Friday, July 31, 2009

Grand Theft Video

The lousy weather struck again around 3:00 AM, reaching something of a peak around 5:30, which finally woke me up, so I got up and made sure the little bowls were under the various leaks.

I watched the rain for a bit, dicking around on Twitter, then finally decided that since there wasn't any real lightning or evident danger of the electricity getting zapped that I was probably safe to hop online and poke around for a bit. I finally headed back to bed shortly before 7:00, as the rain had begun to taper off a bit.

The wife ran the Yorkie to the Groomer shortly after she got up, I drug myself from the bed shortly afterward. I had managed to get about 8 hours of rest, though it was broken up into annoying blocks of sleep rather than any extended sleep that might allow for relaxation.

I made some coffee and was online when the wife came home, she retired to the bedroom to check her own e-mail on the laptop. We eventually went and grabbed a late lunch, ran a few errands and then I was settling in on the computer again to do some updating of the blog links when I got a call from El Vox.

Hello Kiddies!He had been in the Odessa Big Lots and noted the arrival of another wave of stuff I'd been on the lookout for, which included the Tales From The Crypt seasons for only $3 each. I had been holding out hope that these would eventually trickle into this area, so I split for Odessa immediately to pick these up. I tried to call Macguffin on my drive, but never got him on the phone, so I listened to this week's Outside The Cinema on the drive, then got a call from Mac himself. As it turned out, he was at the store in question, so I asked if he'd be kind enough to grab a set of the TFTC stuff aside for me and allow me to meet him there, which he agreed to do.

I picked up Vox and we met Mac at the store, I happily took possession of my pile of goodies, then we shopped around a bit before finally getting in the non moving check-out lines to get the hell out of there. Mac agreed to meet us back at Vox's place and visit for a bit, so we headed over there and chilled for a bit. We couldn't really all get on the same page as to a choice for dinner, so Mac eventually split for home while Vox started preparing his meal at the house. I was still relatively full from my late lunch, so I headed home shortly thereafter to leave Vox to eat in peace.

The wife and I both ended up eating a bowl of cereal for our late dinner while watching The Soup and whatever snarky TV-related comedy show comes on after it. I sat through Chelsea Handler's standard unfunny opening (again) and then called it a night.

The web this evening tells me that the merchandise I've been buying in large piles from Big Lots is most likely a portion of stuff Warner Brothers Home Video had subcontracted a private company to destroy (for whatever reason), which was instead sold to numerous discount chains around the nation, flooding the market with these 'too good to be true' deals. Warner is currently suing them, as this constitutes outright theft (they presented faked 'destroyed' documentation?), which has online speculators saying that this most likely means the end of any decent bargains at Big Lots and the like, which honestly, in some ways is a relief. I've spent waaay too much money there in recent months because 'it's such a good deal, how can I pass it up?', which I know is ridiculous even as I'm reaching for the wallet, but such is the nature of the collector.

I'm out kids.

Be seeing you.

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Nightly Weather

Hey, y'know what? I'm still pissing and moaning about the weather, in my efforts to drive away all three of the people bored enough to still be reading this.

Create interesting content to attract potential new readers?!? FUCK THAT!

The shitty weather last night had me waking up at 5:00 AM with the Yorkie huddled in a shivering ball on top of my head on my pillow. She's really begun to lose her mind at the slightest hint of bad weather, I don't know what changed these last few weeks, but it's got her on the verge of a stroke every time thunder and lightning happen, I feel really bad for her. I tried to settle her as best I could and went back to sleep, as the rain was fairly slight and thus probably wouldn't be causing any leaks in the kitchen.

That's the fucked up part of this weather cycle, I've become attuned enough to it to spot the trends in what might be fucking up my life. The rain is slow, but goes on for hours on end, we have leaking. The rain is sudden and torrential, we have leaks but if it's on occasional shower that doesn't last for more than say, an hour, we're fine. It's just the nerve-wracking nature of figuring out which type of storm it's going to be that's probably giving me a fucking ulcer that I'll name after our insurance company.

I had plans to get some stuff watched and possibly even (God willing) reviewed this afternoon, but that idea got kinda knee-capped when the wife brought her little nephew over for a visit. I have nothing against the kid, but the wife had made plans to take him to lunch and then he wanted to come to our house for whatever reason. He played Wii in the den while I got some stuff written in the office, then the wife took him home and ran a few errands in the afternoon.

I was thinking I might pop in a movie at this point when the lawn guys arrived and started in on their loud buzzing routine, accompanied by the Yorkie barking and yapping at them, so there went any quiet time I was hoping to find.

I ended up reading a bit of the little book I got in the mail today, Fun With Pedophiles: The Best Of Baiting by Doug Stanhope, a comedian I've only become aware of in recent months. He reminds me a great deal of Bill Hicks in his delivery, as well as his contempt for his audience, which makes for an interesting show. The first stand-up I saw from him was No Refunds, in which he said something to the effect of needing to be drunk "...to get up here and perform in front of all you judgmental pricks!", which just killed me. The book is a series of logged chats with online people in which Stanhope (or others, not sure who all was involved in some if this) had registered sketchy sounding IM personnas, mostly as 13 or 14 yr old girls who are interested in knitting, cybersex and religion, who are then approached by some real oddballs on the web. He transcribes the ensuing chats, in which the 'girl' proceeds to say the weirdest shit to the web stranger, who doesn't seem to understand that they're being fucked with for an extraordinarily long chat. The results have been quite amusing, I recommend the book if you need a laugh, and I include a clip of the man performing here to give you a taste of his comedy style. There's swearing.

