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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

If You Mention Porno, They Will Come

The blog traffic has been steadily increasing over the past week, and it's all due to weird hits based around porno-related questions, so welcome perverts! You will be disappointed.

I did very little today, which seems to be the theme of my life these days, though I did get a small chunk of writing done on a couple of reviews. I used to approach that only when I felt like I could get the entire review knocked out in one sitting, but of late I've found that it's easier to just make a pass at it, see what amount of detail I come up with, then approach it at a later date to clean up typos and rework anything that doesn't make sense. This happens frequently, as I notice sentences that start out as a single thought eventually end up being a paragraph-long run-on sentence without my even realizing it.

The wife and I chilled in the afternoon while I popped in a film I have for review, a flick from Wayne Kramer called Crossing Over. Immigration Is Difficult It's an ensemble piece in the vein of something like Crash, though I certainly didn't get as annoyed with this film as I did with Crash, which beat me over the head with the message that racism is bad until I wanted to hit the director with a pipe. I suppose you could say that this film is very similar to Crash, except swapping immigration for racism, as all the disparate characters eventually come together over some issue that they have with immigration to this country, but it manages to do it without being as heavy handed about things.

Having just written that sentence, I notice that Rotten Tomatoes has completely shat all over this film, as it stands at an 11% fresh, which is really abysmal and I'm not sure why. They all seem to hate the fact that there are coincidences and plot contrivances within the film, which is what drives films like Short Cuts, and made me almost angry about something like Crash, which everyone else evidently loved, at least according to the fucking Oscars, so I don't quite know what people are expecting.

The wife had a meeting in the evening, so I spent some time online listening to a live recording of an Outside The Cinema bonus show with Miles from ShowShow, and then cleaned up the kitchen and did some dishes while listening to this week's episode of Night Of The Living Podcast.

The wife and I watched some television after she got home, then called it a night shortly after 10:00.

Be seeing you.

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Monday, June 29, 2009

If It Doesn't Fit In The Box, Don't Ship It In THAT BOX, You Assholes!

Since the weather is going to be on-again, off-again rainy all week my sinuses are driving me crazy in spite of the pill I take to dry all that shit out, so I slept weirdly again last night.

My poor wife had some kinda asinine meeting at 7:00 in the mother-humping morning, so she was well gone by the time my alarm rang and I crawled from the bed. Actually, I lay there in bed for a bit, looking at Twitter and e-mail via the old iPhone, then stumbled to the bathroom to prevent my bladder from popping.

I was on the web when the wife got back around 1:00 in the afternoon. She had been fished into lunch again with her annoying friend Blather, who is in town for a Christing week, so I'm sure I'll get drug to dinner with this bitch at least once, but the wife has been very good about keeping me clear of that so far. The wife and I caught up a bit about the drama in Blather's life, which is still going on with the dude she's currently dating/screwing, and she's not even in the same town with the fucking guy! How can your relationship go downhill when you're not even in the same town with the guy? Her idea is that the guy has a key to her house and might've looked around on her computer and found something incriminating. My wife's comment (to me, not to Blather, unfortunately) was that if she's living right, the guy being on her computer shouldn't be an issue, but oh well, now he's giving her the 'we need to talk when you get back' vibe on the phone, which is freaking her out.

I would say that I wish this bitch would just die, but I think the wife is her first kid's Godmother, and I don't wanna get stuck raising that little asshole, so I'm between a rock and a hate place here.

The week is evidently scheduled out as I mentioned with rain, which means that the roof will possibly be leaking and driving me apeshit, so I made a call to the Roofers, who we'd never heard back from late last week, presumably because my wife had spoken to them last. It's been our annoying experience that a male voice on the phone gets waay more response than a woman calling, and sure enough, the guy we'd been waiting on calls back about ten minutes after I spoke to his boss, made plans to try and see us tomorrow, weather permitting.

This gt us on the subject of the weather, and the roof, and the trip we'd planned to Dallas at the end of next week, to see off a couple friends who are moving to Boston. I was leaning towards that being a bad idea, as the weather, the leaks and not being here to kinda watch over it all fills me with complete dread. I know what it's like to come in to a collapsed ceiling or a flooded floor, and I'd hate to have that shit happen when I'm in the house, much less be stressing about it from five hours away.

I finally made the call on that, deciding that until the roof issue is sorted, we should be here to at least try to maintain the leaks as they might happen, so I called to let our friends know that we wouldn't be making it, leaving the wife to cancel the hotel.

I picked up a late lunch while the wife chilled at the house, then I ate while watching some re-runs off the TiVo from the late afternoon into the evening.

I finally noticed that UPS had dropped off a box from Barnes & Noble around this time and brought it inside to take a peek at the handful of books that I had ordered. Their website has a 50% off sale going right now and I had actualu found enough stuff to qualify for the free shipping, so I was looking forward to my cheap stuff. One of the books I'd ordered was a copy of an issue of The Comics Journal, which has evidently at some point evolved from a normal magazine sized affair to a large, oversized squarebound volume, because that was what was crammed into the box amid the other hardcovers I'd bought. This has become a common issue with Barnes & Noble's shipping department, with anything beyond a single item being in danger of arriving floating around in a box, getting dinged on all corners courtesy of the shipping companies.

This large book was placed on top of a layer of two other books, with a few others placed on top of it, bending the paperback's spine against the side of the box and leaving it slightly warped when I took it out. Seriously, you assholes? You can't even find a box to properly ship this thing, you just stuff it into whatever you have available? I left it on the table with the other books on top of it, which seemed to make it right, but it's still annoying to have to try and repair damage done to a new item done in shipping, by the sellers themselves.

