The wife had been pretty coy about some final birthday surprise that she had for me, but would have to pick up
Saturday morning, so I went to bed last night assuming that she had some sort of breakfast item in mind or something of that nature. The idea was that she had to be somewhere around 10:00, so if I was awake I would go with her, but if not she'd simply deliver the surprise to me at the house. As it turned out I was up late last night, so I got up today and was in the process of putting the kettle on and getting the sleep from my eyes when she arrived from her errand with our friend
Morris in tow.
Color me surprised, as I knew there was no way he'd be able to get away for the party, so him flying in was the last thing on my mind, so this was a really big surprise, I have to tellya. We visited for a bit, then I got dressed and we headed out to grab some lunch at a
Mexican place across town, in spite of the plan to have
Mexican food again for dinner, as it just sounded good for lunch.

We had some good food, then ran by the liquor store on the way home to prepare for the night's festivities.
Morris split to go and visit his mother in the afternoon and the wife and
Yorkie caught a nap in preparation for our evening, so I watched a little something off the
TiVo called
Vice Squad in which
Season Hubley plays
Princess, a prostitute in
L.A. who is used to entrap a vicious pimp called
Ramrod, played by
Wings Hauser in an early role. The film takes place over the course of a single night and once the pimp escapes custody the vice squad scrambles to track him down before he can seek revenge on
Hubley, who is unaware of the danger she's in as she goes about her normal trick-filled night. The movie was pretty interesting, reminding me a bit of
Paul Schrader's
Hardcore with
George C. Scott, which also just so happened to co-star
Hubely as
another hooker. Good stuff, worth a peep if you get a chance.
I showered in the late afternoon and got cleaned up for the evening, then spent some time picking up the house and getting things squared away as far as lighting and the bar set up went. The wife showered and dressed after I did, then went to pick up the food while I spent some time setting up the stereo, a process that would be our downfall, as the post title may have, um, hinted...
Since you can't really watch a film at a party because you can never hear it over people's various conversations, I had decided in advance to throw in a succession of subtitled films to play in the background, as they would leave something visual for people to enjoy if they chose to look into the den and they could 'read' without feeling like they were missing out on the dialog, but I put our normal assortment of
CD's on random to play throughout the house, as I'd prefer that folks hear strains of music if there was a lull in conversation rather than people chattering in a foreign language. Again, I thought I had totally thought this through, but bear with me...
The wife returned with the food, just behind
JH and
Morris, who had both turned up a little bit early in case we needed help setting up. We visited a bit,
Morris volunteered to play bartender and started making a few cocktails, then our other guests began to turn up shortly after 7:00. We greeted and visited and mingled our little hearts out for awhile, then someone finally made the first move on the food line and I had another drink as I chitchatted with a friend I rarely see and his new bride, then they settled in for some food and I moved on to try and play good host by making time to catch up with everyone.
The assembled included
Brian, our friend
Scrawny McTall and her sweet husband, The
Minister and his
Wife, the new executive director of the museum, lots of people that made for an interesting mix of folks. After the various feedings hard started to die down a bit the wife led folks on a tour of the renovations on the far side of the house, which I joined after grabbing another drink from
Morris, catching up with
Scrawny McTall and her hubby as
Brian gave them a lingering tour of things behind the other group.
We eventually heard a weird blaring noise in the other room that dissipated
quickly, so I honestly thought nothing of it, figuring someone had maybe fiddled with the remote and then turned it back down.
We made our way back to the other side of the house and I noticed that the
Minister and his
Wife were in the den checking out the movie, but thought nothing of it, as that was sort of the plan, watch it if you want, or socialize if you want, right? I drifted back ot the kitchen table and was speaking to
JT and his new bride when a sudden shrill noise had everyone in the house covering their ears, only to stop suddenly.
