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Sunday, May 31, 2009

Cinematic Sunday Ninety

Now with less boring shit, like details from my life!

Trailers this week include:

Mad German Werner Herzog has evidently re-made Abel Ferrara's controversial film Bad Lieutenant what looks like a Terry Gilliam-esque Fear and Loathing-styled dramedy called Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans. The film stars Nicholas Cage, an actor who I feel in recent years has just been eye-fucking me for ever liking him with each new film he makes. That said, the trailer alone is strange enough to make me want to see this movie, if only because I enjoy Cage in his wacked out nutjob mode (ala Vampire's Kiss) and this seems to be set within that territory. Check it out:



Next up we have the trailer for the Pang Brothers next film, Storm Warriors, which just looks amazing, a spiffy little period piece full of wire fu and special effects, what's not to like? I have done zero research on this film (fuck you for wanting journalism), but this evidently a sequel to The Storm Riders, a film I've seen but recall very little about.



Finally we have A Perfect Getaway, from director David Twohy. It stars Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich as a couple who encounter danger on a vacation when they meet up with fellow tourists Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez who are much more dangerous than they first appear. I'm down for whatever involving Milla, but Steve Zahn's career always puzzles me, as the guy isn't exactly leading man material but is somehow the first lead in this thing, as well as some Jennifer Aniston picture this summer as well? What gives, Hollywood?



I'm out kids.

Be seeing you.

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Saturday, May 30, 2009

Congratulations To All Of You Young Girls And By The Way, Who Gave The Old Broad Wine?

The Yorkie woke us around 9:30 because she evidently hates us and doesn't care if we sleep or not. The wife fed her while I booted up the computer and made coffee, preparing to get the final review I had notes for written up.

The wife fetched an early lunch, we ate and watched some television, including a TiVo'd episode of The Soup, then we just watched some random reality show that was on television that TiVo was in the process of recording as one of its misguided 'suggestions'. The show is about little asshole children who are taken to a farm or something and forced to work and act like human beings or something equally 'reality' based, in which the redneck farmer ranch guy doesn't just haul off and knock the shit out of them when they start mouthing off. Um, yeah, it's HIGHLY realistic.

Anyway, I dozed off listening to this crap, then woke up about 45 miutes later to some of the worst Goddamned bland 'country' music I've ever heard in my life. Don't get me wrong, I generally tend to like genre blending music, but why are they calling shitty pop music country these days? Nothing about any of the three artists (none of whom even registered enough for me to remember their names) sounded even remotely like country artists, I mean Jesus Christ, can I at least get a twang in the voice or something?

I checked e-mail, then started getting ready for the two graduation parties we had to be at this evening. The wife and I must be getting old, because we had no less than four friends daughters graduating from high school today, two of which had invited us to their respective parties. The second party, which started later just so happened to be one that the Mother In Law had been invited to as well, so the plan was that we'd go to the first one around 5:30, make our appearance and have a drink while visiting a bit, then pick up the MIL and hit the other party, which was supposed to be a seated dinner rather than a 'come and go' party where people could freely enter and leave at their whim.

The first soiree of the evening was cool, I grabbed a few cocktails and we munched on some food, saving ourselves for what was described as an actual dinner later though. The party was for the younger of the Hairdresser's daughter, and she and her girlfriend had really gone all out to put together a nice gathering for both sides of the family, including an ex-husband who isn't too keen on the Haidressers and their lifestyle.

This is something I don't get myself, because if a woman leaves me for another woman, there's obviously something I can't give her, this guy still holds a weird grudge about it, which seems ridiculous to me. If the wife leaves for another dude, maybe I can fly off the handle because I'm way cooler than this new douchebag, but another chick? That's equipment I don't have, it's a totally different equation, let it the fuck go, y'know? Oh, and amusingly, the Hairdresser definitely traded up with the girlfriend, the ex-husband is kind of a goofball.

We split after and hour or so to grab the MIL and head to the second party. We only had to wait a short time for her to be ready and noted with annoyance that she was saying shit like "well if we're a little early we can probably leave a little early" on the drive over to the house. As if she has anything better to be doing, and it's frustrating that she's just assuming that we're also wanting to ditch this party at the first chance we see an opening. Bah.

The party was fun, and while the MIL made it longer than we had expected her to before starting to whinge about leaving, both the wife and I noted that she was drinking from what appeared to be a plastic glass with wine in it. This is obviously an issue since the wife has remembered for most of her life the big deal it was that the MIL got sober during her childhood and has been that way for 20+ years, only to be sipping at a small glass of wine this evening. WTF? And the stupidest thing is that we don't just want to start a big thing about it at the party, but we're both just curious if she plans to attend her Alcoholics Anonymous 'birthday' meeting (they celebrate everyone's 'dry' dates) next month, because frankly if she's wanting to have wine now and then, more power to her, but I have zero interest in being taken to any more fucking meetings, y'know?



We dropped the MIL back home, then the wife and I spent a good long time debriefing about the evening, and while she is still weirded out about things I did my best to assure her that no matter how crazy and selfish her family can be, I will always be here trying to keep her sane. I don't know if we're going to ask her about the wine or not, maybe she's decided that she can handle it and her way of working it back into her life is to act as though it's the most natural thing in the world instead of making a big show of it?

What a weird night.

Be seeing you.