The wife and I had made plans to see our friend JH this evening for dinner, so once the wife got home, she and I caught up on our respective days, then we chilled while she checked e-mail on her laptop and I entered some more movies into the Movie Catalog application, which I'm slowly but surely transferring everything into. The trickiest part has been making sure all of the same categories get ticked off for multiple seasons of shows, so that everything is uniform. Y'know, 'cause I'm anal.

We had a nice dinner at a local steakhouse, caught up with JH about her new beau, then we headed home, watched the latest Ace Of Cakes because it happened to be on, then called it a night. I'm just baffled at where my day went, and hope to actually get things done tomorrow.

Be seeing you.

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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

There HAS To Be A Morning After? Shit!

The predicted rains started in late last night, but the storm was more sound and fury than anything, so the slow steady rains never added up to any actual leaking in the house, which was something of a relief. I Sometimes Wanna DieThe rolling thunder that accompanied the rain was a whole other story, as the Yorkie has seemed increasingly skittish recently about loud noises that aren't easily explained away, like the lawn guys or delivery people. She managed to work herself in to a frenzy over the odd noises and wind outside, the likes of which you don't normally see outside of taking her for a ride in the car, which always wigs her out to no end.

Frankly, she was so worked up I began to wonder if she knew something I didn't, as if the next thing I knew there'd be a tornado whipping fence pickets through the back window or something, but things thankfully never got that out of hand. I eventually went to bed, taking Bella with me, though it took her a good 30 minutes of me laying there reading and cooing at her to finally calm her down enough for her to sleep.

I slept in slightly, then got up to see when the Maid was expected. The wife informed me that she was running late, but would be here in the afternoon, so I started mentally re-arranging my day to not include getting anything in particular done, since having her underfoot always fucks up the plans for settling in and watching a movie or doing much besides playing online a bit or reading.

Macguffin had a doctor's appointment this afternoon, so he dropped by afterward and we went and ran around a bit, then he joined us for dinner with the Mother In Law at a little restaurant downtown. The meal was good, but in the end I think I may've chosen the wrong dish, as a quick nibble of the wife's fajitas tasted much better than the chicken item I'd selected. Oh well, live and learn.

We picked up some coffee after dinner, then headed home. Mac split and the wife and I finished the last episode of God, The Devil And Bob, then watched the new episode of Ghost Hunters International before calling it a night.

Be seeing you.

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Shopping, Ministers & Slasher Films

The rest of the week is now officially booked out for scattered showers and attempted suicides on my part, so I figured today would be a good day to run around and buy a few more cheap DVD's to be able to leave Mastercard holding the bag for a few more bucks if things shake out badly before it's all over.

I hit up Big Lots here in town, found nothing, then headed to Odessa while listening to this week's episode of Night Of The Living Podcast on the drive.

I hit up CD Whorehouse and sold a few things that I'd been meaning to get rid of for awhile now, just to do some housecleaning with a few things that had accumulated from random lot purchases on e-Bay or freebie review copies. I ended up getting about $40 in credit, which wasn't all that great, but these discs are out of my hair and I used the store credit to pick up used copies of a few Blue Underground titles that I'd noticed the last time I was in the store. Hold Your Tongue And Say Apple!I have been curious about Night Train Murders for awhile now, and the cover of Mark Of The Devil is pretty awesome, I'm hoping the film lives up to what I'm expecting based on it.

I hit Big Lots next, trying to get ahold of Macguffin on the phone on the short drive, but to no avail. I found a few things at BL, a couple seasons of The Flintstones for the wife that she didn't have, so that was cool. I eventually made lunch plans with El Vox, settling for trying Mac's door one final time on the way to pick up Vox. The dogs went apeshit when I rang the bell, but I saw no signs of life at Mac's house otherwise, so I assumed that his insomnia has him again and went to Vox's place.

We visited for a bit, then I Google-mapped a sandwich place that evidently doesn't exist, as we followed the directions pretty Goddamned carefully and never turned up even an empty building that this place could have been located in. After about 30-45 minutes of increasing frustration, I said fuckit and went to a Thai restaurant that I by God knew existed and we had a quiet late lunch.

I dropped Vox back at his place and headed home, stopping as I got into town to pick up a frame for the awesome Pinhead print I'd bought awhile back from this nifty site. I also noticed thsat the kids working the crafts store were unboxing and displaying Halloween merchandise, which is a litle mortifying since we haven't even put fucking July to bed yet, but whatever, the marketing wizards will eventually have me eating Easter candy with my turkey dinner as I shoot off fireworks in celebration of...who the fuck knows what. John Saxon's birthday?

Back at the house the wife was napping after a morning and afternoon full of non-profit meeting bullshit, so I chilled in the den to unwrap my new purchases and got Pinhead squared away in his frame, which worked out perfectly in case you were wondering.

The wife had something to give to KS, a friend of ours who I've mentioned before, who just so happens to be the wife of a local minister. I write a blog called Dear Bastards, but I get along swimmingly with both she and her husband, which is just about the last thing I would ever expect to happen. She hung out and visited for awhile, and the subject turned to horror movies (which she brought up), of which she is a fan, and next thing I know we're discussing Hostel: Part II, and how fascinating she found the whole Elizabeth Bathory scene to be. Her husband eventually came by for a bit, we visited some more and this minister jokes that the non-profit my wife is currently president of is something of a 'cult', then laughed heartily when we countered that he has a 'cult' of his own, now doesn't he? I'm very amused by these two, as they are the most down to Earth people I could imagine, and unlike virtually any other couple of any denomination that I've encountered, especially considering what I'd imagine to be constant scrutiny as a minister and his wife.

