had made some coffee, so I tried the new flavor of Coffeemate we'd bought yesterday and tried to wake up.

I checked e-mail and goofed around on the computer while the wife prepared for a baby shower she was helping to host in the early afternoon. I popped in the earbuds and listened to the newest Mondo Movie Podcast while I started prepping the next project. The wife came through and we paused to eat some leftovers together, and then I kissed her goodbye and sent her on her way.

I worked for about two hours, finishing the entire project, which is now ready to graph. I considered starting the second one as well, but instead decided to rest the eyes and played with the Yorkie for a bit, who was taking the long boring day like a trooper, then I hopped back online and wrote a couple reviews to send to Skincarver for the BSL, which has actually been getting updated quasi-regularly again.

I watched a bit of television in the afternoon while waiting for the wife to return from her thing, she chilled with me when she returned and then we headed to Odessa to have dinner with Macguffin and Blancodeviosa. Blanco was kind enough to cook, making a great stuffed pasta, salad and blackberry cobbler. We ate with them and the kids, then the kids made themselves scarce and the old folks chilled out and visited for an hour and change before calling it a night.

I'm beat for no apparent reason.

I'm taking the easy way out and just using a YouTube clip as a little Seasonal space filler:



Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Podcasts, Mondo Movie, Yorkie, Big Suck Loser, Dinner, Music, Marilyn Manson, The Nightmare Before Christmas

The Mother In Law: Amusing Blog Fodder Or Frustrating Ordeal?

Sweet Lord, what a strange day.

I slept in, despite to usual carrying on from the Yorkie while the lawn guys did their thing. The wife was in the process of sorting stuff in the office area, which has been slightly junked up since we moved in. We visited for awhile and then I did some sorting of my own, checked e-mail and payed a bill online, then sorted through a few things that had piled up during the week. I balanced the checkbook, filed away bills, all the things that are easily put off until they pile up, then took a shower and got dressed to meet the day.

The wife and I had lunch and then headed back to the house, the weird x-factor of the afternoon being the Mother In Law. She had asked if K would go with her when she went grocery shopping, something we'd been planning to do today. The wrinkle in this plan was that Grandmother needed the MIL to take her to return some clothes because the world would end if she didn't get a pair of slacks exchanged right Goddamned now. I was a little miffed with this whole 'wait and see' plan because we're out of a lot of stuff around the house, and if the whole grocery run gets pushed back until the weekend, we won't have anything to drink, or creamer for the coffee, weird little inconveniences like that.

The MIL got Grandmother taken care of and dropped by our house to pick up K for the grocery run. Since they were planning to go to the closest store instead of the one that's currently in the process of remodeling (and is consequently a total clusterfuck to deal with), I decided to tag along and help out, because the shopping would be quick and easy at this smaller store that the MIL was more familiar with the layout of.

This turned out to be something of a mistake.

The wife and I never shop this store, even though it is actually closer to us than the place we usually go. This is because the store has a pretty limited selection and is kind of a pain to navigate because most of their clientele seem to be on the elderly side, who appear to not care if they ever leave the store, making a timely shopping experience a pain in the ass.

K and I made our way through the store, deftly avoiding the elderly and gathered our small list of items. Then we doubled back to see how the MIL was doing with her list. We proceeded to trail behind her up and down each and every remaining aisle in the store looking for this or that, with the MIL making noise occasionally about taking us to dinner for our trouble. Having just had lunch about 2 hours earlier, I thought this was a crazy idea, but kept quiet, trying instead to help her find that elusive brand of cereal that only she and about four other people on the face of the planet still eat.

We finally got everything she had on her long and involved list, then got into seperate check-out lines. We of course finished first, but had no keys (since we're in her car) so we waited for her to to get through her line. The wife actually walked over and helped her unload her stuff onto the little conveyor belt, while the MIL exchanged life stories with the cashier for no apparent reason. She also made certian the bag boy itemized her stuff into paper bags for the perishable items so that the unloading process at the house would be easier, as the dry goods in the plastic bags can wait to be put into the pantry, but the ice-cream can't be ignored. While this process went on for what felt like weeks, I noticed that the cashier at the next lane over had completely stopped scanning items and was talking at length to her customer about a fudge recipe, while the guy behind her stood patiently by as though this were the normal operating procedure.

Am I crazy, or would the average person, when confronted by the option of a timely check-out or cooling their heels while the cashier dictates her life story or waxes poetic about culinary adventures not just start screaming at people? I must be a total asshole, because if I'd been nehind either of those people I would've probably had an embolism.

A full ten minutes and two baskets of stuff later, the MIL is finally finished and we headed out to her car, with me pushing a third buggy full of our meager purchases bringing up the rear. I loaded our stuff into the back seat with K while two bag boys tried in vain to stick all of her shit into the trunk of the car. I ended up loading three of her bags into the back seat with our stuff just to expedite things and get the hell out of there. Once we got on the road it finally dawns on me that it's after six o'clock and we actually could go to eat supper at this time. In a possibly related matter, I also note that I now have a headache, either from not eating in a timely manner or from realizing that the MIL lives alone and has just bought twice the amount of shit we have for no apparent reason.