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Friday, May 29, 2009

Murderous Hillbillies And Gloomy Grad Students

The lawn guys got the Yorkie worked into a froth with the leaf blowers and mowing shit around 9:00 this morning, so I was forced to get up with the alarm and start my day. The wife had the groomer scheduled today, so she rolled out of bed today and ran Bella by there shortly before their weird cut off time, hoping against hope that we might get our dog back before nightfall. The last time they had her she was stuck there for about 8 hours before they finally called, it was pretty pathetic.

The wife was nice enough to return with coffee, I relinquished the computer to her because I had a couple of errands I wanted to run before the day got away from me, so I grabbed a shower and then headed out. I may've mentioned that I've been listening to a new podcast recently, and I happened to have two new episodes of the Ken P. D. Snydecast to listen to, which are always entertaining.

I hit up Best Buy for a price adjustment on an item I bought last week that they promptly put on sale for $5 less than I paid just a week later, which I thought was kinda shitty. That was pretty hassle free, so I poked around a bit and then ran by Big Lots to see if they had anything interesting and cheap.

I actually found a two pack thing that had the special edition of Carpenter's The Thing backed with the rather so-so flick White Noise, but for $6 for both, how could I say no? I've never owned The Thing, and this special edition DVD has more bonus content than the Blu-ray version of the film does, so what the hell, y'know?

I picked up a sandwich for lunch, then was downright shocked to find traffic so thick on the Loop that runs the circumference of the city that I was unable to cross the two lanes of traffic on the little feeder/service road to get turned around and head home. I sat through the light twice waiting for the damned traffic to clear, only to watch it fill right back up to where it was before the light had changed, so I finally gave up and took the loop back around town, exiting on a much better managed area and finally making my way home. This may read like a bunch of whining to the average person, but honestly folks, this is a small town, traffic you can't find a way through is virtually unheard of.

Not As Lurid Or Scary As It Could Be, UnfortunatelyThe wife was wrapping up some stuff on the web, so she joined me when I popped in a flick called Stash, which had arrived courtesy of those rental throttling pricks at Netfux. The film is a low budget affair, and I was actually wondering why I had added it to the queue, something I'm still at least a little fuzzy on. The film is pretty simple, guys kidnap girl, her father and cops search for her while the guy holding her captive molests and tortures her, and the guys from the Deadpit site appear towards the end. Their brief cameo may've been why I had been curious to see it, as I follow their videos on YouTube, though I couldn't swear to it. Regardless, the acting is very spotty in this, the budget apparent in most scenes, and the villainous hillbilly guy doing all the raping and torturing is never truly convincing in his lines; they always seem like he's reciting something rather than actually being freaky and disturbing. Oh well, it was short and sweet, but never really paid off in being as creepy or crazy as the description might lead one to believe. Pass.

I took some time in the late afternoon to run the recycling stuff to the bins (where the fuck did all that plastic suddenly come from?) and then picked up the Yorkie from the groomer. I walked into the house prepared to chill out and watch another film, only to have the wife hit me up about going out to dinner.

I have been trying to make a concerted effort to be more open to the wife's wild hairs like this, as my natural curmudgeon behavior lends to me flatly refusing a lot of requests that require me to leave the house and associate with people unless I absolutely have to. I agreed, as I was figuring that it was no skin off my ass, right?

We made the critical error of trying to invite the Mother In Law, who of course had no interest in leaving the house (because the trip didn't involve her new beau, we've begun to notice), but instead wanted to put in her order so that we could bring food over to her after we ate. The wife was typically caught flatfooted and was unable to say 'no', so we went to eat, then drove a to-go plate over to the MIL's house. Like I mentioned earlier, this wouldn't be so annoying except that she'll jump through her ass if her new beau is in town and wants to go to dinner, but if one of her daughters calls she's suddenly got a litany of excuses all cued up to avoid having to be dressed; it's getting a little predictable. And you just know that we couldn't just drop off the food, instead we got stuck there for about an hour, with me mostly bored as the MIL yammered about what's up in her life (we've begun to realize exactly how self-involved the woman is) and about her still-pending divorce that she's been trying to get finalized for 2 years now.

I'm Nostalgic For Conversations I Had YesterdayWe finally got the hell out of there and headed home, where we watched the Criterion version of Noah Baumbach's film Kicking And Screaming. A quick aside: Only 56% fresh, Rotten Tomatoes critics? Fuck your mothers, this movie rocks. Thinking back as the film started, I realized that I hadn't seen it in a good long time, even though I've owned the DVD for many months now, possibly even since this time last year, which makes me feel bad. The film held up really well, it's so well written and the actors run with all the various character quirks, it just kills me. I was also surprised to recognize Mrs. Ari from Entourage (Perrey Reeves) as the one night stand that Grover has early in the film, and she was quickly topless! It was actually a little shocking to tell you the truth, kinda like seeing a friends wife suddenly drop her shirt or something, like "what the hell just happened? Did I just see that?"

The wife and I called it a night shortly thereafter so I could come to the web to work on this nonsense and left the wife catching up on her Martha Stewart stuff on the DVR.

Be seeing you.

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Writing, Laundry And Edward Woodward Having A Really Bad Day

I slept in this morning after being up late listening in on another (Cool) Shite recording last night; it's always fun but I wish the time difference with Australia wasn't so severe. Their leisurely 4:00 in the afternoon recording time amounts to starting a 2 hour show at 1:00 AM my time, which some nights is easier than others, depending on how much sleep I've had.