Plus, the minister's wacky wife has him bring over some treatise that she'd printed off the web about the roles of women in horror movies so that I could read it and discuss with her at some later date. Wild.

The wife and I watched a few episodes of God, The Devil And Bob, a failed animated series that I'd grabbed on a wild hair at Big Lots. It's pretty amusing and I think I'm getting my $3 worth of entertainment out of it.

I'm off to try and grab some sleep before the damned rain starts in and ruins my life for the rest of the week. If we ever get a new roof on this house I might actually be able to watch the Weather Channel without my asshole puckering involuntarily; I'm living in hope.

Be seeing you.

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Monday, July 27, 2009

Oh, Now They're Just Making Up Gross Creepy Stuff!

Since I have a few nights of peaceful sleep before the weather is meant to turn to total shit and have me staying up to all hours watching for leaks, I was rather typically unable to sleep last night. Heartburn drove me from the bed pretty much hourly once I went to bed, and I eventually gave up after about 4 hours of sleep and just turned the computer back on to get some writing done.

I made coffee to help keep the heartburn going (I'm an idiot, I realize) and to see if that might help me do some housecleaning, if I can put it lightly. I've found that in my old age I am like an elderly woman who drinks coffee not for enjoyment but to make certain that I stay regular.

I know, way more than you want to know about me and my life, sue me.

I got a bit of writing done this morning, the wife eventually got up and went to run an errand after having lunch plans with her annoying friend Blather fall through for no apparent reason save for a weird text asking if they could get together for dinner instead. The wife responded that we had plans and voilĂ , the forced socialization was out of the picture for her visit this time around. Go us!

The wife made some pasta for lunch, we watched some television in the den, then retired to the bedroom where we both slept for a few hours, me to catch up a bit after my shitty night, her because she's one-quarter sloth.

Grandmother had invited us over in the evening for dinner and a visit with the Uncle, who is in town for a few. We headed over there and were surprised to find the Mother In Law already back in town from visiting her new Beau at his home a couple of hours away. We ate the typically dry Grandmother meal and visited for a bit, then the wife and I headed home.

No, Really, WHAT IS A HEADER?We watched the recent Synapse release of Header, a film based on the novel of the same name by Edward Lee. Having never read the novel, I wasn't sure what to expect, but had a fairly good idea what the titular act of a 'header' was, so I even offered the wife the out if she wasn't interested in this particular film, but she said she was game. The next thing I know we're watching this gruesome film and talking amongst ourselves about the acting, effects and the act itself, which while gruesome may actually 'read' more disturbing than the visual reality we see in the film. The acting was fairly decent, though the hillbilly redneck types do go a little overboard with their 'yee-haw' shenanigans, which makes certain moments almost comical or annoying at varying turns. It's worth a look, though definitely something I'm happy to not have blind bought, as I don't know how often I'd come back to this one.

I would also remark that the wife has become surprisingly inured to the truly gruesome stuff, or perhaps she just has the same disconnect that I do, knowing that I'm obviously watching a film, regardless of how real anything might ever look.

We called it a day around 10:00 and I started doing my evening web routines to see what was up out there in the big bad world.

Be seeing you.

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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Cinematic Sunday Ninety-Eight

So let's see what we have for you folks this evening, as I'm gearing up for another week of shitty rainy weather and trying to resist the urge to put a gun in my mouth.

First up we have Cold Souls, from director Sophie Barthes which stars Paul Giamatti as himself, in a film which posits that his ennui drives him to seek help from a company that alleges to extract and store your soul in a deep freeze, freeing the client up to live life unfettered by the normal restraints one might have. He finds his new freedom even worse, but when he goes back to have the process reversed, he's shocked to find that they've misplaced his soul, which sends him on a journey to retrieve it on the black market, which takes him around the world in search of himself. It co-stars David Strathairn and Emily Watson, as Giamatti's Doctor and love interest respectively, and should hit theaters August 7th.

Next we have The Book Of Eli, the latest film from The Hughes Brothers. Set in a post apocalyptic wasteland, we see Denzel Washington make his way through the valley of the shadow of death, fearing no evil. The film has a gloriously Tim Bradstreet look to it, and I have seen some images produced for the film that are drawn by comic artist Chris Weston, of The Invisibles and The Filth fame, so that's apparently an apt comparison. I like the feel of the trailer a lot, the film co-stars Gary Oldman and Mila Kunis and gives us something to look forward to in January of next year.

Finally we have Hot Tube Time Machine, a movie with a title so deliriously silly you're almost forced to like it when you say it out loud. Directed by Steve Pink, who wrote two of the last truly great things John Cusack was in, High Fidelity and Grosse Pointe Blank, the film stars Cusack, Craig Robinson, Rob Corddry and Clark Duke as friends who go back in time to the 80's via a hot tub that is evidently a time machine. The redband trailer looks pretty amusing, even if it does little beyond setting up the concept and establishing what a nerd one of the characters is, but don't go a'clicking in your place of business or worship, as there's some use of the 'fuck' word in there.

Be seeing you.

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Saturday, July 25, 2009

Back To The Drawing Board

Was up too late last night, so nothing has changed there, but I did finally take the time to download a new application to start sorting the movie collection with. Cursing Amazon for the whole Pocketpedia situation the entire time I downloaded it, I started playing around with it a little bit before I went to bed, finally deciding that while it wasn't as intuitive, the fact that it's basically a database that you create virtually all the details for yourself may be for the best in the long run.