She maintains that it's because 'we' need to have a lot of staples around if 'we' decide that 'we' want to go 'in there' and cook, which I guess means that she's planning some family dinners in the near future, because there's no real 'we' to be referring to unless she has a mouse in her pocket or something.

We stopped at our house and unloaded our stuff, taking time to put away all the perishable stuff, then we headed to the MIL's house and unloaded her stuff. She somehow manages to disappear for the majority of the unloading period, although I did see her come in with the bagged outfit she bought while out with Grandmother earlier in the day. While the wife put stuff away, I unloaded shit and groused about how happy I was that the outfit wasn't going to spoil since she was taking care to put it away.

Grr.

We headed back out and had dinner, which was decent and then the MIL dropped us back at the house and the whole thing was finally over.

We watched a little television and then called it a night.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Groceries, Shopping, Annoyance, Frustration, Family, Dinner, Shoot Me

The House Is Base! The Outdoors Are Lava!

I holed up in the house like a reclusive hermit today once I got a single errand run, and holy shit it was nice. Howard Hughes may have been on to something.

I made a point of being up early this morning, leaving the wife sleeping while I dressed and got ready to see the bossman before he went out of town. I called him around 8:45, thinking I should try to get ahold of him by 9:00 at the latest, since he'd said that he was leaving at 10:00. I got his machine, which was par for the course since he said he had stuff he had to do this morning. I left a message and watched whatever the TiVo was suggesting for a little bit, then realized it'd been 30 minutes already, so I decided to give him another shot in case he's not checking the machine as religiously as he should be.

I get the machine again, but don't bother to leave a message. I got his wife on the phone a bit later, who assured me that he'd call back when he got home. This woman may very well hate me, as I picture her igonoring the phone because it's not for her until she answers in a fit of annoyance. The bossman finally calls about fifteen minutes later and tells me he is trying to leave in another fifteen minutes, which makes the five minute proximity to his house key in this working 'relationship' we seem to have.

I head over there, he is as rushed as I'd anticipated, so he glances at the two finished projects, writes me a check, hands me another two things to work on and I show myself to the door as he himself is picking up luggage to carry to their vehicle.

I hit the bank, make my deposit and then drive through Starbucks for some coffe for myself and hot chocolate for the wife. I wanted a cinnamon roll to split with the wife but so did every other asshole in town apparently, as they're sold out.

I take the wife her tasty beverage and we visit for awhile, then she leaves for a meeting and I chill on the couch and kinda doze through some television. I don't know what my problem is lately, I'm actually making a point of taking vitamins again and my energy level has actually dropped, I don't know what the deal is with that.

The wife calls for my lunch request on the way back from her meeting. She hits a drive thru and we're eating as the Mother In Law arrives at our house, as she and K have plans to go run around this afternoon. They invite me, but I beg off, as shoe shopping and a possible pedicure far outweigh the Barnes & Noble visit that might interest me on their itinerary.

I spend a little time with about 20 minutes of Razor Blade Smile, then decide to come back to it when I have more energy to devote to it. I spend almost two hours online just dicking around looking at different movie sites until I finally decide to admit defeat and take the nap that I've been wanting to for most of the day. I sleep about an hour before the wife's arrival back at the house wakes me, and she actually lays down herself while I watch some television. I eventually brave the rest of Razor Blade Smile, which I'd wanted to see because I liked the director's film Evil Aliens quite a bit, but the whole experience with the vamps was just kinda underwhelming, it has a few funny moments, but overall the acting is poor enough to be distracting. It's stylish, but it's too little, too late for me to really get into it very much.

The wife gets up, I make us some dinner and then we watch the usual Thursday night fare, My Name Is Earl, The Office and a TiVo'd Ghost Hunters that actually covered a place in Arkansas that the wife was familiar with, the Crescent Hotel in Eureka Springs.

The wife headed off to bed and I off to the web, hunting and pecking as I go.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Bossman, Frustration, Movies, Razor Blade Smile, Jake West, Evil Aliens, Television, TiVo, My Name Is Earl, The Office, Ghost Hunters, Crescent Hotel, Eureka Springs

The Eyes Have Had It

Today was quite the adventure, all from the comfort of my kitchen table, because it involved dealing with the bossman.

He's just such an awkward man to deal with, in that he never says exactly what he means, which I personally think comes from working alone at home as much as he does. This is also precisely why I make it a point to leave the house periodically and mingle with the humans so I don't become so socially retarded that I can't speak to people clearly when the occasion arises.

The man calls me out of the blue this morning, to let me know that he's going out of town over the weekend, leaving Thursday morning. Not necessarily to pressure me about the stuff I'm working on, but just to let me know he'll be unavailable for a short while. I ask about dropping stuff off to him this afternoon, he says that he'll be out of town for the afternoon, getting back in the early evening.