As it turned out, the
Minister's Wife had decided that she "wanted to hear the
French" and evidently maxed out the volume completely on our surround sound system trying to get it to play something besides the
CD's it was spinning. The 'protect' warning flashing on the front of the receiver gave me a sinking feeling in my stomach, so I fiddled with it as best I could in my frankly buzzed state and was rather alarmed to find that there was no sound to be had on
any of the devices plugged into the surround sound system. I completely shut down everything several times, got no response from the speakers, tried turning it all off by pressing the power button on the surge protector that everything is plugged into, still got zero response when the
TiVo re-booted, none of that familiar
THX logo bass, leading me to believe that we are well and truly fucked.
I got apologies from both the
Minister and his
Wife at this point, which I
think (sorry, but I was drunk) that I accepted without being an asshole, something I don't know that I will be able to do if they want to talk much further about this, as the situation is so
amazingly alien to me. I would never dream of messing around with another person's stuff this way, and since I
thought I had gone out of my way to accomodate both music and visuals, I was slightly furious that someone would go out of their way to cock that up, if even accidentally. And I know it was all a big accident, but there was absolutely
NO REASON for it to happen, and I was seriously told that she was sorry, but she had just wanted to hear the
French.
Hear the French.
I was able to resist the urge to scream "Hear the
French? Y'mean the language that you
don't speak and that is being simultaneously translated on the screen for you?
REALLY?!?" It's times like this that I really wonder what a stroke feels like.
Since I was drunk and seething with anger at this point I kinda stepped away and hit the bathroom and tried to re-group mentally, then re-joined the party, grabbing a stiff drink in hopes that it would take some of the sting away. I'd already resigned myself to giving up on the sound system until I was sober and able to deal with it logically and not just start yanking cords in frustration. I'm not sure how much this turn of events colored the rest of the evening, but people did start splitting shortly after this clusterfuck happened, and I got another apology and a note from the
Minister's Wife requesting that we send her the bill for the repairs, which we'll of course never do, because it's not worth it, but by the same token I don't know that I'll be able to
not yell at this woman the next time I see her. Hell, I had made tentative plans to have lunch with her husband at some point, so how the fuck am I supposed to get through a meal in a
Chili's without asking him to his face if his wife is an idiot? That's no lunch I wanna go to; I feel so completely fucked in this situation, which may abate slightly once we get a chance to start planning the repair process, but holy shit,
why did this have to happen?
I mean fucking
yikes, if you're in someone else's house and something doesn't appear to be working, wouldn't you find your host and ask what's up? Not just keep hammering away at buttons? Or am I the idiot who's too nice for my own good and this is just how people normally act? So
Goddamned frustrating. Sigh.
If we
ever host another party (chances are slim at this point) I'm sticking the remote up my ass where it will be safe and warm, just so no one can start fucking around with it.
At any rate, as the party eventually dwindled down to
Brian,
Morris,
JH and the museum's executive director we all settled into the kitchen and I continued to hammer down cocktails and alternately whinge and bitch about the stereo system, because frankly it's easier to do that than throw shit and yell, which is pretty much what I wanted to do, because
Goddammit, can't we just have nice things?
DR eventually joined us after 10:00 when he got off work and I spoke to the
Hairdressers to see if they would be by, as they were our only other 'maybe' folksthat I really expected might still turn up. They begged off, as one of them was feeling sick and they had worked later than usual. They did mention something weird about
Anastasia Beaverhouszen (who is in Italy at this time) planning to send by some kind of surprise, which I only halfway registered, as I was pretty well half in the bag by this stage of the evening.
About 30 minutes later I'll be
Goddamned if the doorbell doesn't ring, and it's a couple pizzas delivered courtesy of our friends in
Italy, who couldn't join us but instead sent some
Italian food in their stead.
What a sweet couple, I was very touched to be sure.
We snacked some more and the evening began to wind down after midnight, as the wife had to call it a night since she was totally exhausted. Our final stragglers ended up being
Morris and
JH, who would crash out over on the
Guest Side of the house as I finally retired to the
Office to start working up the notes for this post and venting my rage a bit.
I'm out kids.
Be seeing you.