The app I ended up using is called Movie Catalog, which, like I mentioned above, isn't as intuitive as it could be, but that may work in its favor in the long run, as you are allowed to pick and chose what artwork is used to represent each DVD release, found via Google image search. This means that I'll even be able to track down art for bootlegged stuff (all 6 titles I might have), as well as certain release art that may've changed on later editions that I don't particularly care for, which is nice if you're a completist/perfectionist nerd like I am.

I'm not exactly relishing the idea of manually loading everything into the app, but the only other option is writing up some very specific text into a document and loading that into the app, which I could easily see me fucking up good and proper, so I think going on a disc by disc method may be for the best for all involved. I actually started out flipping from the Pocketpedia app back to the Movie Catalog one, creating entries in alphabetical order for the Blu-ray titles I'd already cataloged, and that went pretty fast, so it may be easier than I first thought.

The wife had a weird ceremony in the afternoon in which she was supposed to accept some sort of plaque for one of her non-profits, so she dressed and headed out to that around 1:00. I had spent some time gathering up a small load of recycling stuff to drop off, wondering aloud where the fuck it all piles up from, with plans of grabbing lunch while I was out, so I basically followed her out when she left.

Evil Is Striped!I listened to this week's Gentlemen's Guide To Midnite Cinema while I ran my errands, then chilled at the house and watched Miike's Zebraman film, which had been bumping around on the TiVo for literally months on end, possibly since February of this year. I enjoyed it, it has some funny buts, but I don't know how often I'd re-watch it. I may have to give it another look at some point just to see if my mood wasn't right this time around or something like that.

The wife got home and she watched the end of the flick with me, though I think she actually caught a bit of a nap in there somewhere.

I took the Yorkie out for a roam around the backyard, playing with the movie apps on the iPhone while she poked around a bit, then the mosquitoes started to be a little much, so we headed inside to see what the wife was up to. The second Hellraiser flick was on cable so we watched the last half of that just shooting the shit about this or that, and the wife made plans via text to have the Hairdressers over for dinner this evening, so I decided to take a quick shower before they arrived.

Those plans fell through exactly 20 minutes after I got out of the shower, so I ended up feeling extraordinarily less guilty for not jumping through my ass to meet them for drinks about a week ago, since things like this are par for the course with them. Oh well, I needed to shower anyway, but I might've taken a longer, more relaxing one had I not felt rushed.

The wife and I ordered in a pizza and watched one of The Film Crew releases, a Steve Reeves flick called The Giant Of Marathon which features a ton of oily men in what look like white diapers wrestling and grappling and all manner of other stridently heterosexual stuff, so don't you even think about getting the wrong idea about this film. Seriously, it's a little gay and the guys had a good time ripping on it, the wife and I were both entertained.

We called it a night shortly afterward and I tuned in to a live recording of (Cool) Shite while I worked on this thing.

Be seeing you.

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Way To Parent, Bitch!

Okay, so for housekeeping's sake, let me mention a few things here at the start before I forget.

First of all, there's a new edition of the DVD Trash Roundtable up for your cult cinema information, though there were scant few responses this time around. Give it a look and e-mail Nick if you want to play along in future editions.

Also, there are a couple of new reviews up at the old Big Suck Loser, so click on over there and see what's up if you have the chance.

And finally, I was rather pissed of to find out that Amazon has pulled the plug on the most useful application I have on the fucking iPhone, Pocketpedia, because there's some weird law out there that makes it illegal to transmit information from their site to mobile devices, or some shit like that. This is annoying as all hell, as the information on there has been very useful, so I'm now on a hunt for a new application to start adding all this shit back into. Any suggestions you have would be appreciated, if you have a personal favorite.

I was happy to sleep for about 9 hours after the previous night's misery, getting up and around shortly after noon. The wife and I headed out to do some shopping and pick up a late lunch.

We hit up the local books, music and video outlet to see what was new and I was struck with an immediate sense of sadness for a guy who was doing a 'book signing' at the front of the store. I didn't want to get too close, for fear of the hard sell, but from a quick glance and hello I was able to discern that it looked like a kids book, he had a stack of them on a table literally the size of a TV tray that my mom had when I was a kid, and absolutely no traffic whatsoever. I hadda feel bad for the guy, as he was sitting alone, not doing anything except watching people walk by and not buy his book. I would imagine that would be a kick to the nuts every time the door opened and someone walked past me to buy anything else in the store that they found more interesting than my product.

The wife and I split up, her wandering to the book side of things and me towards the movies to try and snag a bargain. My travels on that side of the store were so odd to me that I found myself Twittering about it while I browsed, as one particular woman and her brood of rodent children were providing all manner of puzzling comments for me to Tweet about.

I'm in the horror section (big fucking shock) and these two kids wander by, talking amongst themselves. Says the 7 year old to the 5 year old: "I used to be scared of Chucky, y'know, when I was little." Sonofabitch! Who in the world has a 7 year old that's jaded to a doll that will slice your fucking throat in your sleep?

This question in mind, I drifted around the corner of the aisle to check out the mom of the year and the rest of her litter, who I had been hearing in the background din of the store for quite some time already. This broad is around her late 30's-early 40's, and had no less than 5 kids orbiting her general vicinity, though I couldn't exactly tell who was hers and who might be a nephew or the neighbor kid who whined his way into a trip to the store. I listen to the kids rattle off this film or that (all grossly inappropriate, mind you) that they've seen from the aisle, while their mom looked for something new to expose them to.