Or, he suggests, he'll be available until around ten Thursday morning, which I decide in the back of my mind sounds the safest, as he'll be in a hurry to get gone and won't wanna chit-chat. I worked most of the morning and afternoon, finished both projects, and then called him to see when would be the most convenient time for me to drop things off, which he'd also suggested doing, just calling when I was finished with stuff, regardless of the tim ehe would be gone.

I got his wife on the phone (who honestly may be every bit as squirrelly as her husband), as I had to repeat his name to her twice when I asked to speak to him, as if they haven't been married 35 fucking years or so, only to find out that he wasn't back yet. I asked if she could have him call me back and got off the phone.

The man calls back an hour or more later, around 8:00 this evening, and when I said I would like to try and see him at 9:00 tomorrow morning he balked at the time, asking if I didn't want to do it this evening. I let him know that I was kinda in for the night, but if I needed to I could drop by, but he immediately backtracks, requesting that I call before coming over because he has some chores to do in the morning before they leave. I can only assume he wants to make sure I don't interrupt his schedule of carrying out the garbage by showing up unannounced. This rigamarole wouldn't have annoyed me if he himself hadn't brought up the option of seeing him tomorrow morning instead when we spoke earlier today.

Bah.

I got a shitload of work done, but man are my eyes tired. While doing my thing I listened to the newest Night Of The Living Podcast, a new Cool Shite On The Tube, the latest Dead Lantern Splattercast, even a new Rue Morgue Radio because damned if I wasn't a busy little beaver.

I paused every few hours or so to rest the eyes, wrote something else for the BSL, and even took the time to watch the Scream Awards which TiVo had grabbed last night. It was about as silly as it was last year, but what the hell, it's not as if any of the horror stuff I enjoy is ever going to turn up at the Oscars, so it's nice to see them get their own night, even if it is a 'preaching to the choir' kind of situation.

The wife had an evening meeting, so I chilled on the couch with the Yorkie and dozed through some television, resting the trembling eyebulbs for an hour or so. Once the wife got home with some take out, we ate and watched an episode of Ghost Hunters before calling it a night.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Bossman, Workday, Podcasts, Night Of The Living Podcast, Dead Lantern Splattercast, Rue Morgue Radio, Television, Scream Awards, Ghost Hunters

Why Did It Have To Be Weinerdog?

Today was a good day.

The wife was off early to run errands and go to a meeting, I got dressed, fed the dog and got together a little shopping list for a few things I wanted to go and pick up while I was out of the house.

I hit a couple stores to pick up a handful of DVD's that were on sale for $4.99 apiece, then gave Robbb a call to see if he wanted to have a quick bite before I headed home. He was agreeable, but needed a few minutes to shower, so I drove through Starbucks to get some coffee and called Macguffin to chat while I killed time.

Once I met Robbb at his place we took a moment to check out some of his recent art, which made me miss drawing a bit myself, and then we headed to a restaurant to met the wife for lunch. K was between errands/meetings and met us for Chinese. Robbb had to run by his place of employment for whatever reason, so we said our goodbyes and I headed home while the wife went to hit the post office and a few other places.

Back at the house I unloaded my purchases and started working on the current project, popping in the iPod to catch up on a few of the shows. I listened to a new Reel Horror Podcast which had a favorable review for Severance, a film which I like quite a bit. I also listened to last Friday's film reviews from Mark Kermode and the latest Destroy The Brain, which is ramping up for a big Halloween-themed music episode next week, which I'm looking forward to. During this time I got a lot of work done, pausing only to assemble a tabletop magnifying glass the wife bought for me, which was super cool of her. Up to this point I'd been just using a small handheld magnifying glass when squinting at the measurements, which was a little complicated when trying to manage a pencil, the measuring strip and the glass all at the same time whilst marking down stuff on the graph paper. I had a great productive run once I got used to the new glass, I can't imagine why it took so long to try something different.

I knocked off around 5-something, checked e-mail and wrote a review for the BSL. The wife came home around this time from her last meeting and we ordered a pizza and chilled out to watch a movie.

I was stunned that Hostel: Part II was a pretty decent movie. Seriously, I blind-bought the first one, have watched it twice and still don't think it's a very good film. The story is too uneven, I absolutely hated the characters across the board and aside from the sheer wincing factors of the torture, I wouldn't say that there's anything very noteworthy about the flick. This time around, we follow female tourists who are lured to the hostel, but we also see the operation from the side of the people who are willing to pay large amount of money to kill someone, which adds an interesting layer to the film. I was actually interested in what happens to these women and the motivations of the people on the other end of the knife, this film fleshed out the situations only hinted at in the first film very well. I was kinda weirded out to see Welcome To The Dollhouse's Heather Matarazzo (yep, old Weinerdog herself) trussed up naked in the film, it was like seeing a cousin naked or something, it just made me uncomfortable. I'd actually recommend a rental of Hostel: Part II, which surprises me most of all.

