Friday, October 31, 2008

The Halloween Will be Blog-I-Vized...

1:45 PM

I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but since I'm taking the afternoon and evening to fuck about and do nothing (as if that's a change from any other day), I thought I might try to start a post and then infrequently update it with new timestamps over the course of the afternoon and evening as we get further into horror movies and trick or treaters.

I'm starting this off on the PC in the office, but I'll fire up the laptop later and give myself the freedom of motion to roam the house and update on the fly.

For now, here's everyone's favorite Halloween tune to make you pull out your eyes (or melt your head into a pile of snakes and beetles):

2:05 PM

We'll Tear Your Decorations ApartSettling into the den to re-watch Hellraiser, quasi-regretting not picking up the 20th anniversary re-release that was on sale at Best Buy for $7 last week, but I just couldn't justify spending the money for something I already own, particularly when it'll get a Blu-Ray release sometime soon.


Actually, I'm not sure how good those fake latex-y flesh bits will look in hi def anyway, they look a little silly and fake in the version I own right now, 1080p probably won't do them any favors.


Ah, the divine Ashley Laurence and her 80's fashions and hair.


Man, that Julia's a randy bitch, isn't she? And Larry bleeds strawberry sauce, his blood's so thick.


Frank's re-birth a deliciously goopy and gross affair, really great practical effects for the time.


Homeless guy in this film looks extraordinarily like Alan Moore, if he'd made some snide comments about Hollywood raping his visions, I'd be convinced it was him.


Y'know, since she's actually killing stangers for him, you'd think Frank would drop the whole "Don't look at me!" bitchy routine with Julia. Oh wait, now he has, Mr. High N' Mighty since he has organs again wants to touch her and cuddle. Yick.


Homeless Alan Moore eating bugs. Still not 100% convinced it's not Moore.


Ashley Laurence's hair is a big giant mess in this film. It's an appealing mess, but they obviously spent their budget on make-up and couldn't afford a hairbrush for her trailer. And ew at the incestous Uncle Frank giving her the "Come to Daddy" routine.


Finally, some real Cenobite action as Kirsty opens the box.


It's pretty easy to forget how little screen time the Cenobites actually have in this flick, I'd guess maybe 15 minutes in the entire 90 running time at the most. Amusing to make a film about demons and the villians turn out to mainly be the skinned Uncle and Step-mother for the majority of the film. I have to give it to Barker, his direction is very confident and assured in this movie, there's a good deal of gore and perversity even all these years later it holds up quite well.


Amusing to see Pinhead dispatched before any of the other Cenobites, and then that final cornball flaming dragon creature ending, really the only big misstep for the film. Well, that and Kirsty's love interest looking a bit like Alan Cumming.


Taking a break to make myself a late lunch, halfway listening to/watching Rosemary's Baby on cable frm the kitchen counter. I still can't say for sure if I've ever watched this film in its entirety. I certainly don't find Mia Farrow all that enchanting, and these old people are creepy as hell; it's no wonder I don't trust the elderly.


Food ready, I'm going to scarf that down and see what else is on TV until the wife and I have to go and drop off treats for the Sister's kids, as they can't be bothered to stop by here today. So much for the trick or treat ritual, we have to deliver shit now.


Started then stopped The Exorcist: The Version You've Never Seen so that we can go and run this stuff to the Sister's house. I do't know if there are any Exorcist purists out there, but don't get on my ass about the re-edited film, it was what was in the $5 bin at Wal-Mart last year, sue me. I'm happy to learn that the wife hasn't seen this in its entirety, so I have that to look forward to when we get back. Plus, the film opens in good old nostalgic Iraq, back when Americans could still go there and be archaeologists without someone taking a hacksaw to their necks.


Finally back from the In-Laws, why it takes an hour to drpp off a couple of goodie bags is beyond me. Ready to settle in to watch The Exorcist and wait for the beggars, excuse me, trick or treaters. The Yorkie is ready to bark her little ass off.


The hits keep coming: we just got a call from a restaurateur friend of the Mother In Law telling us that she's out at her cafe acting weird, but assured the wife that they could coax her out the door so that they could close. I wish to God that woman would get her shit together.

Meanwhile, Ellen Burstyn is leading a quiet life, unaware of what's in store for she and her daughter.


I'd forgotten how long it takes this film to really get going. On an unrelated note, Father Karras sounds a lot like Brando in Apocalypse Now with his world weary inflections.


Aaaannd Regan pisses the carpet, we're officially into possession mode now.


Christ, the actual medical bits are worse than the exorcism, that hasn't changed any....


Man, this is really a slow burn, I might've screwed myself with this choice of film. I want to try and squeeze something else in later, I'd better make it somethinhg else a little faster paced. The wife made a DiGiorno Pizza, which I braved a piece of because I was still hungry, it didn't go down so bad.


Burstyn saying the f-word so many times when talking to a priest makes me wonder if she knows that she can catch more flies with honeythan with vinegar.


Full dark outside now, no sign of any trick or treaters, I'm having the feeling like someone who's been stood up for a date right now...


Now we're in business, the first two princesses of the night.


After a few friends and family started the evening, we had a run of maybe 40+ kids, so I feel at least a little better about bothering to decorate. Several Batmen, a couple Hannah Montanas, it's an interesting turnout. I was fully expecting a shitload of Jokers this year, I haven't seen a single one. There was a girl dressed as a pint of Ben & Jerry's though, that was funny.


We seem to be moving towards the older, straggler kids, jr. high and older in ages as we get into the 8:00 hour, though I just had a very young and freaked out Hulk who wasn't all that interested in candy once he got a look at the decorations. I like a scary decor, but it can be a little much for the tiny kiddos.


