Waiting, Decorating, Whores, Shopping and The Theatre
Woke up at 8:30 to give myself some time to wake up before Anastasia Beaverhouszen showed up to grab me so that we could go and do our first decorating gig of the day. The caterer showed up early to start setting up the serving pieces for the wife's charity brunch thing, turns out that the caterer is actually a second cousin of mine, which amuses the wife to no end but also makes me remember why I have nothing in common with most of my family. The funniest thing was when I realized who she was and said non-chalantly "Oh yeah, she's my cousin", which threw the wife for a loop, since she didn't think I had any family here locally. I assured her that I had thought so as well, until I ran into the woman in question's mother a couple years ago, who told me that their entire clan was now living here, which I noted and promptly forgot, since we have nothing in common and no real reason to know one another aside from some shared blood somewhere back down the line.
Anastasia arrived, we visited for a bit and then loaded up the Yorkie to get her out of the line of fire of this party, we dropped her off at the Mother In Law's house, and then headed over to our first job.
We're locked out. Our guy obviously having forgotten to leave the door open for us, Anastasia spent about thirty minutes chasing around after him on the cell, even getting what we thought was his alarm code that would let us in through his garage that ultimately proved useless. She eventually got a call back from him saying that he could meet us in 30 minutes, so we went and got some coffee, but not before noting a maid leaving the neighbor's house and getting into a fifty thousand dollar SUV, which we both found a little disconcerting.
Once we finally got into the house, we hit things hard and got it done in about two and a half hours, setting up his tree, decorating his two mantles and swagging a garland over a large mirror that rests against a wall in the formal living area. This would've taken slightly less time but we had to replace two strands of lights that were dead.
Leaving the house, we locked the door behind us and tucked the key under the mat. I spotted a new odd sight exiting the same house from which the well-to-do maid appeared earlier and had to nudge Anastasia to get her attention, lest she miss it.
A young guy, possibly somewhere between high school to college aged from the look of him (and I admit to being a poor judge pf that sort of thing) was walking a girl out to the Cadillac parked in front of the house. The young lady was tall and skinny as a rail, wearing a pink skirt roughly the size of a Wendy's napkin, fishnet hose and thigh high stack heel boots that made her walk like Bambi on his unsteady new legs. I think this ensemble was topped off with a white half-shirt and jacket, but I honestly missed the top half of the uniform when she turned around to get into the car and I noticed with dismay that I could see her fucking ass hanging out of her skirt, fishnetted buttocks and all. What the fuck is going on at this house? I'd expect to see this type of whorey outfit coming out of a crackhouse or a shitty apartment complex late on a Saturday night, but we're talking about mid-afternoon in a good upper-middle class neighborhood, it was quite surprising to say the least.
This looked like a rich high schooler skipping his afternoon classes to run to the local strip club and pick up a dancer to screw before driving her back to work for the late shift or something equally fishy. Weird.
We hit the MIL's house, heading upstairs to start looking around and gathering the stuff we'd use for her tree, which we then had her maid and groundskeeper bring downstairs from the attic while we got the MIL settled down long enough to talk seriously about what she wanted done. Each year the decorating gig changes, what rooms she wants done, what she'd like to see on the front door, etc., so we wanted to get a shopping list going before we just jumped in whilly nilly.
Once we got a good idea of what we'd need, we headed out to do some shopping for grapevine garlands to decorate the front door and some greenery swags for the area above a window in the formal dining room, as well as some boxes of lights that would get us started on the front porch.
The shopping was somewhat successful, though we're still having a pain in the ass tracking down the grapevine garland, presumably because everyone else is working on similar projects right now. We picked up the Yorkie from the MIL and headed back to our house.
The wife's friend Scrawny McTall and her husband had invited the three of us to go and see the local theatre version of Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella with them and a few other couples, so we all started getting ready for that, unfortunately skipping the little mixer thing they'd arranged beforehand due to how late we were running from the days' decorating. So late were we that they sat us without even asking for our tickets, saying that they would find us at intermission and see who's tickets we were using.
The production threw me a bit, as I will always have Disney's Cinderella in my head. There was also the smoke machine that kept farting out little bits of smoke long after the magic of the tale had transformed the mice to horses which was quite amusing, but the most inspired casting was most certianly the prince himself.
I'm not a naive person, I completely expect the presence of homosexuals in the world of theatre, but did you have to cast the nelliest one you could find as the prince that all the women are swooning over? The idea is there's a big strapping male that all these broads are about to snap their pelvises in half, they're opening their legs so fast for this dude, yet the guy playing that alpha male role couldn't have been any gayer if he had had balls resting on his chin for the duration of his performance. Christ, it was like watching Jack from Will & Grace try to butch it up, it just wasn't working for me.
Oh, and a quick PS: The Theatre Nazi did indeed run us down at the intermission to find out whose group we were a part of and asked us to find our host and have them tell her that we indeed were with them. I almost gave her cash for the tickets just for the pleasure of telling her to fuck off and leave us alone. Yeesh.
We drove-thru some food for a late supper, then picked up Anastasia's car and the Yorkie from our house, and went to the MIL's place to eat and visit until it got late.
Tomorrow Anastasia and I will tackle the MIL's house and see if it's going to take a second day or not. Anastasia's already planning on staying overnight a second night if need be, which is cool but also frees up the MIL to get as crazy as she can with what she wants us to do over the next couple of days, which isn't necessarily a good thing. Working with her can be easier if there's a specific time frame involved, but we'll see how it goes.
Be seeing you.
Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Charity, Family, Christmas, Decorating, Whores, Strippers, Shopping, Theatre, Cinderella, Will And Grace