The wife and I re-watched the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, just because I got a wild hair and the wife humors me a lot, so we gave that a peek and then called it a night around 10:00 or so.

Be seeing you.

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Sunday, June 28, 2009

Cinematic Sunday Ninety-Four

It's my day off from the blogging shite, so let's jump into the trailers and then get on with our lives, shall we?

First up we have the new film from The Spierig Brothers (who brought us Undead), in which the majority of the population have become vampires, and are on the brink of running out of a food supply (read: us), so they must try to figure out an alternative food supply, or even becoming human again. Sam Neill, Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe star, keep your eyes peeled for this in January of next fucking year. Seriously, I'm interested to see this, but why in the name of God am I looking at a trailer for it six months in advance of release? Hell, I could be dead by January and never even get to see this turkey! Now I'm depressed.



Secondly, I wanted to show you the trailer for The Box, which is the latest Richard Kelly film and stars Cameron Diaz and James Marsden as parents of an ailing child. Frank Langella turns up as the man who delivers a box to them, assuring them money to help their kid if they only press the button, killing someone they don't know, somewhere in the world. Based on a Richard Matheson short story, this looks interesting to me even though I'm not familiar with the source material. Give it a look, it's at least planned for release this year.



Finally this evening I wanted to mention a new train wreck of a show coming to HBO, and while I don't generally mention television except in passing, this show had me laughing during the trailer. Sin City Mom is about former Cathouse star, brothel worker and pornstar Sunset Thomas and her dysfunctional family, which just looks like a latter day Anna Nicole Smith environment based on the teaser here. Her husband was cracking me up, like Archie Bunker forced to live with these degenerates he barely likes or tolerates. Having watched several seasons of Cathouse on HBO, I was surprised to learn that she had teenagers, as there'd been zero mention of them on that show, but I suppose your kids don't come up all that often when you're negotiating pricing on a three-way with a fat couple from Buffalo who are in town with some cash to blow.



I'm out kids.

Be seeing you.

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Saturday, June 27, 2009

A Pile Of Old Women

The wife had been unable to avoid lunch plans with her annoying friend Blather, who was in town for whatever reason this weekend, so she was up and out of the house for an early lunch with her this morning, allowing me to sleep in and chill.

She was getting back in as I was heading out the door to go and drop something in the mail, as well as checking out a sale I read about in a circular from today's newspaper. We paused for a few, caught up a bit on her lunch (which was, as always, mostly about whatever drama her loser friend Blather had brought on herself), then I split to run my quick errands while she checked e-mail and stuff.

It's Blurry 'Cause Yer High - And 'Cause I Couldn't Find A Decent Looking PicI found the item I wanted from the sale, the first season of Weeds on Blu-ray, so maybe now I can get the wife interested in the show as well. I think she'd really dig it, but she's not the 'sitting around watching on the laptop' type of person, whereas I don't mind watching it slowly each night before bed in that manner. Oh well, for $15 for the first season, I figured it was a decent enough bargain to bite on the series finally.

I headed back home and the wife and I were just sitting around shooting the shit about her lunch some more, as her friend always has a ridiculously large amount of shit going on in her life, including her pending divorce, her new boyfriend and some other dude who she's flirted with online in the past, y'know, just in case the first dick doesn't work out, right?

We were planning to see the Mother In Law, Grandmother and possibly the Middle Sister and her family for an early supper this evening, and were basically debating our options to kill the next few hours until we were set to meet them when the phone rings.

I was closer to the phone, so the wife asked if I'd answer it, as it was from Grandmother's house, which we assumed was someone canceling on dinner.

You never want to receive a panicked call from an elderly woman, because the odds are it's either A) an actual emergency and who wants to deal with that or B) she's freaking out and overreacting to something that could have as easily been ignored until later. Grandmother was in a tizzy because the MIL had fallen at her (Grandmother's) home, and couldn't get up out of the floor, so she needed me to come and help her immediately.

The wife and I headed over there, the MIL is indeed in the floor, and she's on the fucking phone for whatever reason, talking a mile a minute to the Middle Sister, describing the scenario in which she happened to fall, which she was chalking up to medication making her shaky and dizzy. Grandmother hovered over her, virtually wringing her hands in distress and telling her what to tell the Middle Sister about what happened, then instructing her to hang up the phone so that I could help her up.

I debated saying motherfuck this whole situation and calling 911 from my car on the cell as we drove back to the house, but instead bit my tongue and waited for the MIL to get the hell off the phone and Grandmother to get out from underfoot so I could get her daughter out of the floor.

The MIL was indeed shaky, but she could stand well enough, and I sat her on the nearby couch, where she calmed down, which cleared the shakiness up almost completely, so I think most of that was simply adrenaline or nerves after the fall. It turned out she'd basically slid off the couch, falling to the floor on her ass, spilling coffee in the process as she reached for something and lost her balance. This was a relief, as I'd imagined her tripping and tumbling to the floor or something, this scenario sounded as though she might be a little sore, but hadn't really had the chance to do much damage, thank you God.

Ot was about this point that Grandmother finally tells us that in her own insistence to help, she'd tried to pull the MIL from the floor before we'd gotten there, only to have the MIL pull her into the floor with her. I inwardly facepalm myself at the image of this 90 pound little woman trying to deadlift her 150 pound daughter and thank God again that no one is being carted off to the damned hospital after all their shenanigans. Since the MIL had a chance to rest and settle her feelings a bit, I asked her to stand so that I could walk her to her car, which the wife would drive to her house while I followed in our vehicle. Grandmother immediately starts in telling me how I need to keep a hand on her to make sure she doesn't fall again, which I immediately shut down by saying "Now look, don't start backseat driving me here, I was at least able to get her ass out of the floor, and I betcha I can get her into that Lexus out front without spilling any blood either!"