Interesting pairings this year, who'd have guessed that Dracula even knew the Transformers? Oh, and we're still in the last 20 minutes of The Exorcist, that's been going on for what feels like a week now.


The Joker, finally. My Halloween is complete. Oh, and way less fucking Pirates than last year.


I swear to God, I just saw our 4 lb. dog scare the hell out of a little five year old boy when he knocked on the door and she sprang up barking at him, which is funny when you consider the difference in sizes.


The Night We Barely Had Trick Or TreatersJust popped in Halloween for a re-watch, laughing at Judith Myers' boyfriend's lack of stamina, he's upstairs for a whopping minute and a half before leaving fully dressed. Or maybe he just couldn't close the deal.


I think we're probably done for the night, our last straggler was a friend of the wife's from one of her non-profits and her little daughter. This woman is the daughter of a guy I used to work for and I used to have a crush on her back in the day, and now she wants to be the wife's new best friend, which I could totally pass on, as I don't need anyone I used to think was hot to have any part of my current life, y'know?

I think I'm settling down to watch the rest of Halloween.


Holy crap, we just had a couple of kids and their mom stop by, the kids must've only been about 3 at the oldest, why the hell are they still out this late? I mean, I know it's a weekend and all , but at 3 years old, still wandering the streets? Yeesh.


Evening officially over, I'm calling it an early night and heading to bed to watch the DVR'd Ghost Hunters Live thing until we fall asleep.

I'm out.

Be seeing you.

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Groceries, Vampires, Then Television

I figured I'd try to get an early start on this tonight, since I plan on being up late catching up on some other writing.

I slept poorly last night, sinus drainage conspiring to keep me up, feeling ill off and on about every hour on the hour between 2:00 and 5:00 this morning. As a result, I ended up sleeping in much later than I expected, then waking up with a hellacious headache.

I checked e-mail and looked into what was to be done about the situation with the teeth, only to find out via an answering machine that the Orthodontist's office closes for two frigging hours for lunch, so I had a bit of time to kill. The wife came home from her errands close to 2:00 in the afternoon, so I was finally able to catch someone at the Ortho's office, who conferred with the doctor and found out that only having the cement on one side of the mouth would be sufficient to keep things going, so I was able to avoid having to jack with that. I'm still trying to get used to the sensation of not really being able to chew, which is a big giant fucking drag. I ate very little today, and stocked up on Carnation Instant Breakfast, as they promise protein and vitamins, so I hope I can live off that if I drink enough of them.

We headed out to do the grocery shopping, which we'd needed to do for a few days now, including Advil for my miserable head. The shopping went pretty quickly and we grabbed Starbuck's on the way back home, then unloaded and put away all the groceries.

Another Reason To Not Visit Alaska, Besides Minnesota Housewife-Sounding GovernorsI got a little bit of writing done, then I watched the Blu-Ray copy of 30 Days Of Night that I've had bumping around the bedroom for many moons now. I've been using the Halloween month excuse to watch as many of the unwatched Blu-Ray flicks as I can, which is a small handful at this point that I don't want getting any further out of hand. I don't want to end up with the same piles of unwatched Blu-Ray discs that I have with standard def DVD's, and I've actually started planning to curtail my spending after the holidays and only buy a small amount of stuff as it comes out after the New Year.

Oh, and I still dig the film, in spite of the somewhat corny looking Eurotrash Downs-Syndromey vampires, they all have their little eyes set a bit close for my taste, but their beady black shark eyes and teeth are spooky. Even if they look like they should maybe be wearing a helmet for their own protection. Okay, I'll stop now.

We each ended up making a different rice dish for supper, then settled into the den to watch the TiVo'd episodes of My Name Is Earl, The Office and 30 Rock before calling it a night. Not being able to chew per se, the rice is a good go to dish, as it can be swallowed whole.

I headed into the office to finish this post off and then do some writing, since I've put a lot of things off this week. Talking of writing, there's new stuff over at the BSL if you care to read it, and I'm out.

Be seeing you.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Fuck Me In The Wednesday

I got up with the alarm for a change, got ready to go and do the Chiropractor rigmarole, then checked e-mail to kill time until the appointment. I go to do that, his office is like a zoo, and those numerous signs that read "please refrain from using your cellphones in the office and patient area and turn your phones to silent" obviously don't apply to the bitch in the next room yammering on in Spanish about some check her husband never knew that she wrote. I sit there for awhile and watch a few people I know came in before me leave after they are treated, listening to the Chiropractor in another room talking about Bass Pro Shop with someone, something obviously related to their chiropractic treatment and I'm wondering if the guy could be too fucking personable for his own good, y'know?

He finally makes his way to my room and starts trying to give me the 'how's it going' bedside manner bullshit and I kinda cut him off and ask if I should get on the table, just to get things rolling.

These visits usually take about 30 minutes max, today I walked back into my house a solid hour after I left, that's just nutty considering the actual procedure only took about 10 minutes.

I'd called the Bossman about trading out the work, he was of course unavailable, so I left a message. I ask the wife if she'd care to have lunch, and we drove across town to a Mexican restaurant to grab a bite. On the drive I'd mentioned that between the frustrating Chiropractor experience and having to chase around after the Bossman, the day wasn't looking too bright so far.

We're in the restaurant about five minutes and she said something about how my day must be getting worse, I asked what she was talking about and she indicated that my soulless cunt of an ex-girlfriend (my words, not hers) was seated about 3 tables away from ours, eating lunch with her brother and younger sister. Oddly enough that sort of thing doesn't bother me anymore, just slightly annoys me that she's not decomposing in a ditch somewhere. They left before we finished our meal and that was that, though I had to say as I always do: Thank you God for not leaving me in a relationship with that soul-sucking drain on humanity.