There's nothing like hearing a kid under the age of ten loudly exclaim "Look, his mouth is sewn shut, just like in that other movie!" to make you wish you had Child Protective Services on your speed dial.

I hear the woman ask her kids what "Uncut & Unrated" means before I finally found my bargains and got the hell away from there before I started screaming at these people.

Let me get this straight: I must have a license to drive a car, but people can squeeze out as many kids as they want and then fuck them up from the get-go, and no one steps in? I can see wanting to show your kid what you think are good films, and God willing if we have kids, I hope they are up for watching the stupid movies that I like, but I'll be Goddamned if I'll ever have a five year old who doesn't even flinch when Leatherface drops the guy with a hammer to the temple and then slams that metal door shut. How can you be so half-assed in your parenting as to let your kid just watch whatever happens to come along? The mind reels.

The wife and I made our purchase (carefully avoiding the poor author guy, still completely alone and bored looking), then dropped off some recycling before grabbing a couple of sandwiches and heading home.

You Scruffy Nerf Herders!We were eating when I got a call from Macguffin, who was in town for a few hours after dropping his step-son off at the mall to hang out for a bit. He came by watched Fanboys with us, a movie which had arrived in the mail from Netfux this morning. I'd been keen to see the flick for awhile, but actually held of when it hit DVD recently, hoping to eventualy grab it on Blu-ray when it's released as such. That in mind, I gave it a rental, and I was pretty damned amused. The Star Wars obsession isn't something I ever got into, I had some figures, read the comic and saw the flicks, but I never went for it like a lot of folks evidently did. Being something of a dork though, the nerd humor throughout made me laugh, and the characters are all charming, so I'm really looking forward to picking this up if it hits Blu any time soon.

Mac split after the flick, the wife and I took a break from the tube to do a few little things around the house, then picked up a little snack for dinner before popping in another movie.

As part of a 'buy 2, get one for $1' deal I had picked up Howard The Duck on DVD, which I was something I hadn't watched in forever, possibly a rental when it first hit VHS way back when. We popped that in and enjoyed the 80's cheesiness of it all, as well as Lea Thompson looking foxy in her rocker chick attire. The movie is pretty corny, but for a buck I figured I'd be able to get at least a dollar's worth of enjoyment out of it, right? At this point it'd be more expensive to rent it on a wild hair than to grab it.

We called it a night around 11:00, as we had kept stopping the movie for a variety of nuisances, feed the dog, answering the phone, so I'm getting a late start on this.

Be seeing you.

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Third Wind

I went to bed last night about an hour earlier than I have in a few days, around 3:00 AM. I was frustrated to note that it was still pissing down rain outside, but I'd emptied the little buckets I'd been forced to put under the leaks off of the kitchen area, so I figured maybe I was safe to go to sleep for a bit without the house getting flooded.

I awoke about 2 and a half hours later, around 5:20 and went to hit the pisser. Noticing that it was coming down outside pretty steady, I checked the main leak, which is over a bowl sitting on top of the armoire in the corner, and was stunned to find that bowl on the verge of running over already. I quickly emptied it and got it replaced without losing any water, then started looking to see if the other problem areas had started leaking. I found nothing so far, but I wasn't feeling comfortable sleeping anymore, as the bowl was to the overflowing point only a few hours later, and I wasn't counting on waking up as I had before.

I gave up on the idea of getting anymore sleep, turned on the computer and started doing a couple of reviews that I'd been putting off. The second leak area started in after an hour or so, so I made sure the bowl was under that and started some coffee. The wife had to brave the shitty weather to be at an early meeting, so she split shortly after 7:00 or so, and I was pouring myself a cup of much needed coffee when I noticed that the skylight in the kitchen had managed to start a slow drip in the middle of the floor as well, because fuck me for living indoors and expecting to not have water hitting me on the head.

I said an assortment of rather colorful expletives, put a bowl under it and hoped for the best, returning to the office to continue my writing and try not to kill myself out of depression over the incessantly raining nightmare my summer has become.

The rain tapered off around 11:00-ish, so I dressed and picked up some lunch. Back at the house I watched Supercop off the old TiVo while I ate, still with a nervous eye on the weather. The film was dubbed, which was annoying, because evidently the people who watch the 'Action' channel on cable don't wanna read while people are beating the shit out of one another.

We're Not Gonna Take It!The wife came home, we caught up a bit, then she chilled with me and napped on the couch, as she'd slept poorly as well. I watched Romero's Bruiser, a flick that I remembered liking pretty well, even if it wasn't any huge revelation. Today's viewing confirmed that it was indeed a fun film about an everyman who wakes one day with a blank mask concealing his features, then sets about seeking revenge on those who've wronged him, including his cheating wife and boss, as well as the best friend and accountant who has been screwing him out of piles of money. I dug the flick, give it a rental if you haven't already, it's got a few nice moments, though certain aspects of it made me think of Kevin Bacon in Hollow Man.

Our friend JH texted about possibly having dinner, so I asked if she'd mind coming over here and she agreed, so we placed a food order and waited patiently. She arrived with some Italian for dinner, we visited for around an hour and a half before she split, then the wife and I watched another Mario Bava film, since I still had the taste of Shock in my mouth from the other day.