The women in this family, aside from my wife, can be frustratingly controlling, even though they don't want to do things themselves, and I've found that the best way to deal with them is being almost painfully blunt, but played slightly as humor, so the point gets across, but I don't appear to be a total asshole. Grandmother backed off and we got the hell out of there.

The MIL deposited safely at home and even getting around without me posted by her elbow, we felt okay leaving her alone in her bed to chill.

The wife and I picked up some dinner on the way home, then chilled out with some random television, including a TiVo'd program called The Spaghetti West, which was a nice overview of the genre and how it came about in Italy during the 60's. I knew a bit about the subject, but it's always interesting to see some behind the scenes bits as well. It's a Blue Underground production, so I have a feeling that it's a bonus feature on some DVD they've produced in the past (as even the title sounds familiar), though I have no idea which one.

And now here I am, making with the hunting and pecking again.

Be seeing you.

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Friday, June 26, 2009

What Kind Of Party Did You Expect?

I wanted to get up and get some things done this morning, which meant that I managed to stay up later than I had intended last night, then had sinus issues keeping me up even after I went to sleep. I slept like shit, woke up briefly during the lawn guys and the Yorkie having it out, then turned off my alarm and dove back into the pillows.

The wife and I were meant to have lunch with a girlfriend of hers, JH, so I finally forced myself from the bed when the wife got home at 12:00 or so. We caught up a bit while I dressed and shaved, then we headed out for lunch.

The wife has had a rough week, so she surprised me by requesting the wine list as we were seated, then ordering a bottle of wine. She and I were a good way into that bottle by the time JH joined us, and we ended up finishing a second bottle before the meal was done. We dropped JH back at her work across the shopping center, then I drove us home, pleasantly buzzed.

The wife napped in the bedroom, avoiding any more shitty calls from anyone in her family or her volunteer stuff, and I chilled out in the den and watched some more of the first season of The X-Files, actually nodding off during one of those for about half an hour.

What Did You Expect, Really?The wife was kind enough to pick up some dinner for us in the evening, and then we watched a Netfux film called Murder Party, which was another recommendation from the Night Of The Living Podcast people from waaay back that finally crept to the top of the queue. Actually it made its way near the top of the queue, 'cause for whatever reason Netfux has all of the new release and cult type movies I have in the queue listed as 'short' or 'long wait', effectively making the top 30 (!) movies I wanna see just a pipe-dream that I doubt will ever happen, as the 'wait' status of any kind with Netfux generally means suck it.

But I digress. Murder Party was a pretty fun film, about a lonely guy who happens upon an invitation to a 'murder party', which he just assumes is a Halloween affair. He soon finds out that it's being held by a pretentious group of art students who want to kill whoever is stupid enough to turn up to something called a 'murder party' as part of their art, and the rest of the film is buildup to them doing him in, and there's a lot of humorous bits along the way. Give it a look.

The wife headed to bed and I to the web to dick around with this stuff.

Be seeing you.

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Yea, Though I Walk Through The Valley Of Zealots...

I spent the day in Odessa, dragging Macguffin around while I looked for movies at a couple of stores. That's basically how I spent my day today, then headed home to see what the wife was up to.

My poor wife had a long day full of frustrations with the various executive directors of the organizations she is on the board of, and after I got home and we got into a quasi-argument of our own, we finally had a welcome distraction: the death of the King of Pop. My wife was puzzlingly upset by this, even though I've never heard her play a single note of the man's music in the five years we've been together.

I let her watch the round the clock coverage of people listening to his music and dancing in the streets while newscasters repeated the fact that he was dead and interviewed people who knew him and I popped in the earbuds and made us dinner while listening to an older SModcast.

Jesus  Loves Me This I Know, 'Cause The Creepy Pastor Tells Me SoOnce the food was ready, the wife was willing to take a break from her deathwatch and allow me to pop in Jesus Camp, a documentary that had arrived from Netfux this afternoon.

Jesus Camp looks at the extreme religious right, most specifically the Evangelicals in and around Missouri, who are setting their sights on the children as 'warriors' for Christ and send them off to a church camp to train them as such. Y'see, this next generation is here to save us from abortion and all the other evils of the world, and they must be made ready in hour after hour of worship, some of which shows the children involved crying, presumably from excitement or happiness at being saved. It's quite a viewing experience, as I've never been all that hellfire and brimstone myself, and thus find the early brainwashing of these kids a tad creepy. This is especially evident when they compare their tactics to foreign countries training their youngsters to use machine guns or carry bombs, as if they are creating their own little mindless soldiers.

Oh, and as laid back as I am, I was fairly outraged that these hellfire and brimstone types eventually attend some kinda contemporary church run by Ted Haggard (before the scandals drug him into the limelight in a more unflattering light), which even has a DJ scratching at a fucking record during one of their live music numbers.

Seriously? You wanna be scratching and mixing in the house of the Lord sir? I'm as open minded as the next guy, but I guess I like my religion a bit more old fashioned than a Limp Bizkit concert, so get the fuck out of here with yer turntable Emo boy, or else I'ma go all Jesus vs. the money lenders on you and start whipping asses left right and center!

Anyway, it's an interesting film, but also slightly unnerving as it shows how strangely single (and closed) minded a good amount of the American population is. Give it a look if you have the chance, and I believe it's still up for instant viewing on Netfux if you have that option available to you.

It's been something of a long day, so I'm calling it a night.

Be seeing you.

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Oh, Sony, At Least Buy Me Dinner First...