We headed back home to kill the 30 minutes before the Orthodontist appointment I had this afternoon. I was kinda dreading that, but was also amused that the Bossman called just as we got back to the house, he has impeccable timing and couldn't call while I was actually out and about. I told him I'd come by after 3:00, then brushed the teeth for the Ortho visit.

The Orthodontist was a pain, with more of a wait than they usually have, I felt like I'd spent most of my day waiting around on other people for no reason. Top that off with the newest development with the mouth being the use of extra cement on the teeth to basically force my mouth to stay open while they pull the underbite under the upper teeth, and I was just over the fucking moon, let me tell you. He used a gob of this cement on my back molars, which then doesn't allow my front teeth to close completely, and then rubber bands which I now have to change out several times a day to pull the underbite backwards and under the top teeth. I was getting a headache as I left, which is always lovely, and then back home I realized that the wife would be hosting another meeting here this evening, which would mean a houseful of women underfoot and me basically hiding out in the bedroom watching television.

I was in the bedroom doing exactly that when one of the gobs of cement popped off my teeth, almost exactly 3 hours after he'd put it on, which is really annoying. He'd said that I might wear it down trying to chew (Ha! As if I could chew in this condition, I see a lot of liquid meals in my future), and that we might have to reapply it. I would've never guessed that it'd be the next fucking day, because I closed my mouth on it.

If Your Fangs Cause A Lisp, They're Too Big...I watched two more of the Ghost House Underground series of movies while the wife did her thing, and I can see already that this is the new After Dark Suckfest, er Horrorfest, in that there's one or two standout films, and then a lot of stinkers. Both films this evening (Trackman and Brotherhood Of Blood) were very blah, the first one had some nice cinematography but a thin plot, and the other looked to have had a budget of $78, most of which went into buying a shitload of enormous fangs that barely fit into the actors mouths.

I'll be writing the reviews for them either later tonight or tomorrow, but I find myself starting the writing early this evening because of course the Mother In Law decided that she wants to come bring the crazy by here for a few minutes on her way home from Grandmother's, so rather than the wife and I being able to relax after her meeting and watch Ghost Hunters or the recently arrived copy of Zombie Strippers from those rental throttling pricks at Netfux, we've been waiting around for her to ever show up.

See, again, I'm waiting for someone else to do something, I hate waiting around on other people for an extended period of time.

This blows.

Be seeing you.

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Nothing Really All That Exciting Going On - - Oh, Look, The Microwave IS ON FIRE.

I slept in this morning because the Goddamned dentist's office calls my cellphone at 8:30 to let me know that one of their hygienists was dead or something and as such wouldn't be in today, so could we reschedule for the middle of November? Since this was the only thing I had going this morning, I jotted down the new date, turned off my alarm and went back to sleep.

Finally getting up late, I checked e-mail, then ran by the post office to mail a couple bills, picked up some lunch and came back to the house to eat.

The wife came home from her errands and we caught up a bit, then I settled in to get some work done. I listened to a couple episodes of Outside The Cinema and the last two episodes of ShowShow while I finished up both of the projects I was working on.

The wife started our dinner a little early because she had a series of people dropping by this evening as part of one of her volunteer groups. These groups of four or five women were instructed to leave whatever meeting they had, then go 'trick or treating' at a series of 3 or 4 homes (ours included), where they could mingle and ask questions about the orginazation before moving on to the next stop.

The wife was making a baked item of some sort and needed a stick of butter melted, so she popped it in the microwave. The microwave, as some of you may recall, is the same one that would make that horrible grinding noise (not onlike a garbage disposal) and the light inside would flicker like the Cenobites were about to start coming out of the walls. The same microwave that we'd had in the shop for over a month to have them tell us they could find nothing wrong with it. Well, that very same microwave starts in with the Hellraiser garbage disposal routine and I say to the wife, y'know, I wish this fucker would either explode and kill me or just stop doing that once and for all.

Not one minute later, the wife opens it up and shouts "Aaah! It's on fire!", and I'll be damned if the inside of the thing doesn't have flames licking around in there. The wife pulled her butter out of there and the plastic piece from the side falls onto the carousel, where I blew it out and then unplugged the thing from the wall. I sprayed some air freshener around to try to cover the burnt plastic smell and used the back door to fan the offending smell out the back door.

The wife later tells me "Y'know, I'm really tempted to take this back to that repair shop and leave it with them for good, just tell them 'Here, maybe you can use it for research since the problem is a little more obvious now' " which cracked me up.

We ate and compared notes about the Mother In Law's behavior and what the other two Sisters are wanting to possibly do about it, but as in Fight Club, they determine their level of involvement in Project Mayhem, and so far they haven't really involved shit.

And You Thought Your Prom Was Shitty...I retired to the bedroom to watch Dance Of The Dead for the evening while the wife manned to door. After she'd waited for a bit she got tired of flipping through junk mail and joined me to watch the movie. The flick was good, I had heard a lot of good things about it and I liked it quite a bit. I don't know that I was as bowled over as a lot of people evidently were by it, but I'd recommend it, it has a lot of funny lines and some over the top zombies launching out of graves that has to be seen to be believed. Give it a look, I still have to write the review for Pop Syndicate later this evening if I don't crash out.

The wife's groups of women all came and went, but that little project was done by 9:30, so she finished the movie with me and looked at a few of the special features before I headed into the office to work on this stuff for the evening.

Be seeing you.

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Monday, October 27, 2008

Insanity Is Always More Entertaining On Television

I had the chiropractor scheduled for 11:00 this morning, so I got up and dressed fairly early, though I managed to screw around just long enough to not have time for coffee. I hit the appointment on time and then picked up some Thai food on the way back home.

We ate and watched a lot of stuff that'd piled up on the TiVo while the wife was out of town over the end of last week. The wife was still kinda wiped from her trip, so when I decided to get some work done in the late afternoon, she headed to the bedroom to catch a nap.