We also watched the TiVo'd Sleepaway Camp, which I had never seen but already knew the climax to, so most of the fun there was watching the 80's era cliches do their thing. Holy shit, were the male fashions questionable during that era, we spent half the film laughing our asses off at the half-shirts alone. I've seen less men in short-shorts in a gay bar on a Saturday night than there were in this film, Lord Almighty, it was creepy.

I'm out kids, I wanna be up early to get a good star on the graphs tomorrow.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Lunch, Shopping, Podcasts, Reel Horror Podcast, Mark Kermode, Destroy The Brain, Movies, Hostel Part II, Heather Matarazzo, Sleepaway Camp

Close, But No Cigar

I came so close to getting stuff done today, so very, very close...

Last night I went to bed (actually a bit earlier than my current norm) around 1:00 AM, read for about 30 minutes and then tried to go to sleep. I don't ever have any problem sleeping, I drop off immediately, but last night...no dice.

I gave up on trying to sleep after about thirty minutes of tossing and turning, guessing that I felt somehow guilty for not getting more done last week. I went to the kitchen table and worked until four in the morning, listening to the rest of last week's Night Of The Living Podcast and the latest Stomp Tokyo while I did. I also listened to a podcast from Ricky Gervais with his writing partner Steve Merchant that had me near weeping with laughter. Noting the time I decided to give the bed another shot because I know I can usually get by with five or six hours of down time.

I was finally able to get to sleep, got up five hours later with the alarm and checked e-mail. The wife was stirring and I started back in with the graphs and actually finished the first project. I decided not to ink it yet and instead dove into the next one just to try and keep the momentum up. The next one is every bit as complicated and time consuming as I feared, and I only got about a 1000 feet of it finished before lunch.

I listened to a new CHUD Show at long last, and a couple things from the Subculture Collective feed while I worked. The glass guy came to replace the back door that the previous owners dog had scratched up, and when I say scratched up, I mean it looked like tender young children had stood in front of it teasing Freddy for hours on end, it was really fuckin' scratched. The glass guy took awhile to get the thing replaced, to much consternation from the Yorkie, but he finally finished while the wife was gone picking up some lunch.

We ate and I had a panicked moment when I realized that the day was getting away from me and I had only 30 minutes before I had to visit the orthodontist across town so he could find some new way to cause me pain. I put drops in my tired eyes and hopped in the shower, then headed across town. The teeth are in motion as they should be; they swapped a few of the rubber band chain things out and I left with a slight headache building.

I had a pretty decent headache by the time I got home, so I took time away from the graphs and sat down on the couch intending to possibly catch a catnap and rest the eyes, but A History Of Violence was coming on cable and I got fished into that before I knew what was happening, and ended up watching the whole damned thing.

Afterwards I hopped online and wrote a review for the old BSL, which has a couple of new things up for those of you who care, and then the wife and I settled into the usual Monday night television routine of the prickteasing super-soap that is Heroes and the now customarily depressing but excellent Californication.

I have a weird feeling like I accomplished nothing today, although I committed to and worked at a pretty decent clip for most of the day until the head and eye strain drove me away from it. It's just weird to me to be fairly busy most of the day and still end things feeling useless.

This must be what it feels like to be a politician.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Insomnia, Podcasts, Night Of The Living Podcast, Stomp Tokyo, Ricky Gervais, Workday, CHUD Show, Subculture Collective, Orthondontist, Movies, A History Of Violence, Big Suck Loser, Television, Heroes, Californication

Cinematic Sunday Twelve

The wife and I woke mid-morning, I checked e-mail while she made some coffee. We switched it up a bit and she played around online for awhile and I made breakfast, then we ate and dodged pleas for tidbits from the Yorkie, scratching around at our feet.

The day passed uneventfully, although a balancing of my checkbook confirmed my fears that I have been dicking around too much the past week and need to get some money in the bank. I think the current stumbling block has been that the two projects I have to work on right now are both more involved than they usually are and will take more concentration, which has made them easier to put off.

The wife started a roast for supper mid-afternoon, leaving the house with a great smell for most of the day. We chilled on the couch and watched Mad Monster Party, the classic Rankin Bass film done in the style of those Frosty The Snowman and Rudolph specials we all remember. It stars Boris Karloff as the voice of Dr.Frankenstein, and has Phyllis Diller in a supporting role as the creatures' bride. Whoever thought she should sing is very wrong, yeesh.

Catching up on some trash television, we watched Hotel Babylon and then the wife napped a bit while I decided to dust off the Wii and play some tennis. I got my ass handed to me about 7 times in a row, proving that if you don't use it you definitely lose it. I finally won a few games and called it quits before I managed to dislocate an elbow or something.

We had dinner and watched a random episode of C.S.I. while waiting for Dexter to come on, wacthing it in the bedroom while TiVo was busy in the den. I have to say that I'm happy that they seem to have found their stride with this season, and I really enjoyed the episode, with a few decent subplots introduced for the peripheral characters.