I got up and checked e-mail, then started going through some of my review notes until I noticed I was getting peckish, so I got dressed and drove across town to hit Chick-fil-A, because I had a hankering for some of their chickeny goodness. Their drive-thru line completely wrapped around the building and was beginning to interfere with people trying to exit the line after they got their orders. I also noted with some amount of alarm the fact that there was even a second row of cars developing in the parking lot alongside the drive-thru line, completely blocking up any hope of exit, so I quickly cut the wheel and avoided even entering the parking lot for fear of being trapped there for the better part of 45 minutes.

I called in an order for some Thai food and then listened to part of this week's Outside The Cinema while I drove back across town to pick it up.

The wife got home just behind me, so we caught up for a bit, then she did some online stuff while I ate and flipped channels, watching a random Venture Brothers re-run that TiVo had grabbed last night.

I started in on some laundry as the wife left for a late afternoon meeting, then ended up spending a helluva lot longer than I anticipated dicking around with cleaning up the closet and putting away some older clothes that I haven't worn since before I even met the wife. I decided that about 30 odd comic book related shirts that I don't wear any more could be folded and put away in a large plastic tote (y'know, cause we never throw anything away around this house) if only to make room for some of the stuff I actually wear and have been putting into drawers since we moved into this house. Not surprisingly, the tote I had purchased wasn't large enough for all the shirts I wanted to put away, but a good amount of room was made for the other shirts and I was happy to put away some of my laundry load in its new spot.

The wife got home as I was wrapping that up and inquired about going out to dinner, so we went to grab a bite at a nearby Mexican restaurant.

We headed home after dinner trying to beat the lousy weather that had blown in, lots of purple clouds hanging overhead, but we got nothing but the occasional sprinkle of rain, which was just fine by me. I'm not a huge fan of rainy weather, and all that spring and now summer has given me is threats of thunderstorms every week like clockwork; it's very frustrating.

Nice Stunt Ass!The wife and I watched the original version of The Wicker Man this evening, which the wife had never seen and was a little alarmed might be as fucking awful as the re-make that she and I had rented when it first came out. I assured her that it was a lot more interesting and she really seemed to enjoy it, but if nothing else the 70's setting of the film is an easy selling point; we've both come to enjoy the retro styling and look of films of that era. It's interesting to watch Edward Woodward's over-zealous police officer get more and more agitated at the idea that this village is not worshiping the right God, it actually makes him less and less sympathetic as he keeps sneering at any beliefs that don't jive with his own.

We called it an early night so that I could spend some time trying to polish up the review I started this morning.

Be seeing you.

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Nightmarish Eve Experience

We had the maid here today, so I was up early in case she was ringing our bell at 9:00 or something, but she of course arrived around 10:30 or so. Had I been asleep at 9:00 I'm relatively sure she would've been here early, but I'm done second guessing that kinda shit and just got up and moving for the day.

I got a couple of reviews polished up for next week, even sent something over to the (Cool) Shite guys for their site as well, listening to part of the latest ShowShow while I proofread the reviews for any unintentional typos, leaving in all my 'kindas' and other 'conversational' bullshit that I use to make you think I'm not a bot working for a PR firm.

The maid brought her mother with her instead of the child today, so they were done in about 2 hours, by which time the wife was back, so she and I chilled and caught up a bit until the ladies split, then I went to grab us some lunch.

The weird weather we've been having (constantly threatening rain) last night had some bad winds thrown in, so I had to drag a tree branch that had blown down in the front yard around to the dumpster, pausing to break out a saw and cut it into manageable pieces on the way.

The wife caught a nap while I watched All About Eve off the old TiVo, something I had recoded just to be finally seeing such a classic film. I enjoyed it well enough, and the dialog is very snappy, though the overall message of 'there's always a younger model nipping at your heels' didn't strike me as all that earth shattering. Nothing against the film though, I always dig the way people wrote dialog back then, it's very sharp and entertaining, doesn't give you a lot of downtime.

The evening saw the wife and I retiring to the bedroom to watch a little something off the DVR, since the HDNet movie channel has been showing brand new films each month I was able to record the latest Steven Soderbergh film, The Girlfriend Experience. The Girl Next Door Will Accept Money For Sex Starring porn star Sasha Grey as a high class escort, the film follows her through some of her day to day life, as well as that of her live in boyfriend. The general plot of the film revolves around her wanting to take a client over a weekend, going away with him, which is against the rules she and the boyfriend had previously laid down, so there's that bit of drama, but mostly the film meanders around their lives and the general feelings of the populace shortly before last year's election. The film was interesting, and Sasha Grey turns in a decent enough performance as the detached and aloof Chelsea, which I suppose is the main question most people have been wondering about: Can the porno chick act? It's worth a look if you can track it down, and fair warning, it's way less sleazy and sexy than one might expect from a film with a porn star as the lead.

The wife and I popped in a flick from those rental throttling pricks at Netfux afterward, something that arrived in the mail today that I wanted to see if I could get back to them in a timely manner. Nightmare Man was another one of the After Dark Horrorfest films that I had added to the queue, um, whenever in the past, and it finally made its way to the top of the list and turned up in the mailbox. The movie is about a woman who buys this asinine fertility mask, then becomes convinced that some sort of demon or whatever is haunting her becuase of it, so the next thing we know her husband is taking her to an asylum to commit her and see if they can de-crazy her and they run out of gas on a remote forest road. Left alone while he goes for gas, she's chased through the forest by the 'Nightmare Man', eventually turning up at a cabin where two couples are playing erotic truth or dare, as one does when out in the woods. I had no idea what to expect exactly, as I'd added it so damned long ago, and the film turned out to be pretty damned silly, but in an enjoyable way. Don't get me wrong, it's a fairly bad movie, but the after awhile the corny dialog and situations are laughably enjoyable, whether they are meant to be or not. Oh, and I finally saw that Tiffany Shepis gal topless, which from what I've read is no real accomplishment (as she is nude in many a low budget horror film from what I've read), but I'd just never seen a movie with her in it, so I can scratch those boobs off the list now.