I listened to a couple of episodes of ShowShow and this week's DVD Weekly Podcast while I finished up the first project. I called it a day around 5:30 because my eyes were starting to bother me and checked e-mail.

The wife got up, I heated some leftovers for my dinner and we visited about the increasingly erratic behavior of the Mother In Law, who was returning from out of town today. The wife was kinda dreading this, which is a helluva way to feel about your mother, y'know? The upshot is we don't really know what the story is, if she's taking her medication in the wrong dosages by hoarding it once it's doled out by the wife, or if she's just stopped taking something, but the bottom line is she's acting like a fucking loon. She's using a bunch of weird language to express herself, the type of shit you only hear when you're stuck having to listen to stoned motherfuckers try to drop some science on me, which I haven't had to do in quite some time.

Example: Describing something (possibly herself, I lost track at some point) as "Moving through space and time" should only happen in a Star Trek novel, or if someone is as fucking high as a giraffe's ass, and those words came out of her this evening. She'd stopped by to pick up her medication and was every bit as loopy and scatter-brained as the wife had described her being on the phone. Personally, I want to record these conversations to play back to a more level MIL at a later date and ask her if she can see why someone would assume that she's high, because she makes no sense whatsoever and uses the most bizarre wording choices, you're left with no other assumption other than that she's doing something she isn't supposed to be.

The wife and I finally got her out the door and on her way home, then we watched the rented copy of Sweeney Todd that those rental throttling pricks at Netfux sent to me on Blu-Ray. Dancy A Shave? I enjoyed it well enough, the Hammer Horror-style red tempera paint blood and sweeping Gothic settings are wonderful. I was a little surprised by how indifferent I felt towards the musical numbers, nothing was all that catchy or interesting to me, and aside from the one song I'd heard snippets of in either trailers or behind the scenes stuff I saw about the film, I can't remember a single lyric as I write this, 3 hours later. I'm happy to have seen the film, but I definitely won't be rushing to buy it anytime soon.

We watched the new Heroes, which was as the rest of this season has been, simply alright but nothing I was just blown away by. Well, actually there were a few scenes I was surprised by and one that amused me to no end. To try and keep it spoiler-free for anyone who actually cares about the show: a character who has lost their abilities is thrown from a 7th floor window of a building, barely survives, and when another character hears that the people inside were able to take away their abilities, runs inside to be rid of their own. I'm nudging the wife saying "So you wanna lose the powers even if they top it off by throwing your ass out a window for your trouble?!?"

Personally, I might reconsider my options rather than signing up for the treatment.

On a closing note, I've noticed a helluva lot of views of the blog over at Myspace (where I copy and paste the blog into a new document from the original Blogger post). If you're one of those people, do me a favor and drop me a comment, I'm just curious who the hell is reading this or if the numbers are strangely skewed for some reason. I normally wouldn't care except that there's supposedly the same numbers or possibly more reading this on Myspace, which would be very strange to me if it's somehow true.

Be seeing you.

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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Cinematic Sunday Sixty

I slept in this morning, then got up at noon and retrieved the newspaper from the driveway and started a pot of coffee. While the coffee perked I jumped in the shower and got dressed, as I knew I had to make the airport run later this afternoon to pick up the wife and her friend.

An Open Handed Chop To The Throat & Granny Goes Down...I worked for an hour and change on the graphs to soak up the small amount of time I had between my late rising and the 3:15 airport arrival. I got a decent amount done and then decided to take the Yorkie with me on the drive, as she was especially mopey this morning.

I arrived to the airport on time and pulled up in the 2nd lane of traffic next to another parked car.

I had been sitting there a few minutes when I noticed some kind of movement from the corner of my eye, and I look over at this parked car. There's an older woman standing on the passenger side of that car, gesturing kinda widely as to suggest that they need out, which I totally understand, but what quickly annoyed me was the shitty look on her face as she pointed at the front of my car. I mean, their car hadn't moved an inch since I pulled up, given no indication that they were leaving. She continued to give me shitty looks and stare me down even as I backed up to let them out, so I mouthed that she could go "fuck yourself, ya geriatric bitch!". I would've actually gone the whole nine yards and used the cunt-word in there somewhere, but I figured she had a better chance of recognizing 'bitch', as I'm sure she's seen that word come out of many a person's mouth over the years. Y'know, since the creation of the Earth from a fucking void.

She and what I presume was her slack-jawed, moon-faced grandson (who was chauffeuring her around and seemed oblivious to his Grandmammy's Hatfield & McCoy's-style hatred for my ass) cut across the lane from their parking spot and out of my life forever, to hopefully die in a ditch somewhere out on the highway, just because I'm a small, petty little man.

I wouldn't have been so annoyed by this bitch, except that she was behaving as if I'd narrowly avoided hitting their car by cutting them off, then threw on the parking brake and flipped them the bird. Nyah nyah, cut ya off, try leaving now fuckstick! I was minding my own business and suddenly get this horrid looking old biddy giving me shitty looks, what the fuck?

I'm sitting in the car for another five minutes or so, and another car has moved in beside me on the right. I happened to glance up at the rear-view mirror and see a car accelerating on me way more than it should be, and then it glides to the right.

Where that other car is.

I'm gritting my teeth for an impact of some kind as this asshole narrowly slips his Mercedes between the two cars and moves ahead of both of us to park.

I can honestly say that my blood pressure was up more at our small local airport than it has been at major metropolitan areas, and that's just fucked up. The ladies finally appeared (after the Mercedes douche was long gone, though I was eyeing that prick the whole time he was parked, hoping to catch sight of this jerk) so I loaded their luggage and then we headed back into town.