Back in the den we dove into the recently TiVo'd Desperate Housewives, which was more of the same twists and turns and me wanting to beat Teri Hatcher's Susan character with a pipe for being so fucking stupid when dealing with her new neighbors.

The Sarah Silverman Program was in mid-record, so we went ahead and watched it. Pretty outrageous stuff with her running around in fucking black-face of all things, complete with checkered kerchief on her head like an old maid in the deep South. I have to say that I'm glad they seem to be shying away from all the singing bullshit that took up a lot of space in last season's episodes and left me kinda cold after awhile.

The wife headed to bed and I started trolling the web for a few trailers, let's see what turned up, shall we?

First up we have something I'd meant to check out for awhile now and never got around to in my interweb meanderings. This is the first in a series of shorts that serve as a prequel to the 30 Days Of Night film currently in theaters. They were produced for FearNet and apparently each run about 5 minutes in length, with a total of seven in all that make up one short storyline leading into the events of the movie. Check out Blood Trails:



The Coen Brothers have a new film coming out next month, which I wouldn't have known about if Ellen Aim hadn't mentioned over at her place. I actually found a red band trailer, which I believe just shows a bit more blood than the regular one. No Country For Old Men is based on a novel I've not read, but looks to be a lot closer to their Blood Simple days than their quirky comedies we've seen more recently.



I'm closing tonight with a music video rather than another trailer because I just ran across this and it's my favorite song off of a compilation CD I used to listen to a lot back in the flower shop days. The group's a psychobilly outfit out of California called The Rocketz and the song's a catchy little number called K.I.L.L.I.N.G.



I'm out kids.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Movies, Mad Monster Party, Television, Hotel Babylon, Dexter, Desperate Housewives, Sarah Silverman, Trailers, 30 Days Of Night, Blood Trails, FearNet, Coen Brothers, No Country For Old Men, Music, The Rocketz, K.I.L.L.I.N.G.

Big Brother Could Be Watching

I got a strange anonymous comment on a post from a few days back, from someone who identified himself not with a Blogger handle, but a Suddenlink e-mail address, who apparently wants me to get in touch with him so that we can fix whatever went wrong with our service.

Obviously, the best way to get a faceless company in touch with you is to make potentially libelous statements in print on the web and wait for action.

I've vented about what has pissed me off over the week, the service is fine now, I probably won't be contacting him, because what's the best that can come from it? He refunds us $8.37 or whatever the pro-rated service for the two lost days would be and apologizes? Frankly I can't see it being worth my time, although I suppose I do appreciate the fact that they have someone trolling the web for negative connections being made to their name, as they at least appear to care about public perception more than I would have guessed earlier in the week.

The wife and I took the Mother In Law to one of the nephew's football games this afternoon, which was an interesting experience having never played a sport in my life (nor ever caring to), what with the coaches yelling at the kids to pump them up, etc. The parents around us shouting things like "if you hit them hard they won't be running as fast when they come back" really made me wanna get into the spirit of things and start shouting shit like Flanders did in that old miniature golf episode of The Simpsons: "Mercy is for the weak Todd!"

Y'know, just to try and fit in.

We met Brian for lunch afterwards, did a bit of shopping and then chilled at the MIL's house for awhile visiting.

Brian split and we headed home, I did some laundry and played around online while the wife caught a nap. I also started looking over the Halloween decorations, trying to get the logistics of the doorway decorations together in my head. I started taking all the stuff out of the packaging and kinda laying it out on the floor to see if the areas I wanted covered with 'rotted' cloth would be properly covered. Satisfied that this was going to work for me with a few minor tweaks, I started packing it all away for the next week or so.

The wife and I watched another flick off the TiVo, since I've gotten it in my head that I want to clear everything off it for once and see what it records of it's own free will. I mean, there'll still be the weekly shows going on there via the season pass stuff, but I'm trying to shy away from loading it up with movies that it's going to take me months in some cases to get around to watching.

Ghost Story was alright, the story never really got creepy for me, but the actors were convincing enough. Okay, they were convincing enough until we get a long flashback sequence near the third act which shows what happened to the ghost in the first place that features some high-pitched nelly laughter from a couple of guys that had me wondering aloud "Are we sure those tow are straight?" Alice Krige is cute and frequently naked while playing several roles, so the film has that going for it. I think I enjoy her because she reminds me of the Bree character on the Housewives...

We called it a night, the wife settled in to watch The Birds on AMC in the bedroom and I headed off to the interweb.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Surprise, Cable, Personal, Errands, Halloween, Movies, Ghost Story, Alice Krige

Nothing Accomplished

This has been, according to the wife, the most unproductive week ever. I'd have to agree, since I got about maybe four hours of work done this week when I expected to completely finish two different projects.

Bah, it's Friday, we both decided to fuck off, go have lunch and then see a movie.