The maid was scheduled for this morning, so I got up with the alarm in spite of only abut 5 hours sleep, figuring I'd rather be up and moving when she arrived than still laying in bed.

I made my typical interweb rounds while drinking a pot of coffee, the maid arrived and set about her routine.

I made a call to a Sony hotline after getting an e-mail reply to a query I sent them last night. I have been registering the Sony Blu-ray titles I buy on their site, because they offer a $10 coupon to you after you register a certain number, which can be used towards a Blu-ray purchased from their website. That's all well and good, but their online pricing is basically full retail price, because they're still sore about losing out to VHS in the 80's or something, which means that the cheapest item they sell is $30 or more. I finally found a Blu-ray I was willing to let them fuck me on, as even using the coupon meant that I'd be out of pocket $20, but oh well, I'd be done with this coupon nonsense and probably stop registering the discs, 'cause it's obviously not worth it in the long run.

Only their site wouldn't accept their coupon code. I requested help via e-mail and went to bed, only to wake to a reply telling me to call a service number, 'cause they can't help via e-mail with whatever issue I'm having. I call and spend about 10 minutes on the phone with a dude who explains what I'd sorta feared all along. The code is only for use on certain discs (and the link in their original e-mail doesn't bother to take you to those specific discs, because fuck making anything simple, right?), and when he ran through the list over the phone, the few titles I might be interested in all turned out to be the Blu-rays they have priced at a whopping $40 or thereabouts, essentially making the coupon completely worthless. The coupon has no expiration date, which he assured me meant it is good for whenever I get around to using it, and said that the random list of titles changes periodically, so I guess I'll just leave it in the e-mail and hope that at some point in the future I'll have occasion to use it, but damn Sony, really? Really?

End rant.

The wife had a meeting and a few errands, so she left to do that and I chilled in the office and watched a newly arrived film from Netfux, a little horror film called End Of The Line. I'd heard a very favorable review of it on Night Of The Living Podcast awhile back, and it was finally released on DVD a few weeks back, and made its way to my door. It's The End Of The World As We Know It, And I'm Stuck In This Fucking Subway The tale of a group of people who happen to be on a subway train the night a bunch of religious zealots decide to go about 'setting them free', all with knives they keep hidden on their persons. Told somewhat from the point of view of a nurse named Karen, it's more of an ensemble piece in which a disparate group is pitted against the nuts. You also have several of the religious types getting cold feet or who turn out to be downright evil on their own and using the end of the world as their carte blance to do whatever they want, adding some tension or drama to things. The special effects are great, and the film is quite intriguing, leaving just enough doubt in the viewers mind as to whether or not certain things are really happening to possibly warrant repeat viewings and discussions of the film. Check it out.

The wife and I ate a late lunch while watching some stuff off the TiVo, the maid split finally and the wife caught a nap while I ran by the post office to mail some stuff.

I broke out the weights in the late afternoon and kinda forced myself to do that routine, though I warmed to the idea once I got started. The newer tweaks I've added left my shoulders feeling a little twitchy, so I figure I'm doing something right.

Jacky Wu Is The Man, The Cops Shoulda Never Had A Chance!I started a flick that the wife came in on the middle of, a Hong Kong action flick called Invisible Target. It stars Jacky Wu opposite Jackie Chan's son (which surprised me, where the hell have I been that I didn't know he had a son?) Jaycee Chan in a martial arts/action type film that has some really amazing fight scenes, even if the overall affair feels as though you could edit it slightly without losing anything but some padded bits that are meant to tug at the heartstrings with sentimentality that feels kinda out of place. Jacky Wu is fucking AMAZING, it takes all three of the leads playing his cop rivals to make a convincing fight sequence against him, otherwise he outpaces them time and again.

We also watched a few more episodes of The X-Files, then called it a night around 10:00.

Be seeing you.

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Truth Is Out There

We didn't hear a thing from the roofers who were supposed to send another guy over to take a look at things, so I see us following up with them tomorrow.

I got up late and was in the process of scrolling through some e-mail on the iPhone when I heard from the wife, who asked if I wanted to meet her for lunch. I figured what the hell, as I'd otherwise be just sitting around the house all day. We had a nice lunch at this quiet place we've visited more than a few times just because it rarely seems to get all that busy, so it's not as noisy and hectic as it could be at the lunch hour, a big selling point for me.

Clap For The KillersThe wife headed home to catch some kinda conference call, and I hit up Best Buy to pick up a cheap copy of the new Tom Morello project, Street Sweeper Social Club, since I heard a couple songs off it on the web, and it's only $7.99 this week. I also hit up Barnes & Noble, and was pleasantly surprised to also find the new issue of Horrorhound Magazine waiting for me.

I also found the same counter woman I despise waiting for me at the check out area, which is always frustrating. This is a middle aged woman who is as nice as she can be, but she also follows every little rule the store must have about mentioning any promotions the store has, etc., which basically makes even the simplest transaction a 5 - 10 minute ordeal, what with all the pleasantries and up-selling and other chit chatty bullshit she engages in. I've gotten into the habit of waiting in her line for no more than a minute or so, and then making my fucking purchases in the cafe and getting a coffee, if only to avoid making empty conversation with her, or worse yet, being caught in her line for 20 minutes while she gets to know every motherfucker in her line. I left the building (after waiting on a coffee) at the same moment as the guy ahead of me in the original line; I think I chose wisely.

I got some writing done back at the house while the wife caught a nap, then she split for a trunk show some friend of hers was hosting in her home this evening, so I moved to the den and watched a few TiVo suggestions to kill time while playing around on the iPhone's Apps store looking for new toys.