We dropped off the wife's friend and then headed home. The wife went through the mail and then we chilled in the bedroom and watched a DVR'd Ghost Hunters. The wife caught a nap and then we piddled around the house a bit before ordering in a pizza and settling in to watch the evening's television programming.

Now that we've finally made our way through all that, I find myself online poking around for the various trailers I jotted down as they popped up over the past week.

First up we have Midnight Movie, which has a killer from a vintage horror film running amuck in a revival theater screening the movie. The film is directed by Jack Messitt and doesn't star a single person I've ever heard of. I'm mainly listing this because I find the look of the killer to be amusingly over the top and cartoon villain-ish, but who knows, maybe it'll be fun to watch some teens get killed in a theater, preferably after one of them is texting someone.

Next we have Underworld 3: Rise Of The Lycans, which trades Kate Beckinsale for Rhona Mitra in the hot leather-wearing lead babe and looks to be every bit as murky and blue-lit as the other films were. Good luck making out what is happening in the tiny YouTube window and check out the film early next year, courtesy of director Patrick Tatopoulos.

Finally, we have a re-make of what could possibly be the wife's favorite horror film (she even went so far as to buy me a t-shirt based on the original film), the new 3-D version of My Bloody Valentine from director Patrick Lussier. It looks to feature a shitload of pick-axe flinging and that guy from Supernatural and hits theaters in January of next year.

I'm out kids.

Be seeing you.

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Saturday, October 25, 2008

Yorkie Suicide Watch: The Third Night

I stayed up late last night watching Cloverfield in the bedroom. I have had the damned thing on Blu-Ray since it came out, yet still hadn't given it the re-watch, it seemed like it was finally time. I Said Goddamn! I have had it in my head recently because I saw the gorgeous Odette Yustman turn up in something else recently and could barely remember where I recognized her from.

I slept in this morning, then got up, dressed and went to run a couple of errands. I had a handful of items that've been bumping around for at least a month that needed to be taken to the Salvation Army drop box, so threw those in the car, as well as a flick I wanted to mail back to those rental throttling pricks at Netfux. I turned the corner near the Salvation Army and was surprised to see that the drop box had been replaced with a group of homeless looking folks sitting in lawn chairs smoking. I figured I'd just head back to the house and Google another location to deliver to at a later date, so I decided to mail my movie and then pick up a sandwich for lunch.

I remembered that we have a Goodwill across town as I was on my way to the deli, so I took a detour and dropped off the stuff there, then gassed up the car, grabbed lunch and headed home. I had a few panicked moments along the way when I looked in my rear-view and saw an SUV with an already smashed in front fender behind me. There's nothing that makes the old asshole clench a bit like realizing that the car behind you, which is already smashed all to shit appears to be accelerating even as you are braking to turn. They narrowly avoided me, thank Christ, though I did shoot them the bird, something I rarely do unless someone manages to actually startle me enough to piss me off.

I watched some television while I ate, then checked e-mail and poked around the interweb for a bit.

I worked on a good chunk of the second project in the late afternoon, listening to an older episode of Dread Media and last week's Mail Order Zombie while I worked.

I wrote a few reviews in the early evening, then made myself something for dinner and chilled in the bedroom to watch The Strangers. It was every bit as much of the French film Them (Ils) as I expected it to be, and had the same 'spooky, spooky, even spookier, aw who cares' narrative structure in that it builds a lot of suspense then manages to blah its way to the finish line with no real climax, though I must admit that I felt that Them ended better than this film did.

I spoke to the wife this evening to say goodnight, then headed to the office to start writing this junk.

**Edit** I rarely come back to a post unless it's to fix a typo or some such, but this is just too priceless. At this moment in time (as this could very well change), if you Google the phrase "I slept with Wes Bentley", my stupid personal life and movies clusterfuck of a blog is the fifth result due to a series of words that appear in tandem in a specific post. I giggled for about five minutes about that shit, of all the random wording in the 1000+ posts on this turkey, that's what is generating traffic. Sheesh.

Be seeing you.

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Friday, October 24, 2008

Yorkie Suicide Watch: The Second Night

I stayed up a little late last night watching some of the special features on the Iron Man Blu-Ray that I'd ignored when I first bought it, then got up early this morning and never made any coffee, which probably explains why I'm feeling so drowsy right now.

The Yorkie was still moping around this morning when I got up, but seems to be taking the wife's absence as well as is to be expected.

I did the chiropractor thing again, which seems to be going well. He says that we're dialing down the approach for next week, with only two visits. I picked up lunch and went home to eat.

The Yorkie finally showed some life and wanted a bite of my food, but I had no French fries and wasn't willing to give her any of my burger since she's got such a finicky stomach. I watched some re-runs on the TiVo, then poked around online for a bit.

I've found a website via one of the random DVD forums I've been trolling that pays pretty decently for used DVD's, so I decided to run by the post office to pick up a shipping box to see how many discs I could actually fit into one for mailing. I stopped by a used bookstore and looked around a bit, then called Robbb to see what he was up to since I hadn't spoken to him in a few days.

I ended up meeting him at Barnes & Noble and visiting for awhile over coffee like a couple of the assholes I usually see in there and smirk at. We walked down to Best Buy so that Robbb could look for a piece of software, which he didn't find and we ended up bullshitting with a former co-worker for a bit before heading back to our cars.

If It's This Boring, I'm Going To Need Some More Boobs, Please...Back at the house, I looked around online and then watched the last flick I've had laying around for a few days from those rental throttling pricks at Netfux. The ongoing trend of diminishing returns from the After Dark Horrorfest continued for me this evening with a viewing of Lake Dead. I have a spoiler-filled review planned, but the bottom line is that this turkey was like a Lifetime Network version of The Hills Have Eyes as 20-somethings run afoul of crazies in the woods when they inherit their Grandfather's motel. The film is too brightly lit to be as grimy and disturbing as it thinks it is, and in spite of several splashes of gore, there's little going for this if you've seen any of the numerous films that it was influenced by.