30 Days Of Night was pretty awesome kids, the wife being cool enough to check it out with me for the early matinee. I truly think I have warped her tastes to the point that she looks forward to this type of film. The vamps are lithe, feral monsters who snap and claw at their prey in a manner similar to the creatures from Neil Marshall's The Descent, rather than the martial arts trained ninjas from things like Buffy or Underworld. The only thing I'd honestly critique about the creature design would possibly be that the narrow-set eyes of most of the vampires almost gives them a weird Wrong Turn/Hills Have Eyes/Deliverance kinda vibe as though their family tree never forked, if you catch my drift...

The movie was way cool, give it a shot in the theater if you can so we can all be goulish and gear up for the release of Saw IV next week.

After the movie we headed back home, the wife crashed in the bedroom for awhile and I wrote a couple things for the Big Suck Loser to hopefully keep that alive for a few more weeks.

We watched a couple episodes of the Ace Of Cakes on the TiVo, and then the wife asked a question I'd been dreading for awhile.

"So, what's Pyrokinesis?"

"Um, yeah...it's a movie I TiVo'd back in February and have yet to have any inclination to watch."

After some much deserved ribbing about it, we decided to give that sucker a day in court, and man was it a slow moving train. The general idea is that a woman has the pyrokinesis powers, meets a potential beau, befriends his kid sister, only to have the sis get killed by a gang making a snuff film. She uses her powers to take revenge on the gang and opens a whole new can of worms that involves others with their own types of ESP-based powers and implicates senior police officers in a conspiracy. All in all it felt like a super-long, subtitled version of Heroes that I could have totally lived without seeing. Not at all what I was expecting (I had something more along the short and sweet pacing of Firestarter in mind rather than this convoluted affair) and certianly not worth wasting space on the TiVo for the better part of seven months.

I'm out kids, there's not a lot going on here and I may bug out early and get some reading done for a change.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Unproductive, Movies, 30 Days Of Night, Saw IV, Big Suck Loser, TiVo, Pryokinesis

Suddenlink Communications Sucks

Or at least that's been my experience over the past few days.

The bottom line of the whole cable experience over the past two days has been that these fuckers have lied to us on at least two different occasions and that their customer service is in their ass.

Oh, and they turned off our cable for no apparent reason Tuesday morning, that's been the pesky problem these past two days.

Yes, that's right, the cable was turned off at the pole for no reason at all, that's what we found out today when the cable guy finally wandered by in the early afternoon, did whatever he does and then called me to ask if I could turn on the television and make sure that it was working now. So when I called them and they said they'd be out the next day (Wednesday) between 12:00 and 2:30, that was lie number one, then when they assured me after 4:00 PM Wednesday afternoon that they'd be out that day, that would be lie number two. They then left a message on our machine saying that they'd be out for the scheduled appointment Thursday afternoon at the same time, which I suppose means that they can wriggle out of lie number one when they just magically re-schedule it.

I was so pissed that I asked the wife to call them about the billing and see what the deal was, because by this point I didn't think I could talk to anyone without letting the expletives fly. One of us needed to inquire as to what they planned to do about the two days worth of their service we'd been screwed out of by their clerical error or whatever the hell happened to cause someone from their end to drive down the alley and pull the plug on Tuesday morning.

The wife bit the bullet, God bless her, took a deep breath and gave them a call, then spent a good amount of time on the phone before hanging up on the perma-hold they left her on when she asked what they were going to do about the fact that they'd screwed us completely with no explanation so far except 'whoops'.

We called the day a draw, and headed to the grocery store, which is still remodeling and was a complete clusterfuck, just like the rest of the week has been.

We headed home and got the groceries unloaded and put away pretty quickly. I tried to get caught up on the writing in the office while the wife started a casserole and some cookies for supper. We ate and watched some television before calling it a night.

The weird thing about today was a conversation that the wife and I had about a friend of ours who works for the appraisal district. He has a company vehicle parked in front of his house and went out yesterday morning to find that someone left a freshly killed rabbit on the hood. When he told his boss about it, the boss said that his own company vehicle has been vandalized several times, presumably by angry taxpayers.

With empty, futile gestures like that being made, why hasn't anyone set fire to a cable van when they found it sitting idle? I mean seriously, I can't imagine anything beyond terminal diseases that can match the hopeless frustration one gets when fighting with faceless phonebanks that do nothing except keep you from the humans working at a company like this. The only other option is switching service to the one other company in town and let them hose us for awhile, or really teach them a lesson and go with a dish service, which has no local service that I'm aware of...yeah, that'd show 'em, right?

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Annoyance, Bitching, Suddenlink Sucks, Cable, Frustration, Shitty Service, Grocery Shopping

Urge To Kill Rising...

Cable still completely borked.

More later.

Be seeing you.