I'm out kids.

Be seeing you.

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

How Have We Angered You, Oh Grand And Exalted Toilet Deity?

I got the rest of the notes off my desk today for the reviews I'd been putting off, so there should be new stuff over the the old Big Suck Loser soon enough, as well as doing some picking up around the house because I've been trying to not let anything get out of hand.

I managed to get Macguffin on the phone and we caught up for a good long while in the mid-afternoon, which slowed down my writing but was a nice change of pace, as I hadn't heard from him in quite some time.

The wife got home from her rat killing and we caught up a bit while I helped her fold some towels and whatnot that was still hanging around in the laundry room, then she chilled in the bedroom and made a few phonecalls while I wrapped up my writing for the day.

The wife eventually headed out to another evening meeting, so I did some dishes from last night's meal, listening to this week's Dead Lantern Splattercast while I scrubbed away. I also found out that you can actually cut yourself on a metal SPATULA. Seriously, who the fuck knew?

I started watching part of a movie on TCM but then got a call from the wife, saying that she'd be home earlier than expected, so I decided to not get too involved in the film, opting for some television with the wife instead.

Funnier Than You Might Expect, But Has A Few ClunkersWe watched Manstrokewoman Series One, which I'd picked up for a few bucks from a wholesaler awhile back just because it stars Nick Frost amongst the ensemble cast. The show is funny overall, though it relies on a lot of repetition of bits to mae it funny, which is great if you enjoy the bit, but slow death if you don't find it amusing to begin with. It was definitely worth the two or three dollars I spent on it.

We called it a night around 10:00, and I went back to the Library to file the DVD away in the little media closet, pausing to piss in the toilet back there. I noticed water on the floor to the right of the toilet, so I started investigating and find that the toilet's tank has somehow been cracked and that the damned thing is weeping water down this hairline crack that ran from the top of the tank almost all the way to the bottom. This is something of a mystery, as the crack was such that there was just a small cumulative beading of water, and no one except for me actually uses that bathroom, usually if I happen to be in the neighborhood dropping off a movie to the collection. I actually haven't the foggiest idea when the toilet was last used, so unless there's a poltergeist on that side of the house taking violent ectoplasm shits, I have no clue what could've caused this.

I am glad I noticed it now rather than after the thing popped completely and flooded the room, which would be just awful and is precisely why the shelving units containing the DVD's were purchased with short legs, because of their proximity to the bathroom and the water dangers therein.

Be seeing you.

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Monday, May 25, 2009

Celebrating Memorial Day With Joe Six-Pack And Some Koreans

The wife and I did very little today; she worked through some laundry while watching a couple of her crafting programs off the DVR during the morning and I did some dishes in the kitchen.

The afternoon brought us to the den and I got a really wild hair to pop in the Lucky Louie DVD that I had picked up for $3.00 at Big Lots back when I first noticed that they had cheap DVD's.

His Life's Not ALL Bad, As You Can Plainly See...The series was canned after the one season, so we were able to see the entire series in one afternoon, which was nice, but also a little on the depressing side. The show is funny, but the blue-collar realities of their situation really nagged at me even when the show was making me laugh; I can totally see this possibly being a factor in the show not coming back. Elements of it are just downright depressing, as Louis CK and Californication cutie Pamela Adlon bicker about all manner of shit that while realistic is just like a kick in the nuts for anyone looking for escapism in their television programming. There was a good deal of the same type of 'glorious failure as comedy' with Eastbound And Down recently, but that show always managed to be over the top in the delivery of the pathetic life of the people involved, which to me gives the viewer the okay that it's just a show, not some poor bastard's day to day life. Louie on the other hand just felt very realistic in its approach to the day to day lives of these lower middle class people, which to me was probably too real at times.

The evening rolled around and the wife and I decided to pass on the traditional barbecue meal for Memorial Day, instead making some spaghetti and meatballs for our dinner. I Swear Ta God It's Not As Corny As This DVD Art Might Lead You To Believe... The meal turned out really well and we watched a Korean film from director Kim Ji-woon, The Good, The Bad And The Weird. The film is set during the 30's in Manchuria and comes across like a Sergio Leone western mixed with all the best adventure elements of the original Indiana Jones films. The action bits (of which there are three major ones as the three titular characters try to find a treasure map) are simply stunning, from the train heist that opens the film to the final desert chase, it's all visually arresting stuff that I highly recommend tracking down if you get the chance.

The film ended after 10:00, so we called it a night pretty quickly afterward because it was getting late.

Be seeing you.

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

Cinematic Sunday Eighty-Nine

Again foregoing the usual boring daily shite in favor of a few trailers and me on my merry way, mostly because no one cares about my life, but they may care about something visual (that's not too abysmal), like a movie trailer or three.

First up we have Guy Ritchie's new film, Sherlock Holmes, which stars Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes and Jude Law as Watson. I have no real attachment to the source material, so I can't speak for accuracy of portrayal, but I'm hoping this continues the RocknRolla styled comeback for the man, as I really like all the parties involved here. Check it:



Next we have Surrogates, from director Jonathan Mostow. It's set in a world in which people only interact through robot surrogates from the comfort of their homes, but when several deaths occur via the deaths of peoples' surrogates, Bruce Willis must spring into action as his own damn self to get to the bottom of things. I for one am a 100% behind him doing it as himself, because it means they drop the goofy wig he's wearing at some point in the film.