The wife brought home some burgers for dinner, but as late as it was I wasn't keen to start a movie, so we ended up watching the 1st two episodes of The X-Files, which I don't know that I've ever seen myself, and I know that the wife hasn't. She was fairly well appalled by the fashions, even though the show is only from the early 90's. It;s also interesting to watch this show after enjoying Fringe so much this past season, you definitely see the groundwork being laid for that type of television programming, and it makes me hope that Fringe manages to gain some ground in the ratings, as I'd like for it to be around for a nice long run.

I'm out kids.

Be seeing you.

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Monday, June 22, 2009

Those Wacky French (Or: Can I Haz Nu Roof?)

In an effort to catch up with some ignored movies from Netfux, I popped in a French film called Trouble Every Day to give it a peep at long last, as Skincarver had recommended it to me quite literally two years ago.

Worth The Risk Of Biting? Possibly.I ended up enjoying the film less than Skinny did, as he rated it very highly in his review, though I did enjoy it fairly well. Béatrice Dalle is super hot as the lead, infected with God knows what and driven to libidinous excess that ends in cannibalism, while Vincent Gallo is every bit as greasy and unkempt as we've come to expect him to be based on his appearance in, well...life in general.

The film evokes a nice feeling of quiet desperation, and the violence that happens is very well shot, at first erotic and then growing creepier as the sex becomes increasingly brutal and bitey. I'd say that this is worth a look, though I don't know how often I'd come back to it if I owned it.

I had an Orthodontist visit, which proved that everything is moving along as it should be, and scheduled the next appointment for late August, when I hope that this ordeal will be over once and for all.

We had a roofer scheduled to come out and take a look at the roof, just for a second opinion after our insurance people had told us that we didn't need a new one, so I chilled at the house and waited for that guy to arrive while the wife split for a meeting. I went ahead and made use of the time by running through the weight routines, adding a few little tweaks just to see if I could stand it. The workout is getting slightly easier, which is a good sign, though I'll be curious to see how long it takes for me to need to add more weight to things.

The roof meeting went as expected, they said that they were stunned that the insurance people insured it in the first place, as the wood shingles are on their last legs, and this was most likely the case two years ago when we first bought the house, the repairs that they requested be damned. According to the roofer, the minor repairts that the insurance people requested before we were insurable was basically rearranging furniture on the Titanic. They have a guy who has some success with our insurance company, though they are evidently notorious for never declaring anything a loss and (God forbid) paying out any money to fix it, so they want him to come and inspect things, then take a look at the paperwork for the claim. They think he may be able to finagle things along, especially considering the original condition of the roof that they feel was just limped along by their requested minor repairs, so I suppose we'll see how it works out. I'm crossing my fingers.

The wife and I watched Wristcutters: A Love Story tonight, which was a nice little quirky love story, I was rather impressed and the wife liked it, even though she went in expecting it to be depressing based on the obviously negative title. Shannyn Sossamon finally gave me a performance in a decent film after several stinkers, so that was nice for a change.

I'm out kids, it's late and I didn't sleep that well last night.

Be seeing you.

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Sunday, June 21, 2009

Cinematic Sunday Ninety-Three

Continuing our now ongoing theme of me taking Sundays off, let's jump right into the trailers and then get the hell out of here before anyone catches us, okay, you filthy interweb travelers?

First up we have Zombieland, from 1st time director Ruben Fleischer. The film stars Woody Harrelson (presumably this was the film he was working on when he decked a paparazzi thinking he was a zombie, eh?), Jesse Eisenberg, and Emma Stone. Since the tone looks to have tongue planted firmly in cheek, I'm very interested in seeing this one. As a self-confessed 'style over substance' kinda person, this looks to be right up my alley, from the gallows humor to the stylish editing.



Next we have Rotkappchen:The Blood Of Red Riding Hood, which comes to us courtesy of director Harry Sparks. The film is a modern re-telling of the classic fairy tale, but this time around a German teen is brought to the States to stay with her Grandmother. She doesn't fit in at school, and ya know there's going to be a big bad wolf in there somewhere, so you just better watch yourself. The trailer manages to look both stylish (given the color and editing choices) and low budget (based on some of the acting on display) within the same short amount of time, but I'm curious to see more. Check it out.



And finally we have a teaser for Whiteout, which is a film based on the comic series from Greg Rucka, and directed by Dominic Sena. It stars Kate Beckinsale and sees her investigating the first murder ever committed in Antarctica, on the verge of the arctic winter that only leaves her three days to solve the crime. I've never read the comics, though I understand they were very well received, so I can see checking this out.



I'm out kids.

Be seeing you.

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Saturday, June 20, 2009

Fuck My Life Part 17

I think the one thing I've established time and again on the blog (aside from what a curmudgeonly cunt I am) is that I'm not a fan of rainy weather, which generally isn't that much of an issue, what with us living in the desert and all. That being the case, I of course woke to the sounds of a leaking ceiling at 8:00 PM, because it'd been pissing down rain for God knows how long last night.

I scrambled into the kitchen, and sure enough, the Goddamned ceiling over the armoire that we use as a liquor cabinet was dripping water that trickled down through the light fixture, which is always an awesome thing to find, wet electrical things. I had actually left a bowl up there, because this has happened before, but was something that got backburnered because it's a desert and when the fuck will it ever rain, right? Apparently all the damned time this spring, it's been kinda ridiculous, isn't Summer supposed to be hot and dry for the most part?

I took the time to set bowls under the areas that we'd had small leaks before, then headed back to bed, though I was unable to sleep, as the steady rain outside and the drip inside was enough to keep my mind from relaxing at all, so I eventually gave up and started a pot of coffee. The wife had plans to meet for a girlfriend's birthday at 9:00 AM in the motherhumping morning on a Saturday (which I found a little ridiculous, but whatever), so she dressed and split for that.