*******EDIT: The next portion was written on October 18th**********

I honestly don't recall a lot about what happened on Wednesday, save for the fact that I worked a little in the morning and early afternoon, waiting for the cable guy to call me, since he was scheduled for the customary 12:00 to 2:30 PM. Around 2:30 I called the cable folks, who assured me that the cable man "has to clear his work orders for the day, he has to come by, and is just running late." This sounds like a lot of bullshit, because what if the dude is in someone's attic until 6:30 in the evening? He grabs a burger and drives to my place next?

Sheeit.

Dubious as to whether or not this will actually happen, as I've never seen a cable van in front of anyone's house at 8:30 at night, I hang up hoping for the best but doubting that this will happen.

I of course never hear from the cable people, the wife and I have dinner with her family over at the Mother In Law's house and then head home. There's a message from the fucksticks at the cable company allegedly reminding us of our scheduled appointment for Thursday between 12:00 and 2:30, which has now been magically pushed back a day without our knowledge or approval.

The wife and I watch four movies and then go to bed. I'm so annoyed at the situation with the cable that I won't even bother to talk about anything here, I want to try to do some reviews for the BSL, as most everything we've watched recently has been horror related.

I'm out.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Annoyance, Bitching, Frustration, Cable, Suddenlink Sucks, Shitty Customer Service

Why Am I Not Surprised?

The cable connections are completely fucked, more when this issue is actually resolved.

I have a hilariously dirty lunch story that I can't wait to get into print.

Be seeing you.

*****Edit: The next portion was written on October 18th*****

Okay, since most of the zest for life has been sucked out of me for these past few days worth of catch up posts, here's what I hope is a decent approximation of the lunch story and not much else, since I have some catching up to do this evening.

I drove to Odessa today to visit with the Macguffin, have some lunch and maybe do some running around while some painting he was doing around the hosue dried.

We headed out to a specific Mexican place that he knew I was fond of, as the spinach stuffed chicken boobs were calling my name. We arrived in the middle of the noon hour, but were seated fairly quickly, making the mistake of asking for a booth rather than a table.

We of course didn't realize what a mistake it was until we sat down near the table full of six women and a smaller child, all of whom were carrying on at the full volume normally reserved for drunks at a Denny's at 3:30 in the AM. We placed a drink order, and I'm not sure which one of us noticed the topic of conversation first (or honestly even what that topic was, as it seemd to veer around all things inappropriate and scatalogical), but we definitely noticed the volume of the table, immediately doing that pantomime "Come again?" type shit and amusing ourselves, trying to speak in between the rare lulls in the shouting next to us.

A closer look at that table reveals as I said, six women, all Hispanic and middle-class looking, they ranged in ages I'd guess from their mid 20's to their mid 40's. They looked as though they could maintain a modicum of manners when out in the public eye.

Not so.

Again, I can't begin to tell you exactly when I first noticed that something was awry, but I do believe it was when some sort of sex tale drifted over within earshot. Quasi-unoffensive wording, perhaps along the lines of something about a guy "getting his nut" or whatever, nothing too gross, but spicier than I expect at noon in a crowded restaurant. This lead into some various stories involving being so drunk as to soil one's self, or piss in a friend's bedroom, while standing naked in front of her mirror after a particularly mean drunk.

Mac and I are both by this point trying to check out the table to see who these nasty bitches are, but also nervous to catch eyes with someone lest they try to lure us out for drinks and crack once they ditch the small child. I know for a fact I heard bits and pieces of a story about drinking to excess and vomiting all over people in someone's yard, which I thought might be the topper, be-all, end-all story that would make then draw the line and shut up and eat.

Not so.

I almost lost it when I hear one of them relating a story about being in the shower after a night of clubbing and getting so relaxed that she shit herself in the shower.

"Girl, I just reached down and threw that turd in the toilet and flushed it."

I believe it was within seconds of this charming revelation that a waitress asked if she could get "you ladies anything else?"

Mac and I both laughed aloud and heartily at that one...ladies indeed. Yeesh.

At some point during our meal the women next to us were thankfully silent, engrossed in their food for a second rather than comparing bowl-related adventures and I had to use the old joke that the sudden silence startled me.

While I can't place it in context of the meal, I have to note that I also recall some discussion of one of them having a guy on top of her, and whatever they were doing "just felt like a weird pressure, I had to get that thing out of there" which to my mind sounds like attempted anal sex and frankly shocks me that these broads found something they weren't willing to participate in, given all the filthy shit we heard about during our meal.

Mac and I split before they did, sparing ourselves whatever vile subject they'd tackle for the dessert course; I can only assume that infected hemherroids and vivid descriptions of their monthly cycle could be next.

Holy shit people, we laughed and moaned about that meal for the rest of the afternoon. We both agreed that we'd never even been in the presence of a table of backwards-ass rednecks who spoke as loudly about such dirty, inappropriate shit in a crowded place. I guess I've just been spoiled slightly in my life, but women that I've encountered usually aren't so completely disgusting and forthcoming about all thier bodily functions, in a loud voice, in PUBLIC!!!!