Finally we have something that could be considered old news, since the trailer has been out for abit now, and it's even been taking some lumps with the Cannes audiences, but dammit, I'm still on board for Lars von Trier's new film Anti-Christ. It stars Willem DaFoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg as a couple who retreat to the woods to try and work on their fractured marriage and then things go apeshit.



I'm out kids.

Be seeing you.

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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Shall I Call You New Daddy?

Today was the day of the wife's leadership retreat for the organization that she took the presidency of earlier this week. Actually 'took presidency of' sounds like she and some rebels overran the organization in a small coup; perhaps I should more accurately say that she assumed her role as president of, just for the purpose of any court cases that this blog post is entered into evidence in.

Thusly involved, she was out of the house for most of the day. I slept like a rock after my early morning yesterday until around 10:30 today, then got up and got the Yorkie fed before checking e-mail and poking around the web a bit.

The one thing I had planned for today was to pick up some flowers for the wife in celebration of her recent presidential success, so I headed out to pick those up. I don't normally brave the grocery store on a Saturday because of all the people, but figured how bad can it be? I found myself instantly regretting this decision when I walk up to the 'express' lane with about nine people standing in it, shifting from one foot to the other in an agitated manner. I finally got out of there and picked up a couple burritos for lunch, then headed home.

I took the time to arrange the roses before I ate, because though I wasn't expecting the wife home anytime soon, I knew that with my luck if I just sat down to eat, I'd still be munching away with the flowers laying in their plastic on the counter when she suddenly walked in. I was rather pleased with the roses once I got them in the container, as they are a two-toned color that the wife really likes, and actually came in dozen with some filler that was easily added to the arrangement.

I've added a cheesy happy hardcore song here, just because I've always loved the way it sounds and I'm very happy for and proud of my wife this week.



The mail brought no new review material and the TiVo was recording part of a marathon of a short lived anthology called Night Visions that Henry Rollins hosted back in the early 2000's or so, so I figured what the hell and just chilled in the den watching that for a bit.

Once the wife got home around 3:00 and had time to ooh and aah over the flowers we both watched some television together for awhile. She also came bearing news that the Mother In Law had requested that we have dinner with she and her new beau at 5:30 in the Christing evening, presumably because they have to be up early tomorrow to begin planting the South forty or something. Seriously, why the fuck do the elderly want to eat dinner so early, especially these two, who I know for a fact both are night owls? It's just weird.

We met them there and had a pleasant meal, it's very nice to see the MIL out and about, not acting like a total fruitcake and being escorted by a man who she seems to have a nice rapport with. He's a really nice guy, and I haven't heard him say anything that threw up any flags in my mind yet, so for now I'm in approval of this relationship endeavor; plus he seems to be having a good effect on her.

The wife and I grabbed a coffee after dinner, then took a leisurely drive back to the house, watched a bit more tube, then called it a night.

Be seeing you.

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Friday, May 22, 2009

The Wife Is Like A Ship In The Night

Since this week's posts have been almost entirely constructed of odd tangents and observations, I figure why would today be any different, so for starters let me just say that I've barely seen my wife the past two days, and she's only been president of this organization since Tuesday evening, which I've begun to wonder may be an ill portent of things to come.

I sat bolt upright in bed at 6:20 this morning for no apparent reason, went and pissed and tried to go back to sleep. After laying there like a schmuck for about 20 minutes I just gave up and figured that today was as good as any to try and get my sleeping schedule back to normal, so I just got up and started writing a review in the office and poking around the web a bit.

I Am Shiva, The God Of DeathThe wife got up around 9:30 or so, and since she needed the PC to work on some more of her printing for the albums she's putting together, I logged off there and retired to the bedroom with my coffee. I watched a Blu-ray copy of Michael Clayton on the old PS3, courtesy of those rental throttling pricks at Netfux. I really enjoyed the flick, I'm glad I finally got around to seeing it at long last, it's totally worth a look if you haven't seen it.

I picked up some Chinese for lunch since the wife was going to be out running several errands, then ate while flipping through some different stuff on television.

I took the time during the afternoon to finish the Pocketpedia thing, adding the final two shelves of DVD into the iPhone, so I now have basically my entire movie collection to refer to via the app on the phone when I'm out bargain hunting.

The wife and I caught up a little in the evening and I found out that our friend Brian, who has been finally dating a girl over the past month still has yet to even hold her hand after, like FIVE dates or something. This leads me to believe that he is actually just hanging out with her rather than dating her, whether he realizes this or not. I understand that some people aren't very touchy-feely, but if you can't even feel comfortable enough with this broad to even hold her hand, the odds are you aren't going to see her naked unless you're in the tree outside her bedroom late one night. Not that sex is his driving force, he's much more interested in debating out possible futures with weddings or children to really consider chemistry and (God forbid) sexual attraction. On the other hand, I have no idea what's going through this woman's mind, so who the fuck really knows, perhaps she's just after companionship as well? I don't get it, that's all I'm saying.

I'm beat, so I'm calling it an early night.

Be seeing you.

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Thursday, May 21, 2009

I Can Now Shit With Impunity!

Hmmn, the computer is acting a little sketchy this evening, loading video slowly, or giving me a weird stutter in iTunes when a page loads in Firefox. I wonder if I'm missing an update for the 'fox or something.