I sat in the sitting area near the kitchen, basically annoyed and paranoid about the shitty weather and where the leaks could start next. This is a depressing callback to my childhood, because I was raised in a family too poor to have a decent roof on the house, so when it rained in my youth, it ruined my fucking nights. I have slept in the same bed as buckets catching water that fell on the foot of my bed, I've been woken by the collapse of sheetrock in another part of the house when the water had nowhere else to go, all sorts of things like that. In short, this situation recalls the helpless feeling I had as a kid and gives me the gun in mouth blues in the blink of an eye.

I sat and kept an eye on things and listened to the newest Ken P D Snydecast, but wasn't ever able to relax enough to get back to sleep. The rain finally tapered off around noon-ish, the wife arrived back home with groceries that I helped her unload and put away, then we made lunch and caught up on the day. The wife made a few calls about the roof, then we ate and chilled out with a movie as the damned sun came out.

We had a chaise lounge on order for the library, which was at long last delivered this afternoon, and I have to say it looks great in the room, and is very comfy. I'll be in the market for a lamp to place near it for reading, but otherwise the room is completely finished out at long last.

Children Are Just Evil, Pure And SimpleThe wife and I watched Devil Times Five, which was released not too long ago by Code Red DVD. It's a wildly uneven 70's flick in which some adults at a remote house are set upon by a handful of children who survived a van crash in the nearby mountains. The winter setting makes it hard for the adults to make an escape plan as they finally realize that the kids aren't just slightly off because of their accident, they're actually cold blooded killers. The flick co-stars Boss Hogg from the Dukes Of Hazzard and Rosario (of all people) from Will & Grace as a couple (!), features some Gawdawful decor choices (it was the 70's after all) and some fairly silly looking deaths, but was a really fun watch overall. The wife and I really enjoyed poking fun at the silly bits and she really seems to enjoy the throwback slasher type stuff like this.

It also went a long way towards cheering me up after the miserable morning, as did the eventual clearing of the weather, and the next week (as I type this) is looking pretty smooth, so I'm hoping that we'll have a decent window of time to get the damned roof looked at and repaired.

Rachel MinerThe wife and I both napped in the late afternoon, then made dinner and wacthed an awful movie called Cult from Netfux, which I had been curious to see becuase it has Sasha Grey lookalike Rachel Miner in it, as well as Taryn Manning. A personal aside here: the Rachel Miner gal was on a soap opera I watched with my Grandmother when I was a kid, and now there's a porn star who looks like she shares her DNA who I can watch online having violent sex with faceless strangers, what a wonderful time to be alive. Totally Not Rachel Miner, This Is Porn Goddess Sasha GreyThe film itself was terribly dull, boring and the story went nowhere fast. To be perfectly crass about the film, the leads in some state of undress would go a long way towards making the film even vaguely watchable. Pass.

Oh, and final thoughts on the Sasha/Rachel thing: I've never seen them in the same room, perhaps they are one and the same? I love an interesting scandal...

I'm out kids, it was an emotional rollercoaster of a day, and I'm kinda wiped out after the early morning, napping be damned.

Be seeing you.

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Friday, June 19, 2009

Payback's A Bitch, Isn't It Lady?

I was determined to be awake before noon today to join the world like a normal human being, so I forced myself awake with the alarm, even though the Yorkie had already had me half awake barking at a neighbors lawn people.

The wife took the Yorkie to the groomer, so I settled in on the interweb and drank some coffee in my efforts to stay awake, writing up a review and submitting another.

There's new stuff at the old Big Suck Loser, if you get off on that sort of thing.

I got a call from Macguffin, who was going to be in town for a doctor's appointment, and he inquired about getting lunch, so I hopped in the shower to clean up while he drove over here.

As a small side note, I'm officially getting old, because this is the second friend I've seen this week who was in town to visit his doctor; my small group of friends are apparently all on the verge of death.

Mac and I picked up food, then ate back at the house and visited with the wife, then Mac split for his appointment, though I offered to chill with him if he wanted to come back by afterward.

The wife got a call that the groomers were done with the Yorkie (early, for once!), so she went to pick her up and I took the time to break out the weights and start in on the little routine I've been doing, which makes a full 2 weeks of working out, so I feel pretty good about that. You Will Believe A Fat Man Can Kick Your Ass. I popped in Kill Zone to give it another look, and Mac arrived about 10 minutes into it, so he and I watched the rest of that while finishing up with the weights, Mac joining in a little bit himself.

I dug the film just as much on the re-watch, and Mac seemed to enjoy it, himself, so that was cool. He split after the film and I watched a couple of Venture Brothers epsisodes off the TiVo, and then an interview with Donnie Yen off the bonus disc of the Kill Zone DVD. The interview seemed to mostly be Yen waxing poetic about his career and abilities (which are amazing), but you can only hear someone tell you how awesome they are so many times before you say "really?", y'know? He's a stunning martial artist, but having him go on at great length about every element of the stunts and choreography, and how amazingly well done it is because he was involved started to wear me out after awhile.

The wife and I had our standing plans with Brian this evening, and had invited the Mother In Law along for the ride, so we picked her up and met Brian across town at yet another Mexican food place for dinner. Really folks, three nights of Mexican food in a row, I need fish or something tomorrow to clear my palate. Oh, and the MIL kept pissing and moaning about how Grandmother doesn't like it that she's got a new beau, and that she feels like she's on the 'backburner' now with him in the picture until I finally said that I could recall her putting my wife through the very same guilt trip when we first got together, so maybe this was just karma biting her in the ass. The MIL tried to play this off as her testing the relationship to make sure the wife knew what she was getting into, which I kinda brushed off and told her "All I'm saying is that this behavior evidently runs in the family, so don't be surprised if it gets worse before it gets better", because that was definitely the case with her and the wife; the MIL seemed pretty bitter until she found another interest of her own, the new beau himself in point of fact.