Jesus, I've never been so mortified by my surroundings in a restaurant, not even when I found an ear in my sandwich that one time.

Okay the ear thing is bullshit, but damn these were some nasty women.

We both had to go home and thank our wives for having the decorum not to let fly with whatever vulgar and disgusting thing that pops in their heads like the town crier.

And that was Tuesday.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Annoyance, Frustration, Please Stand By, Lunch, Disgusting, Filthy Whores

Ruidoso, New Mexico Day Four (Or: TVLand Part Twelve)

The title today is somewhat mis-leading, as we only spent about an hour this morning actually in Ruidoso. If you found your way here to read in great detail about the Land Of Enchantment, I apologize whole-heartedly and would suggest you seek out less websites with the word 'Bastards' in their web-address in your pursuit of travel tips for your vacation destinations.

I had set the alarm for 7:00 AM their time, 8:00 ours, so we could get back into town in the early afternoon. Rather than go through the usual charade of turning off the alarm and laying there thinking about getting up, I just sat bolt upright and forced myself to get moving, for fear that the loud neighbors would drive me to violence before I could get us packed up and the hell out of there. We called the valets about the car, gave the Yorkie her little pill to chill her out for the drive and then headed downstairs, stopping on the 6th floor to say good bye to the Mother In Law.

We stopped in a little town called Hondo, I gassed up the car and the wife bought some drinks and whatnot for the trip while I changed out CD's for the drive. She finally got back in the car, noting that she'd have been back sooner but "The 60 year old tranny was still learning to use the register."

"The what?" I asked, surprised at the progressive nature of this rural town.

"This elderly tranny was being taught how to use the register."

Then it finally clicks and I realize she'd said trainee, not tranny, and I burst out laughing, as I'd been imagining an elderly guy in bad make-up trying desperately to get the Doritos and bottle of Coke to scan on the barcode machine.

We got back on the road and I realized again that traffic was blowing past me even when I'm speeding, so I proceed to do about 85 all the way back home, which actually got us into town about an hour earlier than we'd expected.

The wife left immediately to go and see her accountant to sign off on the tax return, I unpacked our two bags from the trip and took out trash, getting things back to normal around the house. The wife returned, completely pissed because the accountants hadn't bothered to tell her that they'd filed us as a joint return, so they also needed my signature (which was news to me), and that they also needed a check for the taxes due, which is always something you can just pull out of your ass, right? She yelled at them a bit about it and then came home to get my signature, then went back up to their offices in spite of them offering to pick it up, just to prove a point of what a pain in the ass they had made all of this into.

"We can pick it up from your home..."

"Oh, no, why should any part of this be simple?!?!"

Idiots. They file extensions for this shit until we're into the latter part of the year, and then still don't have the sense to let us know what has finally been done, nor the idea that someone might want to know if you need a huge check upon reciept of a signature.

We were able to chill out at the house and spend some quality couch time as the wife gradually calmed down. We got caught up on all the stuff the TiVo had been busy with while we were out of town. We plowed through the snarky humor stuff first, with The Soup and The Sarah Silverman Program, then took an inadvertant break, both of us falling asleep on the couch for a few hours.

The rest of the evening was spent checking out more crap off the TiVo, the new Desperate Housewives, which I fear may be losing its novelty with me. The basic idea that anyone who moves into the neighborhood will turn out to have a horrible secret is wearing a tad thin in this season, and I find myself owndering how many times I'm going to be willing to sit through the same set-up.

Talking of the same thing every time, Heroes is holding my interest pretty well, although I have a very similar complaint with it, as each and every new character introduced will of course be either A) a super-powered individual or B) Related to one. How fucking big can they possibly make the regular cast before the show collapses under the weight of the plotlines that feel kinda thin as it is? I try to keep telling myself that it's basically a live action comic book and I wouldn't want to read a story about the boring Smith family who happen to live next door to the X-Men or something, but it's hard to swallow how special the super-powered characters are if you can't swing a dead cat without hitting one, y'know? I noticed that Samuraifrog seems to be having similar issues with the show, and I have to echo his concern with the two kids from South America or wherever the hell they're from: How long have they been wandering around Mexico?

Have they thought about buying or stealing a map yet? Yeesh.

Dexter managed to set my fears to rest about this season, as the last few episodes seemed to be spinning their wheels a little bit, but the latter half of this one actually tied up some things and set new ones in motion, although I was pretty annoyed that they didn't even tease the next episode at all.

The newest Californication was rife with what I love about the show, lots of witty banter, mild violence and a pretty dirty sex scene sandwiched between revelations about how much Hank is actually trying to commit to his Ex. Great stuff, I'm really curious to see where the last two episodes of the season are going.

That's it, I'm out.

Be seeing you.

Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Travel, Ruidoso, Annoyance, Accountants, TVLand, TiVo, Television, The Soup, Sarah Silverman Program, Desperate Housewives, Heroes, Dexter, Californication