Oh well, now I'm just thinking aloud so to speak, so fuck that noise, here's the minor things that happened today.

The wife spent a good deal of the day tied up with her charity stuff, as she had to print up the materials for and put together the notebooks for her board that's meeting on Saturday, so she was trying to get all that nonsense done so she wouldn't be stressing it tomorrow.

I watched The Darjeeling Limited because it turned up in the mail from those rental throttling pricks at Netfux. I wasn't exactly in the mood for it, but I wanted to keep the rotation going and figured what the hell, I wanted to see it at least a little bit to have in on the queue, right?

Wacky Color Saturated Indian HijinxIt was a decent flick, though I think I might've liked it a little more had I been more in the mood for Wes Anderson's typically navel-gazing style of film-making, filled with quirky characters that no one ever knocks the shit out of. I'm thinking specifically of Owen Wilson at this point, but that could be interchangeable for the other characters I suppose. The real pleasant surprise was the Natalie Portman nudity in the little short film before the feature, that was something I'd seen stills of on the web (as one does) and then promptly forgot about, so that was kinda cool.

I ran a quick trip by the post office to drop off some mail, which of course meant that the plumbers finally showed up, without calling my cell first as they'd been instructed. The wife had a meeting to be at in the late afternoon/early evening, so I had to race back home to meet them so she could leave for her meeting.

The plumbers were literally there a whopping 20 minutes to re-set the toilet and reseal it, then snake the drain to get things moving properly. I'm wondering if we might have root issues, as there's a tree directly behind the bedroom that I imagine would play hell with plumbing.

The wife was basically gone for the evening, so I got some writing done, including a couple of new reviews here and here over at the old Big Suck Loser, so check into that at your earliest convenience.

I wasted the rest of my evening with the second disc of Space Ghost Coast To Coast Volume 3, then caught up a bit with the wife when she finally got in, then she retired to the bedroom and I to the office to do this stupid shit again.

Be seeing you.

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Wrist Deep In Poopy

Slept in today, spent some time catching up online since the wife was at a meeting, then ended up watching a movie so I could return it to those rental throttling pricks at Netfux later in the afternoon.

Dante 01 is a French sci-fi film by Marc Caro, in which a new arrival is transferred to a space station that serves as a psychiatric detention center. He begins to exhibit supernatural powers, healing prisoners who are fatally wounded in fights with one another, and in one specific case, removing the nanotechnology from a prisoner that's nearly killing him. The film looks great, it's moody and stylish, but it manages to end up in something like Danny Boyle's Sunshine territory by the final reel, as it gets a little too metaphysical for its own good. Worth a rental, but nothing I think I need to re-watch numerous times, though even as I write that I'm thinking I should give Sunshine another day in court, as I recall liking it, but that it fell apart in the latter half.

I picked up food for the wife and I, we watched The Body Snatcher, starring Boris Karloff as the titular character, courtesy of the Val Lewton boxset. The wife seems to really enjoy the older classic horror films (she really loved I Walked With A Zombie, even watched it without me being around), so she dug this as well. I'm happy, as her enjoyment of the other film was what prompted me to purchase the Lewton set.

The wife spent some time afterward dicking around getting some notebooks together for one of her charities, as she has a leadership retreat thing this coming weekend. I picked up the house a little bit, sorting through the junk mail that had started to stack up, filing away a good deal of it for the recycling bin.

Still On The Fence With This One...The evening crept in and I popped in Laid To Rest, something I'd been meaning to watch for a few week's now. Relatively decent slasher as far as the gore quotient goes, the plotting is somewhat suspect, as the people in this film seem to be completely removed from the modern world of computers and cellphones, or even a full tank of gas to get them the hell out of the sticks and into a real city where help might be waiting. The killer is known as Chromeskull, and he's creepy looking enough, though his shoulder-mounted camera shtick (used to tape his kills) brings to mind a guy with a parrot hanging around, which isn't creepy, just silly, so that's a little detrimental to the guy's image. The flick is okay, I actually thought that I might want to re-watch it at some point in the next month or so just to make up my mind about what I think of it. There's several strikes against it, but it's also got a lot of nice set pieces and gore to recommend it, so I'm kinda torn. I may or may not review it soon, just because I took the notes.

The wife was headed towards the bedroom while I watched a few episodes of Space Ghost Coast To Coast on DVD, then she came back in and said that there was an issue with the toilet in the master bath. Long story short, the toilet is backed up, so I started trying to plunge it with this army surplus plunger that might've been in the family for generations, but to no avail. The plunger actually came the fuck apart, shredded into two pieces in mid-plunge, so I ended up having to drag out a bucket and just dip the damned water out to keep the water from trying to seep from the seal, which had already started to pool slightly. I finally got both the bowl and the tank emptied, the water turned off so that it wouldn't try to re-fill itself then called it a night and tried to get the twitch out of my back that had developed as I hunched over the toilet drawing water for the past 15 minutes.

I'm off to listen to the recording of a (Cool) Shite feedback show and surf the web a bit to unwind from spending my evening slopping through shit.

Be seeing you.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Choked Down By My Own Cravat

I had some horrible sinus issues last night, which drove me from the comfort of my bed at 4:00 in the morning, barely able to breathe. This led to coughing, which grew so violent I actually vomited a bit, which is a thrilling way to start any day, right?