After dinner, Brian met us at the house once we dropped the MIL off at her place, then we picked up a dessert item and watched some television, including the new episode of The Soup, and part of an episode of Chelsea Lately, because it was coming on when I flipped over to live television. I don't find her very funny, and her panel of people seem a lot like a group of high school kids sitting around making cracks at the other kids. The fact that I don't like this surprises me, as I generally dig catty shows talking shit about celebrities, but for whatever reason her approach bugs me.

I'm out.

Be seeing you.

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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Eff Emm Ell

So today started out like it wasn't going to be a total pain in my ass, but by 1:00 PM events had changed and I found myself thoroughly in a funk for the rest of the day. This mood isn't helped by the threats of rain for the next few days, I'm just not a rainy weather person, it wears me down.

I swear ta God, if we lived in Seattle, I'd put a gun in my mouth in a fucking week.

I slept in and got some writing done because I found myself alone in the house, so I cranked a few tunes over on the Blip FM site and knocked out two reviews this morning. The wife got home, we caught up on her day, and then she offered to pick up lunch while I finished what I was working on, so I did that while she picked up sandwiches.

I'm halfway through the sandwich, watching some useless television with the wife when I suddenly crack my teeth together hard enough for the wife to hear it over the noise of the television. I massaged the affected teeth for a few minutes, then went back to eating my food, only to have the same thing happen not five minutes later, same teeth, same result. I kinda blame the sandwich, as the restaurant tries to give you a lot of bang for your buck, which makes the sandwich huge and extraordinarily hard to bite into, so I had bitten harder than I might normally do, just to try and get a reasonable amount of food into my fucking nourishment hole.

Immediately after the meal I notice that one of my front teeth is now slightly chipped on the backside of the tooth, not visible from my smile, but I can feel it with my tongue. It's causing me no pain, and is a thankfully only a minor little chip, but I can't keep my tongue away from it either. Plus it's irritating as all hell to have these braces almost ready to come off and then suddenly fuck up one of the newly straightened teeth for no good reason.

The wife had a late afternoon meeting, so I did some chores around the house and listened to part of the latest Dead Lantern Splattercast while I washed dishes and picked up the kitchen a bit.

We're Scientists!The wife got home later and we retired to the bedroom to pop in the old Blu-ray of Ghostbusters to see what that looked like. I was rather happy to find that it looked pretty damned decent for a film from 20+ years ago. There was a certain softness to some of the backgrounds, but c'mon, how sharp of a picture does one expect from a film not shot in HD from the mid-eighties? The only thing I would say looked slightly odd was the animation of Zuul's 'dogs' that Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis turn into, but I recall those looking a little weird even on the DVD I watched just a few years ago, so of course they don't age well in Hi Def.

I left the wife watching re-runs on late night television while I started hunting and pecking this nonsense out.

Be seeing you.

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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Surprise, It's Another Birthday!

I got some writing submitted today once I finally drug myself from the bed, then checked the mail for the Blu-ray copy of Ghostbusters that I was anxiously awaiting from Amazon.

I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghost, Even In Hi-Def!The package had arrived, which made me happy, because the UPS website showed it still in transit, even though it was safe and sound on the doorstep.

The wife returned from her errands as I was preparing to go and grab a late lunch, so we caught up a bit and she told me that she'd made tentative plans to have dinner with the Hairdressers, one of whom was celebrating a birthday today. This was all well and good, but I also felt in a weird spot, as I was hungry and didn't want to wait another five hours or so to eat a proper meal, nor did I want to just eat some snack to tide me over. I hit the post office and then picked up a burger, figuring that even if I ate a normal meal that the Hairdressers could easily flake out on us at the last minute anyway, so it was a gamble of sorts.

My luck being what it is, no sooner had I finished my meal back at the house do I get confirmation that we would be meeting them for dinner at 5:00 since they had taken a half day today, rather than the 7:00 or so that I was initially imagining. So, y'know, we're supposed to eat again in 2 and a half hours.

Super-fantastic. I see an appetizer in my future and little else.

I ended up breaking out the dumbbells and taking the last hour before we had to go to run through the little routine I've been doing, which seems like it might be having at least a slight effect. My arms and shoulders definitely feel a little tighter than normal, though nothing is really getting easier when doing the curls and whatnot, so I don't know if I'm gaining any strength quite yet, more like toning up a bit. Oh well, every little bit helps at this point, after months upon months of couch time to show for my mid-30's.

The actual dinner was a weird affair, as we met the Hairdressers shortly after 5:00, and Brian was already there, but he had plans to leave in 30 minutes to be at another engagement he had this evening. The Hairdressers spent some of the evening fielding phone calls, which generally ended with other family members from both of their families being invited to join us.

All of these people slowly trickled in, which meant that while we were eating, new people were arriving, then while they were eating and we were completely finished with our meal even more peeps were straggling in; it made for a disjointed dining experience to say the least. I wasn't interested in sitting there hammering down cocktails all night just to pass the time, so the wife and I eventually left a check for our food and split, because the table seemed to be settling in for a long night and while I enjoy these folks, they're still all related to one another and thus have a much more familiar frame of reference with which they relate to one another that the wife and I simply aren't privy to.

