I did very little today save for work on the reviews I keep putting off, though I did get pretty well caught up on what I had been putting off for the week, so I have that going for me.
The wife had the afternoon free, so I made her sit through something I had noticed as going to drop off of the Netfux Instant Watch
soon, Bob Clark
's little 1982 titty classic Porky's
, which she'd unsurprisingly never seen and I hadn't watched in years.
That flick still
kills me, even knowing what the jokes are and where they are coming from, hell, that bit with the ballbreaker female coach demanding a nude lineup of the kids she'd caught peeping, so she can identify the kid's dick
, with the three coaches having conniptions
in the background, that had me laughing from the first moment of the scene. The older guy is so red, I thought his head would explode.
I also finally caught up on the last half of The IT Crowd Series Two
, a show that I like, but can kind of feel a bit stereotype heavy at times, almost to the point of farce. The show does always find a way to make me laugh tho, regardless of how ludicrous the scenarios get as the season goes on, so that's definitely something worth recommending.
We were supposed to meet up with Brian
for dinner, who'd requested that we come by his place, so we headed over there around 6:30, arriving a bit early for our 7:00 PM
rendezvous. We visited a bit, then grabbed a burger and watched a group of adults ignore the four children that they'd shat into the world and drug to this restaurant to run wild. Seriously, I don't know exactly who belonged to who as far as the parentage goes, as there were two middle aged dudes, one female and then at least 3 little boys under the age of ten, as well as a girl around the same age. All of these fucking kids were running from one end of the burger joint to another, as much as shoving their way past our party of three standing in line to demand this or that from the adults at the head of the line. Brian
mentioned that he was thinking of trying a certain kind of cheeseburger, I whispered to the wife that I was thinking of trying the vasectomy
to prevent us from ending up like these dull-eyed fucks, letting our kids run and shout with wild abandon in a public place.
Seriously folks, it's not that I don't like
kids, it's just that my parents would've beaten the shit out of me had I even thought
about acting like these children. You're raising irritating, unpleasant children and I resent our tax dollars paying to educate them if they can't shut the fuck up and behave when I happen to encounter them in a public situation.
We sat as far from that table as possible, though it was adjacent to the soft drink fountain, which these kids raced to every five minutes or so to refill their sodas, because they weren't sugared up enough quite yet. The wife was baffled that they kept allowing each kid to try and refill his own drink from a counter they could barely even reach, because he then spent the next five minutes trying to walk the drink back to their table without spilling it on himself or the floor; I spent a tense few moments waiting on him to dump it in the floor immediately beside me, but that splash of soda across my ankles thankfully never came. I must be living right these days.
We also ran into a couple I hadn't seen in forever, a guy who used to frequent one of the hobby stores I worked at back in the day who was out for dinner with his wife. I made the introductions, then bullshitted with him for a bit, catching up on all the random people we'd known 10 years ago and I've lost touch with, ending up feeling a little weird that none of the people he brought up was anyone that I actually missed.Brian
had an errand that involved an item to exchange at Toys "R" Us
, so I agreed to run them by there, as the wife also had a few items to pick up, having been roped into a child's birthday party tomorrow afternoon by her annoying friend Blather
, who is in town for the holidays. She'd already made lunch plans with her because 'hey, drop everything, I'm in town', but then she also springs an 'early birthday party' for her 3 year old on her "if you want to go, after lunch
", basically trapping her into it, which of course makes me want to kick a squirrel over our back fence in a fit of rage.Toys "R" Us
was filled with people who all looked like they hated each other as well as us, and were genuinely remorseful for ever having fucked the person they were with and having those children, y'know, Financial Burden The 1st, 2nd & 3rd
, the ones trailing behind them and indicating whatever nonsense they wanted from Santa
this time around. The actual shopping wasn't completely nightmarish, but after moving from one check out line to another THREE
different times, I began to wonder if I was going mad. Each cashier seemed to develop some sort of issue, either needing change, register crapping out on her, whatever
, but we had to change lines three times before we finally got checked out and the hell out of the store. Now that
was getting into borderline nightmare territory, like we were stuck in a fucking mobius loop or something.
We stopped into Barnes & Noble
, as I had a coupon I wanted to use for a really random graphic novel I'd seen in there awhile back. We ran into Scrawny McTall
and her husband, my Orthodontist
, so we visited a bit with them near the front of the store until it became apparent that the women were settling in to catch up, so the Ortho
excused himself to wander off with one of their kids, Brian
went to grab coffee for us and I went to find my book.
I know virtually nothing about David Mazzucchelli
's graphic novel Asterios Polyp
except that it appears to be a bit more linear than some of his Rubber Blanket
work from back when I was still collecting comics, and his cartooning style has continued to adapt to a fluid, more distinctly European
We headed back to Brian
's, he and the wife exchanged their Christmas
gifts, which as always consisted of basically an equal transaction of tender via gift-cards, sort of making the whole 'shopping for each other' something of a non-event, but who am I to fuck with tradition, right?
The wife and I headed home, were greeted by an ecstatic Yorkie
, then settled in to watch The Soup
and the re-run of the Venture Brothers Christmas Special
before calling it a night.
Be seeing you.Tag, you're it, Baggy Eyes! Netflix Instant Watch
, Bob Clark
, The IT Crowd
, Shitty Parenting
, Christmas Shopping
, David Mazzucchelli
, Asterios Polyp
, Rubber Blanket
, The Soup
, Venture Brothers