I finally got my stomach and coughing settled down enough to take an allergy pill (as I assumed the past weekend's bit of rain what what threw my sinuses for a loop) and then resigned myself to being up for awhile until I got the stupid tickle in my lungs relaxed enough to try and sleep. I knew from previous experience that just going straight back to bed would do nothing but aggravate the situation if I just lay back down and hoped for the best, so I grabbed the new Rue Morgue and headed to the den where I read for just over an hour, pausing occasionally to go and cough up some of the drainage. I know, vivid, right?

The wife, who had woken up during my vomiting bout, she was having issues of her own, as she couldn't get back to sleep, even going so far as to move into the guest bedroom in hopes that the change of venue would allow her to go back to sleep. This wasn't the case, so she joined me in the bedroom again after I returned to the bed and we both settled in, mentioning aloud that since she had a special function Tuesday evening that of course we'd both feel like shit for it.

The doorbell rang at about eight minutes past 8:00 AM, waking us both and the Yorkie went nuts as it was obviously a delivery of some sort. We both ignored it, fighting our way back towards sleep and eventually got up much later. The wife had finally given up around noon, but i seriously slept until 2:00 in the fucking afternoon, which is just ridiculous.

He's Having A RelapseI got up and was surprised to still be a little congested, the drainage was still bothering me more than I expected. I showered and ran an errand to Best Buy to pick up a few things, including the new Eminem album Relapse, just for shits and giggles to see if it was a return to form or if he should've hung it up for good. The singles I've heard have been hit (We Made You) or miss (Crack A Bottle) so far, so I'm curious to give it a listen and see what's up.

The wife was accepting the leadership of one of her charities this evening, and I had been asked to attend with her (it's a ladies organization, but the president can bring their spouse), decked out in a suit and tie for the occasion. I got dressed, then fought the Goddamned tie to a standstill for about 20 minutes before finally getting it to look right. I'm not sure why the tie is such a baffling ordeal, but it's definitely something I need more of a mastery of, as each random occasion I have to wear one is always a pain in the ass and is met with a dread akin to surgery on my balls or something.

Also, as my congestion was already leaving me feeling short of breath it was easy to imagine the odd sensation of the tie choking me the fuck to death during the salad portion of dinner.

The evening passed easily, the mixer bit before the dinner was fine, I chitchatted with this or that friend of the wife's then sat with some of them while the wife had to be on the little dais thing for the evening's presentation. The only really noteworthy thing to mention was when we were standing near the little wine bar they had set up in the foyer, where they wife and I had stopped to grab a glass of wine. They wife had turned to speak to another woman, her back to me, so I was waiting for their conversation to end and just sort of scanning the room for familiar faces when two young women (new recruits to the organization) walked up and the first one asks me if she can get a glass of white wine.

Mind you, I'm standing there with my own glass in my hand, with a napkin under the glass.

I said "Excuse me?", because I was actually sort of perplexed, thinking that maybe she asked if they had white wine or something like that.

"Can I get a glass of white wine?" then she paused, as I'm sure I must've raised an eyebrow or something, 'cause then she asks "I'm sorry, are you serving?"

"No, I'm actually here with my wife, " I said, indicating the wife, y'know, the incoming president of the organization this dip just joined. "But I can pour you a glass if you like..."

She backpedaled at this point, apologizing and helping herself to her own glass, but it was an amusing exchange to be sure, as the wife and I got to re-tell the story several times over the course of the evening. I suppose being dressed up in a room full of women is just an easy way to look like a waiter.

Or at least the shitty type of waiter who's drinking with the clientele.

The wife and I headed home late, chilled out with the Yorkie for a bit and visited about the day, then called it a night.

I certainly hope we both get more rest tonight than we did last night.

Be seeing you.

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Monday, May 18, 2009

So What Is The Parliamentary Procedure For All Of You People Just Getting Fucked?

There wasn't a lot going on today, I piddled around the house a bit with some cleaning and chores, then wife did some light grocery shopping and had a meeting in the late afternoon.

More than anything though, my poor wife was having a lousy day, as she got into an e-mail argument with some guy on the board of one of the organizations she volunteers for and was been kinda down most of the time that she was home. I feel really bad for her, as it's a real kick in the ass to volunteer to spend your time doing something only to have someone shit all over your day for your troubles.

The gist of it was that the wife got an email from someone that appeared to have overstepped their place in the pecking order of the organization by sending out an e-mail to be voted on over the past weekend. This being an issue he's stepped on her toes with before, she e-mailed the dude back mentioning that hey, by the way, this should have been run by her before he sent it out in the normal run of things. He shoots back with something about having someone else's permission to have done it (because the wife had to miss the meeting in question), and that if she wanted to go back over the voting routine, he could send something out recanting and "delay the voting process further" (italics mine). Now me, I'd tell this guy that it's great to actually know that he had permission, and that I was simply making sure he was minding his 'P's and 'Q's in the order of things. Oh, and by the way, fuck you.

My wife on the other hand was on the verge of apologizing to the fucker, which I was able to talk her out of, settling for instead just agreeing that he was in the right in his procedure and leaving it at that, though I think she threw in something about thanking him for what he does for the organization or some shit. My wife just can't be a cunt when it's called for, and it drives me nuts sometimes.

Things like this are exactly why I could never do what the wife does, as I can put on a smile and deal with virtually anything, but if decided to give of my time and stress levels to some organization and then started running into this type of vaguely dismissive and snide bullshit, I'd be done within a week. I'd hate to end up stabbing someone in the neck with a pen at a board meeting and then not getting invited back, y'know? I just know enough about my personality to know that the slightest sticking point would probably end up being a deal breaker for me, as there's nothing keeping me involved in one of these charities except the kindness of my heart, which is generally in short supply to begin with.