I headed to the web to do the writing and then get some sleep.

Be seeing you.

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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Yorkie Suicide Watch: The First Night

The wife was up early running a couple errands that she had to get done before she left town, so I got up shortly afterward to check e-mail and make coffee to get my day going.

I ran by the chiropractor, then grabbed lunch and headed back home. I ate while watching a couple Venture Brothers episodes, then the wife got home from her errands. I loaded her bags in the car and we split to pick up her traveling companion for the trip, one of the other women from the organization they're representing this weekend. I dropped them at the airport, then stopped at the home supply place on the way back into town to grab a few odds and ends.

I picked up the same little hinged hangers I had used to attach the other DVD racks to the wall, as well as finally buying some drawer pulls for the built-in desk unit in the library. It's only been a year that we've lived here, I figured it was time.

Back at the house I killed most of the afternoon putting away the DVD rack in the media closet and rearranging some of the DVD's themselves to account for the new space. I listened to several podcasts, including new stuff from Destroy The Brain, Cinema Diabolica and ShowShow, then actually tried to get some work done in the late afternoon. I just couldn't get into the rhythm of it and finally gave the fuck up and popped in a movie from those rental throttling pricks at Netfux.

No, Asshole, I DON'T Want To See The Most Beautiful Thing You've Ever Seen!I watched P2 and went through the mail, because the movie was that engaging. Wes Bentley got another message from Hollywood telling him that he's still the go-to guy for creepy loner types, and Rachel Nichols looked busty in a low cut white dress and got menaced in the empty parking structure. I spent most of the running time of the film opening a few DVD's I had ordered on the cheap from a sale on Amazon, then heated up some leftovers and moved into the bedroom to eat and watch the DVR'd Scream Awards that was on a few days ago.

That show was as pandering as ever, I love celebrities cursing to appear hip to a bunch of Halloween-attired uber-fans. I like the idea behind the show, but Christ, can one person appear on it without having to open with what sound like scripted lines about how underground and hip the show is, or something to that effect? I was happily able to shave 20 minutes off the 2 hour program by skipping musical performances I wasn't interested in and whatnot. My beloved Milla won an award of some description (best sci-fi female? I forget...) and seemed pretty loopy during her acceptance speech, I have to wonder if she was wasted or if she's just nervous around legions of freaky fans.

I spoke to the wife to tell her goodnight, then headed to the web to do this stuff for the evening.

I'm going to go and check on the Yorkie soon, who has been moping around ever since she realized that the bags were leaving and she wasn't going with them. These trips always leave her listlessly milling around the house for the entire weekend, it's a real drag to not be able to explain that the wife will be home in 3 nights.

Be seeing you.

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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Errands, Movies, Bullshit: Y'Know, MY LIFE

The maid thing this morning fell through, as she couldn't be here until later in the afternoon, which was fine but we were already up for a variety of other reasons.

The wife had set her alarm so that she could try to track down the Mother In Law's doctor, because she was out of a mood stabilizer while on a trip to Arkansas to visit relatives. She's been acting squirrely ever since she got there, and the doctor hasn't returned at least two calls from the wife and a fax from a pharmacy.

We're currently looking into getting another doctor.

As I said, the wife was already up and on the phone with this slippery quack motherfucker when my phone starts ringing, and it's the Arkansas relatives, sounding kinda freaked because the MIL is acting even weirder this morning. The solution finally gets worked out that Walgreens can send stuff state to state as a chain, so the prescription is called into a store there and the last I heard she was doing okay and a lot more level now that she's got the pills back in her system.

I made coffee, checked e-mail, then showered and dressed for the chiropractor's appointment I had at 11:00. I was about halfway there and 10 minutes early when I had a voicemail pop up telling me that the doctor would have to reschedule as he'd had some kind of conference call come up suddenly. Annoyed, I rescheduled for tomorrow and decided to stop into a couple of the pawn shops here in town to see if anyone had the same kinda cheaper Blu-Ray that I saw yesterday in Odessa. I saw a few things that I was kinda sorta interested in, but everything over here was priced between $20 and $30, which is absolutely fucking crazy: if I wanna pay $30 for a disc, I'll buy it new for Christ's sake.

I picked up a chicken sandwich and headed home to eat and wait for the maid to arrive. The wife came in from her errands with her own lunch, we caught up a bit and then the maid arrived, her 5 year old daughter and an adult niece in tow, who she introduced as, no shit "This is my niece." with no other hint at what the gal's name might be. Since I couldn't give a fuck less about playing 'getting to know you' any more than necessary, I put on some cartoons for the kiddo and let the ladies went to work on the house.

I popped in the earbuds and started work on the first project, which went really fast and the next thing I knew, I'd finished over half of it. I can only hope that the other on goes as easily. I listened to the latest Dead Lantern Splattercast while I worked on that, which covered the entire Puppet Master series, films that I've never watched at all and am not really all that sold on after hearing their reviews. These films sound as if nostalgia sell them more than their own merits, y'know?

The maid and her entourage split, so I decided to call it an early day since my eyes were getting a little twitchy from work. Shit It Down! The wife and I chilled in bed and I watched the recently purchased Dark City director's cut. I'd forgotten how great that film is, and having just re-watched The Matrix stuff this past weekend, I have to say that as a stand alone film, this one is actually more intriguing to me than all the mythology and new-agey nonsense of the Matrix Trilogy. The visuals are great and I love the blend of genres used to such great effect, even if there's no wire-fu action involved. Great film.