The wife and I headed home, she checked e-mail and stuff on the laptop while I watched the first disc of the Family Guy volume seven set that I picked up yesterday. We called it a night around 10:00 and I started pecking away at this nonsense for today to see if I could get it finished before the (Cool) Shite guys go live later this evening.

Be seeing you.

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

There's A Filthy Hobo On Aisle Three. Repeat: There's A Hobo On Aisle Three. Please Advise.

The wife was unable to sleep last night, so when I went to bed early (early for me, 2:00 AM or so), she was still awake, so I chilled in bed with the last episode of The IT Crowd that was up for instant view on Netfux, then started an episode of Weeds. The wife was awake when I finished that, so we lay there talking for about an hour or more, then I finally fell asleep around 4:30 or so, which is just ridiculous considering that I went to bed 'early' for once.

I overslept this morning, so I started my little shopping errands later than I had planned, hitting up Best Buy and then Barnes & Noble while I was out. While browsing I got a call from El Vox, who was going to be in town getting an allergy shot, so I made plans to see him in the afternoon after he got finished with that.

Waiting around for Vox, I kinda drug my heels as I browsed at the local books music and video outlet, where the same homeless guy is always hanging out. The guy usually has a specific chair staked out, and is sitting alone with a rictus grin on his face and laughing quietly to himself, but today he was on the move, which is actually more unsettling, as you never know when he might pop up behind you, mumbling to himself.

Presumably this would happen immediately before he stabs you in the neck with a broken pencil or a sharpened Snapple bottled that he's melted down over his hobo fire under an overpass and fashioned into a weapon. Or perhaps my imagination runs away from me at times.

Anyway, so Smelly Hobo is roaming the store, muttering to himself and grinning like a lotto winner, which I found particularly unsettling, so I made a cursory pass through the magazines and bargain book sections, then retreated to the DVD side of the store to get away from the insanity and odor that the poor guy gives off.

Is That An Alligator Couch? I Believe That It Is!I found a few things used, as they had some sort of 'buy 2 used - get a third for a buck' promotion going, so I was able to finagle three 'cult' type films for around $7 apiece, including the oddity of The Devil's Sword, a weird Indonesian film that looks to be just crazy, it's got a magical sword that gives the owner the ultimate power on Earth, a zombie army, hell, what more can a film fan ask for?

Vox arrived, we chatted while we browsed a bit (he was equally freaked out by Smelly Hobo), then we split and ran by Big Lots for a pass through their cheap stuff before heading back to the house to chill out.

Vox had some music on an external hard drive, so we poked through that to see if there was anything that I might want to check out. The wife came in from some shopping of her own and said hi, then left shortly thereafter to attend a quick meeting, but we made plans to have dinner once she got home.

The wife, Vox and I had a nice dinner at a little Mexican place across town, then headed back to our house to relax and visit a bit before Vox headed home.

The wife and I caught up on our respective days for a bit, then I left her to her DVR'd Martha Stewart while I got started in on this and waded through the e-mails that had piled up while I was out fucking around all afternoon.

Be seeing you.

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Monday, June 15, 2009

Smoking It Up With The IT Crowd

I decided to get a jump on this turkey this evening because the wife is out of the house at a meeting, and I just did the little workout routine I've been doing the past week or so and needed to chill out and cool down, so what better place to do it than staring at this monitor for a bit, right?

First of all, I want to mention that Nick's latest DVD Trash Roundtable is up for your viewing pleasure over at his site, so go and check out everyone's favorite taglines for genre pictures, which was the subject this week.

I've been staying up later than I should (as usual), but the twist is that I've been getting away from the web earlier than usual, but I find myself laying in bed and cracking open the laptop rather than going to sleep, because I discovered a couple of shows available on the 'instant view' option of Netfux. The IT Crowd has definitely grown on me, as the first few episodes I wasn't sure if it was my cup of tea exactly, but the characters are amusing and I generally get at least a giggle out of it. The running gags are very amusing, such as the standard phone greeting of "IT, have you tried turning it off and back on again?" always gets me.

This Is How You By God Sell A Television Series! I Wouldn't Care If The Show Is About The SNAKE, I'd Still Watch!I've also been watching the first season of Weeds, a show I'd always heard good stuff about, but hadn't ever bothered to try and watch, because they were already a few seasons along, so with the instant view for free online, I really can't say no. I find Mary Louise Parker very charming in the role of the pot dealing soccer mom, and have so far been able to ignore the highly unlikely fact that EVERYONE in the suburb she lives in evidently smokes pot, just because if I start nitpicking it I'll end up hating the show. Plus MLP is very easy on the eyes, I like her little pointy nose and how she always seems to be chewing on the straw of her iced coffee or tea; very cute. My only quibble thus far is having watched another Showtime series, The United States Of Tara first, I feel like Tara owes a lot to this show, as far as the fractured quirky family unit who are all so much cooler than the squares and assholes they are surrounded by. It feels VERY familiar, but whatever, both shows are quite enjoyable.

I got some writing done today, but not as much as I should've done, so tomorrow may be one for playing catch up. I have to admit that the interweb has become a huge timesink of late, not for any real useful surfing, but I find myself addicted to these various DVD forums, all of whom are populated with guys who evidently sit in their offices and wait for a new deal, sale or promotion to pop up somewhere so they can trumpet it to the heavens on the message boards.

Don't get me wrong, I've found some neat sales or heard about different coupons from my lurking on these boards, but man, it can be a time suck and I don't even realize it until I surface after a half hour of looking at message threads about sales I don't really give a shit about.

Oh well, as such, I'm wrapping this turkey up early, as most of the traffic recently has been in search of porn anyway, so why should I bother all that much if they just move on with their pants around their ankles and ignore all my precious minutiae?

Be seeing you.

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