This is precisely why I prefer to do any and all charitable involvement via check, because no one ever says no to cash, now do they?

Anyway, end rant.

The wife was out of the house for the afternoon, so I watched a movie I'd picked up awhile back after The Gentlemen's Guide To Midnite Cinema had covered it, a Henry Silva/Barbara Bouchet flick called Cry Of A Prostitute. Gee, I Wonder If The Broad Fellating A Banana On The Cover Is The Whore In Question? It's a decent little flick, moving along at a good pace and featuring Silva in a full flop sweat at any given time, it's pretty fucking funny actually. He takes off a jacket and it looks like he's been hit with a hose or something, evidently the Italian countryside isn't as inviting as you'd think if you're wearing a big old blue bellbottomed suit in the middle of Summer. Bouchet is hot as always, cast here as the boozy sexbomb wife of a mobster who hooks up with Silva for some violent sex. I found this pretty weird, as Silva (while slightly more presentable than the other men in the film) just has a grouchy, hateful sociopathic countenance all the time, it's almost comical.

The wife and I ordered in sandwiches for dinner and watched the season finale of Desperate Housewives before calling it a night around 10:00. She retired to the bedroom to unwind with some Martha Stewart while I vented my frustration about her situation to an uncaring web.

Be seeing you.

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Sunday, May 17, 2009

Cinematic Sunday Eighty-Eight

So I'm trying something new for the next few weeks with the Sunday post, just to see how it goes.

Or Read A Book, Whatever, It's Your Life.I don't necessarily see a lot of traffic to the blog anyway, and taking the time to dick around with the trailers (which I enjoy doing, but can be rather time consuming) usually means a hellaciously late night in addition to updating the usual mundane daily details, so for the next few weeks I may just be dropping the trailers and shit in and leaving it at that.

Sunday is a day of rest, after all. Read your Bible, ya fuckin' heathens.

First up, just because I finally got around to seeing JCVD recently I figured I'd use a film written, directed and starring the Muscles from Brussels himself, Jean-Claude Van Damme. The film is called The Eagle Path and features Van Damme as a former military/mercenary type turned cabbie who takes an interest in a particularly gorgeous young woman he picks up as a fare. He begins trying to make her life better, evidently against her will, and ends up calling in military buddies to help him free her from her current life. Since she seems so puzzled/frustrated by his interest, I'm guessing that this is something along the lines of Travis Bickle trying to 'save' people rather than him protecting a new girlfriend or something, but that's just me speculating.



Next we have Humpday, from director Lynn Shelton, in which two college buddies reconnect ten years after college and find themselves in a crazy mutual dare, in which they will enter an amateur porn contest by making a film together. Yes, a puzzling turn of events, and I'll be curious to see if it's Mark Duplass or Joshua Leonard who turns out to be a bottom. My money is on the guy with 'ass' in his name, just because I'm predictably crass and snide.



Finally we have Dread, based on the Clive Barker short story of the same name and directed by Anthony DiBlasi. It's about a guy named Quaid, who wants to study the effects of fear on others in an attempt to come to grips with his own. He conduct a series of experiments on his fellow students to see what happens when they are confronted with their greatest fears. The following clip contains a trailer, as well as behind the scenes bits, giving a little info about the production.



And I'm out.

Be seeing you.

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Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Not Happening

Basically nothing happened today kids, so let's do this dance so I can go the fuck to bed.

The wife had to be up and running around 8:00 this morning, so I tried to sleep in after she left, only to have the rain outside start pouring for about 2 hours and keep me vaguely in and out of sleep. I'm not a rain person, some find it relaxing, I find that sound irritating when I'm trying to sleep. I'm weird, don't bother to comment.

I finally got caught up on my sleep and got up around noon, then dressed and went to pick up some Thai food for lunch. The rain had passed, but the day was overcast and grey, which isn't exactly conducive to the outdoor event the wife was volunteering at, as it needs to be a certain temperature outside for their beer and concessions sales to hit the levels they need them to, so that kinda sucks.Jackie Rocks

I ate and watched the copy of Police Story 2 that I had on hand courtesy of those rental throttling pricks at Netfux. Again, Chan doesn't disappoint, so I may watch the third film in the series (Supercop) tomorrow, since it is available via the instant viewing option on the Netfux site. I don't know that there will be a subtitled option, so that could be annoying, but I'm curious to see it since the other two are fresh in my mind.

We Got Some Local Boys That'll Shut You Down...The wife got to spend a few hours back at the house, we visited a bit and then she headed back around 6:00 for her final shift of the day, which involved selling tickets for the concession stands. I watched Two-Lane Blacktop, a film I've always heard about but had never seen. It turned up on TCM Underground awhile back, so it was sitting on the TiVo just waiting for the wild hair. I'm not sure I 'got' the flick exactly, as I'm not much of a car guy, but the slow and meandering look at the guys as they make their way through the South, making money off drag racing with the locals they encounter was surprisingly engaging, especially considering how little is actually going on at any given time. When they get into a race for pink slips with Warren Oates in his GTO, things become slightly tense, but that relaxes a bit as they start helping each other out in spite of being in a 'race' to Washington DC. The film is interesting, though a slow burn, which could put you off if you go in expecting some sort of chase/caper film. It's certainly worth a look.

I started working on this little post while listening to last week's episode of The Gentlemen's Guide to Midnite Cinema, then the wife got home and we caught up on her evening for awhile before she crashed out for the night.

Be seeing you.

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