The DVD case I'd ordered arrived via Fed-Ex while the maid was here today, so after my flick I decided to take advantage of the wife being asleep and go put that together. I started in on a bumper length episode of Night Of The Living Podcast while I knocked that bitch together, and the wife got up at some point during the construction and started making supper. I placed it in the media closet, but didn't put the doors on or start arranging anything in it, as I want to run by the builder's supply and pick up some of the little anchors I used to attach the others to the wall. Not that I think the dinky little anchor and a zip tie will necessarily hold the things up if they really get over balanced, but it's some small piece of mind that it's attached and molly-bolted to something.

We ate a coconut chicken dish and watched The Incredible Hulk on the old Blu-Ray player in the bedroom, because I wanted to check that out sooner than later. I was actually surprised by how much I liked it, though I never really thought that there was anything all that wrong with the Ang Lee film from a few years ago. I can see this one being worth a re-watch from time to time, though it's no Iron Man or Spider-Man 2 as far as that goes.

And now here I am getting this finished for the day. Tomorrow I have to run the wife and one of her girlfriends from one of her committees to the airport so that they can fly out for a leadership seminar over the weekend.

The Yorkie will be all forlorn and miserable this weekend, which I'm not looking forward to. There's just something about that 4 pound dog moping around that makes me want to put a gun in my mouth.

Be seeing you.

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

While The Wife's Away, The Mob Will Blog

I'm doing this junk pretty early this evening because the wife is out at one of the usual meetings and I found myself just watching television re-runs instead of doing anything useful, so I figured I'd force myself to get online and get this done instead of just wasting the evening.

I slept a little later than I originally intended, then got up and dressed around 10:00. I checked e-mail and then helped the wife unload the groceries and put them away. I left her piddling around on the web and went to run my errands for the day, which included a stop at Best Buy to pick up The Incredible Hulk on Blu-Ray because I never made it out to the theater to check it out and I figured what the hell. I was also in the market for the new Hank III album, which hit today.

I popped in there first, picked up those two items and also ran across the Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer flick in a Best Buy exclusive 2 disc version for only $6, so I picked that up as well.

Krumpet The Elf Rocks!I went down the strip to Barnes & Noble to pick up the recently re-released David Sedaris book Holidays On Ice, which is re-worked with new material for the season. I found a new issue of Hi-Fructose while I was at it, which was a pleasant surprise. I got a call from Robbb while browsing there, so he met me and grabbed a coffee and caught up a bit, then I split at noon to head to Odessa to meet up with Macguffin.

I wanted to give him time to be up and about, so I stopped in and looked around at a used CD place on the way into town, finding nothing. I was pulling into his driveway when he called me to see where I was, so we bullshitted for a bit at his place, then headed out to grab some lunch. We had Italian at an understaffed place we normally go to, and I fielded a couple of calls regarding the perpetually out of stock book shelves that we ordered for the Goddamned library close to three months ago. I am happy to say that the upshot of that whole thing was that we should be done with that project in 2 weeks, according to the newly revised order and shipping schedule, thank you GOD.

Mac asked me if I'd arrange some flowers for his wife's birthday, which happened to be today, so I sheepishly agreed, feeling a little like a heel for not knowing that it was Blancodeviosa's birthday, but I've never tried to portray myself as a good friend. I mostly suck.

Little Deiter Needs A Sandwich.We ran by a couple of places I wanted to look at for some used Blu-Ray items, and I was happy to find Rescue Dawn in great condition for $15, which is much better than the $28-$36 I've seen it sell for new.

We picked up the flowers and went back to his place. I put together one larger arrangement, then used the extra stuff we had left to make a few little smaller bud vases and such to place around the house, her bathroom, etc., which I think is always a nice touch.

We visited until she got home, then we all chit chatted for a bit, then I excused myself to let them go out for a family dinner and I headed home. The Yorkie was happy to see me and very curious about the strange dogs I smelled like when I came in, it's like a wife finding lipstick on your collar; she went nuts. I went through my various purchases and watched some television before coming into the office to get started on this.

The maid will be here at the crack of dawn tomorrow, so I need to be up early to get in a shower before I have to deal with that and then go to the chiropractor.

I'm out kids.

Be seeing you.

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Monday, October 20, 2008

Back, Work, Movies, Et. Al...

Got up and moving at a reasonable hour this morning, checked e-mail while the wife showered, then got dressed to go and do the chiropractor routine for the first of three times this week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. That was pretty hassle free and I took some of our recycling stuff with me to drop off since our little box with plastic bottles runneth over.

I picked up lunch and came home, where the wife and I ate while watching last night's Desperate Housewives on the old TiVo. We watched something else that escapes me, a re-run of this or that most likely, then I decided to get some work done and began the prep work on the two projects I have right now while the wife headed to the office to do some interweb rat-killing.

I listened to last week's episode of Outside The Cinema while I worked, and the wife eventually left to run a series of errands in the late afternoon.

I got a call from Macguffin and was happy to realize that if I had him on speakerphone on the countertop, I could easily chat with him and still get my work done. I was able to get both projects prepped and ready to work, as they are both short, a nice change of pace compared to some I'd recently worked on. I made plans to visit Mac tomorrow because I wanted to go to Odessa and poke around a little bit, so I figured we could grab some lunch or something. He seemed up for it, even if he's been sleeping poorly again, I just need to take my time getting over there in the morning, so I'll probably pop into Best Buy and Barnes & Noble on the way just to kill some time.

Since I was at a good stopping point I decided to call it a day and pop in a movie from those rental throttling pricks at Netfux. Don't Fuck With The Plumber I watched Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer this evening, which was a pretty simple story and a helluva lot of fun. I liked all the practical effects and the splattery rubber monsters, it's not a very involved story, but it's a nice way to kill an hour and 20-something minutes, I'll definitely have a review up sometime in the near future.

