The wife had been unable to avoid lunch plans with her annoying friend Blather
, who was in town for whatever reason this weekend, so she was up and out of the house for an early lunch with her this morning, allowing me to sleep in and chill.
She was getting back in as I was heading out the door to go and drop something in the mail, as well as checking out a sale I read about in a circular from today's newspaper. We paused for a few, caught up a bit on her lunch (which was, as always, mostly about whatever drama her loser friend Blather had brought on herself
), then I split to run my quick errands while she checked e-mail and stuff.
I found the item I wanted from the sale, the first season of Weeds
, so maybe now I can get the wife interested in the show as well. I think she'd really dig it, but she's not the 'sitting around watching on the laptop' type of person, whereas I don't mind watching it slowly each night before bed in that manner. Oh well, for $15 for the first season, I figured it was a decent enough bargain to bite on the series finally.
I headed back home and the wife and I were just sitting around shooting the shit about her lunch some more, as her friend always has a ridiculously large amount of shit going on in her life, including her pending divorce, her new boyfriend and some other
dude who she's flirted with online in the past, y'know, just in case the first dick doesn't work out, right?
We were planning to see the Mother In Law
and possibly the Middle Sister
and her family for an early supper this evening, and were basically debating our options to kill the next few hours until we were set to meet them when the phone rings.
I was closer to the phone, so the wife asked if I'd answer it, as it was from Grandmother's
house, which we assumed was someone canceling on dinner.
You never want to receive a panicked call from an elderly woman, because the odds are it's either A) an actual emergency and who wants to deal with that
or B) she's freaking out and overreacting to something that could have as easily been ignored until later. Grandmother
was in a tizzy because the MIL
had fallen at her (Grandmother's
) home, and couldn't get up out of the floor, so she needed me to come and help her immediately.
The wife and I headed over there, the MIL
is indeed in the floor, and she's on the fucking phone for whatever reason
, talking a mile a minute to the Middle Sister
, describing the scenario in which she happened to fall, which she was chalking up to medication making her shaky and dizzy. Grandmother
hovered over her, virtually wringing her hands in distress and telling her what to tell the Middle Sister
about what happened, then instructing her to hang up the phone so that I could help her up.
I debated saying motherfuck this whole situation and calling 911 from my car on the cell as we drove back to the house, but instead bit my tongue and waited for the MIL
to get the hell off the phone and Grandmother
to get out from underfoot so I could get her daughter out of the floor.
was indeed shaky, but she could stand well enough, and I sat her on the nearby couch, where she calmed down, which cleared the shakiness up almost completely, so I think most of that was simply adrenaline or nerves after the fall. It turned out she'd basically slid off the couch, falling to the floor on her ass, spilling coffee in the process as she reached for something and lost her balance. This was a relief, as I'd imagined her tripping and tumbling to the floor or something, this scenario sounded as though she might be a little sore, but hadn't really had the chance to do much damage, thank you God
Ot was about this point that Grandmother
finally tells us that in her own insistence to help, she'd tried to pull the MIL
from the floor before we'd gotten there, only to have the MIL
pull her into the floor with her. I inwardly facepalm myself at the image of this 90 pound little woman trying to deadlift her 150 pound daughter and thank God
again that no one is being carted off to the damned hospital after all their shenanigans. Since the MIL
had a chance to rest and settle her feelings a bit, I asked her to stand so that I could walk her to her car, which the wife would drive to her house while I followed in our vehicle. Grandmother
immediately starts in telling me how I need to keep a hand on her to make sure she doesn't fall again, which I immediately shut down by saying "Now look, don't start backseat driving me here, I was at least able to get her ass out of the floor, and I betcha I can get her into that Lexus
out front without spilling any blood either!"
The women in this family, aside from my wife, can be frustratingly controlling, even though they don't want to do things themselves, and I've found that the best way to deal with them is being almost painfully blunt, but played slightly as humor, so the point gets across, but I don't appear to be a total asshole. Grandmother
backed off and we got the hell out of there.
deposited safely at home and even getting around without me posted by her elbow, we felt okay leaving her alone in her bed to chill.
The wife and I picked up some dinner on the way home, then chilled out with some random television, including a TiVo
'd program called The Spaghetti West
, which was a nice overview of the genre and how it came about in Italy
during the 60's. I knew a bit about the subject, but it's always interesting to see some behind the scenes bits as well. It's a Blue Underground
production, so I have a feeling that it's a bonus feature on some DVD
they've produced in the past (as even the title sounds familiar), though I have no idea which one.
And now here I am, making with the hunting and pecking again.
Be seeing you.Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Annoying Friends
, Family Drama
, The Spaghetti West
, Blue Underground
Labels: Annoyance, Blu-ray, Blue Underground, Drama, Family, Friends, Shopping, Television, The Spaghetti West, TiVo, Weeds