Lisa And The Devil wasn't as successful as Shock in creating a creepy atmosphere, though it managed to be dreamy and surreal, it never got into the actual realm of unsettling. The set pieces were great, an old estate in the Italian countryside, but the visuals never get disturbing enough to really get to the viewer. Oh, and the women in the film shriek or cry WAY too much, I kept having to leap for the remote when they'd start in with their caterwauling, as it felt like we were being pushed back from the screen like a Memorex ad.

We called it a night around 10:00 and I headed to the web to try and get this done in a timely manner, as the 2 and a half hours of sleep isn't going to keep me going for much longer, as I used up my second wind around 4:00 this afternoon.

Be seeing you.

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Is It Healthy To Call This Film Disappointing?

The weather today was unfortunately as predicted, pissing rain for a good portion of the morning, which I eventually braved to drop something at the post office and hit Best Buy to pick up a cheap CD.

Totally Worth The Eight BucksI'd decided to give the new Grizzly Bear disc a shot since I'd heard a few tracks online, and for $8 I figured what the hell? I don't really buy music anymore, so having something to put into rotation in the car could be a nice change of pace.

The weather being what it was, I spent the afternoon sort of keeping an eye on our now standard leaks in the sitting area off the kitchen, which just makes me want to put a gun in my mouth and send my brains around the room, but oh well, we've got the insurance people scheduled to meet the roofers and talk about our roof in a week or so. **Crosses fingers** Assuming I live that long.

I made the wife and I some lunch while listening to this week's episode of Night Of The Living Podcast, then we chilled in the den and watched Robot Chicken Star Wars Episode II. The wife retired to the bedroom to watch something of her own afterward while I actually went back through the episode to watch the little pop up factoid things about each little skit.

Oh, And There's A 3 Legged Dog As Well, Just For Shits And GigglesI popped in the flick that had arrived from Netfux, a real wild hair of a rental called Killer's Moon. I hadn't heard of the film until last week, when I was looking over the metric shit-ton of stuff on my Netfux queue that's listed as 'short' or 'long wait', the majority of which are smaller cult movies, including one called I Spit On Your Grave, a rape-revenge film that I've always heard about, but have never actually watched.

I looked into possibly just outright purchasing the film via the current Deep Discount sale, because if it was cheap enough with 25% off, even if I hated it, I can always sell the thing, right? Deep discount doesn't list the film right now, but offered me Killer's Moon instead, as something in their description referenced it comparably to I Spit On Your Grave. I checked Netfux, who actually had this available for immediate shipping, so I bumped it up the queue to see what was up.

What was up was a relatively boring film that wasn't ever well made enough to be a legitimate drama, nor was it sleazy enough to pass as a decent Exploitation film. There's escaped mental patients menacing school girls, a few boobs here or there and a single rape scene (unless I blinked and missed something), though more of it is alluded to offscreen than we actually see committed before our eyes.

And to head off your angry letters or comments, no, I'm not sitting on the couch with my Jergens waiting for a rape scene to happen so that I can crank one out, the only reason I felt compelled to comment was that I was surprised that something compared to such an infamous film would be so tame by comparison to what I've always heard about the other 'shocking' example of the genre.

Oh well, it was an obscure film that I took in, so I went ahead and took some notes for a less than favorable review that I hope to write up tomorrow. A quick scan of a few interweb sites tells me I'm in the minority in not liking this, but so be it.

I unboxed the final chair for the backyard that had been delivered in the rain this afternoon, taking time to break down and cut the enormous box into manageable pieces for recycling, then settled that in the backyard while the wife picked up our dinner.

We ate and watched a few odds and ends off the TiVo, including another ho-hum episode of Ghost Hunters International, which finally had a light at the end of the tunnel: a commercial for the beginning of the regular show's new season next month.

We called it around ten, as the wife has stuff to do early tomorrow morning.

Be seeing you.

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Decorate My Life

I had decided that since Shioda was in town that I would try to spend some time with him and run around a bit in the afternoon, so I nailed that plan down and then called Macguffin to see if he'd be up for a quick lunch while we were in his neck of the woods. He seemed game, so I picked up Shioda and headed to Odessa.

We hit up Target so I could pick up a few things, including Robot Chicken Star Wars Episode II as well as a box of Sweet'N Low, because I'm tired of never having any Goddamned Sweet'N Low in the fucking house when I decide to have a simple cup of coff-- uh, wait, sorry, that was part of a note I'm composing for my sweet wife about our grocery shopping; you'll have to excuse me for getting carried away there.

So, yeah, we grabbed that stuff and then hit Big Lots to see what was up, found nothing of note there, picked up Mac and had lunch at Red Lobster, just because I hadn't been there in forever and the other fellas seemed up for it.

The wife had the interior decorator scheduled for this afternoon, so I dropped the guys back at their respective homes and headed for the house to see what this guy had in mind. We met with him for about 45 minutes, gave him a tour of the house to give him an idea of our tastes, then made a plan to meet again in a few weeks to go over his ideas for the front rooms specifically, as well as some other areas we might want him to look at eventually.

The wife and I picked up Shioda again for dinner, since he's leaving town tomorrow, so we visited over burgers for a bit, then said our goodbyes as we dropped him back off at his mother's place.

I finally popped in The Hit, just because I'm trying desperately to get back into the habit of only having Netfux movies hanging around for a single day if possible, in an effort to get our money's worth out of the rental subscription. The film was really interesting, I find that I really enjoy Terence Stamp in these affable gangster type roles (loved The Limey), and it's was interesting to see a very young Tim Roth in an early role.