Talk of reviews, there's a couple new ones up at the BSL for any interested parties. Both of you.

What An Idiot Is Too Vague Of A Title, I SupposeThe wife got home from her stuff as the movie was ending, so I made us some dinner while she did the interweb thing again, then we watched Stuck, the Stuart Gordon film about the nutty bitch you hits a guy and leaves him in her windshield rather than take him to a hospital. I'm reviewing it for Pop Syndicate, so I'll be writing that up tomorrow. The flick was good, with a weirdly dark comic tone that progressively becomes more apparent as the film goes on. I was suprised by the trailer, which is included on the disc, as it looks almost like a slapstick comedy when the actual film is much more violent and dark. Odd marketing.

And now here I am again, hunting and pecking my little heart out. I think I'm calling it an early night, as we still have Heroes to watch and I'd like to give it a look this evening if possible.

Be seeing you.

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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Cinematic Sunday Fifty-Nine

I slept in like a loser again today, I don't know what the deal is with my sleep schedule anymore, but I am hellbent on being up and at 'em every damned day next week, come hell or high water.

Lazy Lazy Lima BeanI'll try to keep this short as I did last Sunday, because as I've noted before, no one really comes by here on the weekends anyway.

I got very little done around the house today, since I slept so late I figured I needed to jump directly into the writing I'd put off for the past few days, so I headed straight to the office and started that around 1:00. I worked on several reviews until around 4:30, then we called in an order for some Chinese to have for an early dinner. I picked that up and returned a phone call I'd missed earlier in the day, then we ate and watched some random television.

The wife went to the office afterward to check up on a few e-mails and I piddled around with the idea of using some old CD racks by taking them apart and repurposing them to hold two levels worth of DVD's when placed in the storage cabinets in the den, which cleared up that area considerably and allowed for better access, so I'm happy with that.

The Mother In Law dropped in during the middle of the evening, which effectively fucked my television viewing schedule in the ass, so I chatted with her for a bit, then left her and the wife visiting and headed in here to get this written for today.

I'd been keeping an eye out for trailers over the course of the week, so I already had a few things in mind for this evening, including:

The Children is a film directed by Tom Shankland, which has several teasers online, none of which really give me any idea what the film is actually about, except a short one sentence line about children turning on their parents during Christmas vacation. Here's the first teaser, several more can be found on YouTube if you're intrigued.

Next up we have The Haunting In Connecticut, which is directed by Peter Cornwell and stars Virginia Madsen, Elias Koteas and a bunch of other people according to IMDB, none of whom are familiar to me, so fuck'em. The film appears to be about people who move into a new house (always a mistake) and find surprises their Realtor left off the menu when they did the final walk-through. Give it a look:

Finally, we have Push, a new film from Paul McGuigan, who directed Lucky Number Slevin and Gangster # 1. It's a sci-fi thriller which stars Chris Evans as a man trying to avenge his father's death against the government agency who had experimented on him. Dakota Fanning co-stars as a psychic who can see the future. While it may look reminiscent of that Jumper flick, I'm still a little curious, if only because it's such a departure for the director from his previous work.

Be seeing you.

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Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sci-Fi Saturday

I know I always promise a quick post and then off to bed, but tonight I may actually have that one under control.

I slept late today, while the wife went and picked up the woman from her hotel and ran her to the non-profit event, which started at 10:00. The wife was out of the house basically all day, until around 4:00 in the afternoon, because the event kept her tied up and then she had to run the gal back out to the airport so she could catch her plane.

I dicked around on the interweb for awhile, as my new favorite pastime has been lurking on various DVD and Blu-Ray related forums and checking out the threads regarding people's collections, because I find it very interesting to see what others have piled up in their homes, possibly because it makes me feel like less of an idiot for buying shitloads of stuff if others are doing it as well. I have recently gotten derailed from the collection threads by threads featuring pictures of the different home theater set-ups that people have, some of which look like an honest to God theater on their home, and others that look like a messy apartment with a boxed home theater set positioned around a particle-board entertainment center; sort of one extreme to the other if you catch my drift.

No One Makes Their First Jump.I spent a good bit of time looking at that, then decided to watch the Blu-Ray Matrix boxset I picked up earlier in the week. Well, the three films at the very least, there's supposedly like 30-something hours of bonus materials in there as well, everything from stunt choreography to interviews with the Keanu-wrangler about how hard it is to keep the guy focused around shiny objects like Trinity's leather pants. Or change.

I'm kidding, I have nothing against the guy, but he does come across as a little thin on personality in some interviews I've seen, and he's not going to be winning any Oscars for losing himself in a role any time soon.

I'd not seen any of these films in at least a few years, the third film possibly since the theater due to the diminishing returns of some of the special effects and increasingly convoluted New Age-y nonsense plotting, but I remembered some of the effects in the later two films looking very video game-ish, and I was anxious to see if the Blu-Ray's hi-def transfer did anything to smooth this out. It most certainly does not, specifically in the battle royale with all the Agent Smiths and the highway sequence in which an Agent leaps onto a car and destroys it; both of those scenes look like Grand Theft Auto spliced into a live action film. It's quite disconcerting, and surprising how a format can make the rest of the action look great and draw even more attention to the few faults.

I made it through the first two films, then came up for air long enough to return a call to Macguffin, who'd called mid-afternoon. I also sent the wife on her merry way to run an errand and drop of a gift at a party she'd most kindly let me off the hook from attending. I spent about an hour on the phone with Mac, even going so far as to direct him to the forums I'd been perusing earlier so that he could share in my morbid curiosity about other obsessed collectors.

The wife came back, I got off the phone and we ate while watching the third Matrix film, then I came into the office to do this and probably get fished back into some stupid forum thread for another hour or so.

Be seeing you.

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