The Hardest Working Penis In Show BusinessAfterward we popped in Porn Star: The Legend Of Ron Jeremy, which was a pretty quick little documentary about the man behind the penis, though it honestly ended up having something of a melancholy tone, focusing near the end of the film on the guy being generally lonely in life, having had very few actual relationships. I was also a little puzzled by the 'unrated' documentary that was filled with odd censoring here and there, presumably within archival materials, but the on-again, off again pixelation of boobs or bush was a little distracting at times.

We called it a night as I was already running late to hit the web and I want to try and get some decent sleep tonight rather than tomorrow morning, y'know?

Be seeing you.

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Monday, July 20, 2009

I Should Be Sent To Movie Jail

I managed to get up late today, which should be a shocker to exactly no one, then started planning my day while chatting it up with the wife about her day and what else she has planned for the week.

I dropped something at the post office, picked up a sandwich for my lunch, then headed home to eat and watch a flick.

While I was eating I ended up watching a Jean-Claude Van Damme flick that was on cable last week that I'd had TiVo grab for me, one of his later efforts called The Quest, which I believe I'd always heard described as something of a Mortal Kombat rip-off. Why Is Roger Moore In This?This was somewhat the case, though it lacked the supernatural hooks of that game/film franchise, instead throwing together a hodge-podge of other plot devices to move things along, casting Van Damme as a hapless leader of some street urchins who finds himself sold (?) into service with a guy who teaches him Muay Thai boxing, then later enters him in a big bad tournament where we're treated to any number of standard face-offs with everyone from central casting for a martial arts flick. The most amusing/fucking irritating bit of the film was James Remar's American boxer, who kept commenting under his breath every time the guy doing animal forms of Kung Fu was on-screen "He moves like an animal - hmmn, like a tiger - he looks just like a monkey..." OKAY, we fucking get it, the guy is doing the animal forms of Kung Fu, stop having your baffled character tell us about it and just hold up a fucking sign or something! The flick was okay, though the asinine plotting far outweighed the decent martial arts bits, so I don't see why anyone would be dying to see this anytime soon, unless they're just curious like me.

Never Trust A Hitman Who Turns Up At Your DoorHere's the truly fucked up thing though: I took the time out of my afternoon to watch this Van Damme directed (!) turkey off cable today, when I have in my possession a Netfux rental copy of the Stephen Frears directed gangster film The Hit, a recent release as part of the Criterion Collection. Y'know, the Criterion Collection, that continuing series showcasing important classic and contemporary films, y'know: stuff that's not The Quest. I also had several Criterion discs that I just bought as part of a sale turn up in the mail, so I have a small stack of films that I know are good, including classic Jim Jarmusch stuff like Down By Law and Gilliam's Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas to re-watch, but instead of any of these great films, I watched The fucking Quest instead.You Scream, I SCream, We All Scream For Ice Cream!

Thus, I should be put in movie jail for my dumbass judgment, because I thought I'd try to watch two films today, but why start with the shitty one? Why not watch something I have pretty good chance of liking, then maybe losing the second one if time runs out? Oh well, just more pressure to get some things watched tomorrow. Bah.

Oh, and in the vein of movie related stuff, there's a new DVD Trash Roundtable up for your viewing pleasure, so check that out for some chatter about the action genre.

I spent some time in the afternoon with my friend Shioda who is in town for his birthday (which was Sunday as it turns out; I suck at this 'friend' thing), so we visited a bit, then I took him to dinner as my little belated way of saying happy birthday. The wife joined us after a meeting and ate, then she headed home while Shioda and I poked around a bit because he had a few errands to run. I picked up a magazine and came up empty handed on an impulse purchase I was prepared to make, which is probably for the best. Regardless of how cheap the Blu-ray was, I need another movie to watch like I need a hole in the head.

I'm out kids, we have an interior decorator coming by tomorrow afternoon to see what he can do with our formal dining and living areas, so I wanna be up and coherent to see what he has to say, lest he talk the wife into something gaudy and asinine in my absence.

Be seeing you.

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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Cinematic Sunday Ninety-Seven

It's Sunday, it's another wasted weekend, it's trailers, so let's do this and get on with our dirty miserable lives, eh?

First up (since they e-mailed to mention it was coming out) is An Education, from director Lone Scherfig, in which 16 year old Jenny (Carey Mulligan) meets a 30 something suitor played by Peter Sarsgaard, and for some wacky reason her dad (Alfred Molina) doesn't just whip the shit out of the guy for sniffing around his teen daughter. The script is from Nick Hornby, who I've really dug in the past, so I'm willing to see how this all plays out. Give it a look, the film opens in limited release in October.

Next, in a COMPLETE change of pace we have what looks like a low budget film called Bio-Slime, about which I know little beyond what is seen in the trailer. The set up is that a group of people are trapped in an art studio (?) when a mysterious slime has been released from a briefcase and begins to take them over. The film is directed by John Lechago and while it looks to be a blend of stuff like The Thing and Species, I have to say that I like the way some of the effects look, at least in the short bits you see in this trailer with all the whipping tentacles and slime. Give it a peep, it could be fun.

Finally, just because why the hell not (?) I thought I'd throw this trailer for Whip It out there. The film is directed by a mysterious newcomer named Drew Barrymore who co-stars alongside Ellen Page, Juliette Lewis, Alia Shawkat (meow,baby!) and Zoe Bell is even floating around in there somewhere! The pitch is simple: small town dowdy girl joins the roller-derby and betters her life through violent camaraderie, or some such cuteness. It looks to be a fun flick, give it a peep.

And I'm out.

Be seeing you.

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Saturday, July 18, 2009

Re-Watchability = High

The wife and I got up late today, then chilled out in the back yard, because I think we're determined to get out money's worth out of the new furniture in this first week or something. I made some coffee and we chilled out there while the wife spoke to her Middle Sister on the phone and I read through the newspaper while the Yorkie patrolled the yard. I'm hoping as she gets used to being out there periodically that she'll relax a bit on that and just lay down and relax with us instead of constantly being on the move, it's quite distracting.

The wife's (our?) girlfriend JH called around noon about getting together, so we had her over and then went to drive-thru some lunch and chill out with a movie. We also caught up with her about some recent dating activity, part of which we'd been privy to this past Thursday night.

We ended up watching Pineapple Express because it was coming on cable when we settled into the den, a flick I've been meaning to re-watch anyway, so this worked out well. I really enjoy that flick a lot, even if there's some fat here or there that could be snipped out to streamline some of the druggie tangents that the characters get off into.

Whatever. Rock And Roll.We watched a little bit of Live Free Or Die Hard that came on afterward, then we asked JH to pick a film from the media closet and she chose The Rules Of Attraction, a film I hadn't watched in a few years, so that was a fun experience for me to re-examine it again. As much as I enjoy American Psycho, this film is perhaps the closest to the source material that I think we've gotten from a Bret Easton Ellis novel, from the ambi-sexual characters to the quirky and odd interactions they have with the peripheral people in the story. James Van Der Beek is still pretty damned convincing as the amoral lead, and catching Shannyn Sossamon in this was a nice change of pace compared to some her later, less than stellar films that I've sat through in recent years.

The wife made spaghetti for dinner and we ate after popping in a second film, something that I got a sudden nostalgic hankering to re-watch while we were about halfway through Rules.

We watched SLC Punk, which has to be one of my top five favorite films, something I've watched countless times, but hadn't seen in a couple of years, so it was nice to give it another look, especially with a fresh audience, as neither of the two women had seen it before. They both enjoyed it a great deal, which makes me happy to be showing them something new that they like, rather than something that they'll just be puzzled by my interest in.

JH split after the film was over and the wife retired to the bedroom and I to the office to goof around with this.

Be seeing you.

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Seriously? EVERY Friday? Fuck Me In My Evening

A friend of mine once told his rather smothering soon to be ex-girlfriend that he had no interest in spending time with her on a certain evening. When pressed for details about why, he loudly proclaimed "Because I have more important things to do, like sleep and dig in my ass!"

This is how I'm coming to feel about the regularly scheduled Friday night visits we have with the wife's pal Brian each week. I mean, I honestly don't have anything against the guy per se, it just drives me apeshit to have something so regimented into my life every week. Hell, there's people I have a helluva lot more in common with/am closer to that I don't even see every week, but this fella I have dinner with like clockwork, it's kinda ridiculous if you really think about it.

I think ultimately the issue I'm developing with the situation is the expectation each week, because it's the night he doesn't have his family or church penciled in, so it's our turn, and if we're busy, well then we move on to Saturday night, and so on from there, 'um, no sorry' never seems to be an option.

I guess the weirdest thing is there's no reason to not want to have dinner, but I tend to just want to lay on the couch and watch a movie with the wife some Fridays, rather than feeling as though I have to entertain someone, is that too much to ask? I've taken to sending the wife on her own if I really can't be bothered, but that still feels like life is being imposed on, as I'm accustomed to being able to spend time with her in the evenings.

Oh well, it's an annoyance, but a minor one at that, it just rears its head so frequently that I need to vent a little bit here or there. Tonight's frustration was slightly exacerbated by his parents turning up at the same restaurant, so we got to eat with them as well, which was another one of those "oh well, whatever" moments, but then when we're leaving they saw someone they knew and are stopped at their table shooting the shit. We're kinda edging away, they aren't taking the hint, and the next thing I know we're actually standing outside the restaurant and my wife doesn't want to leave because she didn't formally tell the parents goodbye. Their kid is okay with leaving, but my wife isn't!

I almost snapped, as I'm all for manners and trying to live as though I'm a part of society, but seriously, these people kind of invited themselves into our evening, and are acting as though they're settling in for a long visit with people I've never laid eyes on in my fucking life. I finally said "Honey, I'm getting in the car, I'm sorry, but this is fucking stupid to stand out here all night."

The wife was annoyed, but relented and we split, Brian noting that they hadn't even made it out of the restaurant yet as we pulled out of the parking lot, which made me feel at least somewhat justified. The wife got over it later, as I explained that I'd hit my tipping point on what I was willing to humor for the evening; she seemed to understand.

We wrapped up our evening with a new episode of The Soup and some clip show that followed, which had one of the hosts commenting about the mortified look on a dude's face when he's caught cheating and confronted about it; "Nice poker face, dumbass!" I guess you had to be there.

The terribly unfunny Chelsea Lately show came on next, which we watched about ten minutes of, just enough to annoy and piss me off before I had to turn it off. She and her panel of d-list comedians never fails to bug the shit out of me, it comes off like a group of catty high school girls sitting around the popular table taking shots at other kids. Their sardonic tone wears me down, it's generally not funny, just kinda mean, and if it occasionally approaches funny, the delivery is usually so lousy that I end up smiling at best rather than laughing. It's never as clever as they think it is, that's for Goddamned sure.

I'm out, there's a damned rainstorm blowing up, and since we still don't have the roof situation sorted out I'll probably be unable to sleep for fear that the leaks will run amuck while I slumber.

Be seeing you.

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